Are you in a relationship that feels off, but you can’t explain why? This episode of That’s Not Okay breaks down the 3 major types of abuse — psychological, emotional, and physical — and exposes how they often start subtly but escalate over time. Learn how to recognize red flags like gaslighting, silent treatment, DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim-Offender), and manipulation tactics that keep you confused and stuck.

We’ll talk about whether abuse has to be intentional, how abusers often play the victim, and why abuse is more about values than mental health. If you’ve ever felt like your pain was minimized or your truth was twisted against you, this is your clarity.

You’ll walk away knowing:

• The difference between abuse and normal conflict

• Why impact matters more than intent

• How abusers justify harm — and how to stop internalizing blame

• What to do to safely start detaching and healing

• Why you are not too sensitive — and why your peace matters

Hit follow, share with a friend, and remember: you’re not crazy. You’re waking up.

#toxicrelationships #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #healingjourney #redflags #mentalhealth #abusesurvivor #DARVO #thatsnotokay #christianpodcast

Have you ever felt ganged up on, misunderstood, or like someone poisoned your relationships from behind the scenes? This episode of That’s Not Okay dives into how toxic people weaponize others to manipulate, control, and isolate you—without ever confronting you directly. Alyssa exposes the hidden abuse tactics of smearing, flying monkeys, triangulation, and gaslighting through comparison and minimization. Whether you’ve lived through it or fear you’ve used these tactics yourself, this episode brings validation, clarity, and a call to healing. Learn how to reclaim your power, set boundaries, and stop doubting your reality. You’re not crazy. You’re not too much. And you’re definitely not alone.

Keywords: toxic relationships, flying monkeys, smear campaign, triangulation, gaslighting, emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, red flags, setting boundaries, self-worth, podcast on manipulation, healing from abuse

Email: thatsnotokaypodcast@gmail.com

Is your partner more emotionally committed to their parents than to you? In this eye-opening episode of That’s Not OK: Spot the Red Flags, Reclaim Your Love Life, host Alyssa exposes the rarely discussed but deeply damaging dynamic of enmeshment—a toxic family system where love is conditional, boundaries are blurred, and your partner’s identity is consumed by their parent-child role.

You’ll learn:

• What enmeshment really is (and why it’s not love)

• The three toxic child roles in enmeshed families: golden child, scapegoat, and forgotten child

• Why you feel like a third wheel in your own relationship

• How emotional fusion, guilt, and control replace true closeness

• What change actually looks like (spoiler: it’s not lip service)

Whether you’re dating someone enmeshed with their family, trying to heal from this yourself, or just wondering why something always feels “off,” this episode is your red-flag decoder.

Listen now and learn how to spot emotional incest, stand up for your worth, and reclaim the love life you deserve.

Contact: thatsnotokaypodcast@gmail.com

In this episode of That’s Not Okay, Alyssa dives deep into the world of boundaries in relationships—what they are, why they matter, and why they make some people so angry. Learn how boundaries help you protect your mental, emotional, and spiritual health, and why unhealthy people often react with guilt trips, gaslighting, or rage.

We’ll also explore how attachment styles—anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—affect the way people respond to rejection and “no.” If you’ve ever felt punished for asserting your needs or pressured to tolerate dysfunction, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction: What are boundaries?

02:15 – Why “No” triggers unhealthy people

06:50 – Boundaries vs. Entitlement

10:30 – How boundaries create healthy love

16:00 – Broken attachment styles & boundaries

25:45 – Internal vs. external boundaries

30:00 – Why narcissistic family systems fear boundaries

37:10 – Final thoughts: Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re love in action.

Keywords:

boundaries in relationships, how to set boundaries, attachment styles, narcissistic families, red flags in love, emotional health, why people hate boundaries, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment

Resources:

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Contact: thatsnotokaypodcast@gmail.com

Links: YouTube & Spotify

Hey, and welcome to That’s Not Okay—the podcast where we call out red flags, reclaim our love lives, and talk honestly about the messy, beautiful work of becoming better partners and better people.

Contact: thatsnotokaypodcast@gmail.com

Links: YouTube & Spotify

Are you stuck in confusing or painful relationship patterns? In this episode of That’s Not Okay, Alyssa dives deep into the four major attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how they shape the way you love, connect, and struggle. Learn how your early caregiver dynamics impact your romantic relationships and how to begin healing dysfunctional patterns.

We also explore broken love styles from How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich and how enmeshment, emotional neglect, or trauma may be showing up in your adult life. You’ll find tools for self-reflection, insight into why even securely attached people can feel insecure in toxic dynamics, and compassionate guidance for reclaiming your relational well-being.

Books and resources mentioned:

• ​How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich
• ​Attachment by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
• ​Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin
• ​The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller
• ​Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
• ​Attached to God by Crispin Mayfield

If you’re looking to understand yourself better, break free from codependency, or simply create healthier, more fulfilling relationships—this episode is for you.

Contact: thatsnotokaypodcast@gmail.com

Links: YouTube & Spotify

In this powerful debut episode of The “That’s Not Okay” podcast, host Alyssa dives deep into the painful—but necessary—process of naming and understanding toxic relationship dynamics. From emotional abuse and blame-shifting to spiritual manipulation and narcissism, Alyssa shares lessons from her own journey—offering hope to those trapped in painful cycles and calling in those ready to change. Whether you’ve been gaslit into silence or you’re beginning to notice patterns in your own behavior, this episode is your invitation to grow, heal, and reclaim your love life.

Topics include: what actually makes a relationship abusive (not just “conflict”), why defensiveness, blame, and punishment are major red flags, how spiritual abuse keeps people trapped in harmful relationships, the danger of dating someone’s potential, and a message of hope for people who want to change.

Resources mentioned in the episode include The Narc Mother-in-Law Podcast, which explores the impact of narcissistic in-laws on romantic relationships; Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft, a foundational book on understanding abuse; and Should I Stay or Should I Go? by Lundy Bancroft and JAC Patrissi, a practical guide to evaluating whether a relationship is worth saving.

Contact: thatsnotokaypodcast@gmail.com

Links: YouTube & Spotify