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The boys are back after a two-week break and the world hasn't
got any saner.

This week on Temporarily Scripted, Jack and Adam
unpack the Artemis moon mission (and ask whether we even went
the first time), the knock-on chaos from the Iran war hitting
UK petrol prices and medicine supplies, and Meta's $375 million
fine in New Mexico for harming kids on Facebook, Instagram and
WhatsApp.

Plus: a Hackney pub bans children, Jonathan the
194-year-old tortoise gets caught up in a crypto scam, and our

Top 5 greatest April Fools pranks pulled by global brands —
including Burger King's left-handed Whopper and Terry's
emergency chocolate orange phone case.

Honest, unfiltered, and probably uncensorable. Two blokes, the
week's weirdest news, zero corporate polish.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome back 02:30 Artemis moon mission — did we even go?

03:15 Iran war fallout: petrol, flights & UK medicine shortages

08:30 Life in space: exercise, wet farts & deadlift records

10:30 Did we actually land on the moon?

18:30 UK medicine shortages & "never waste a good crisis"

24:30 The digital nomad coffee shop problem

33:00 Meta fined $375M for harming kids

43:30 Hackney pub bans children — fair or not?

48:30 Jonathan the 194-year-old tortoise vs the crypto scammers

51:30 TOP 5: Greatest brand April Fools pranks ever

59:30 Wrap up

🎙 New episodes every week
👍 Like, subscribe and share if you enjoyed
💬 Drop your hot takes in the comments

#TemporarilyScripted #Podcast #ArtemisMoonMission
#MoonLandingConspiracy #MetaFine #MarkZuckerberg #IranWar
#UKNews #AprilFools #BritishPodcast #ComedyPodcast
#NewsPodcast #Conspiracy

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Banksy's been unmasked. Reuters did a massive investigation and traced him back to an original arrest 20-30 years ago, plus eyewitness lineups in Ukraine.

The mystery artist might actually be Robin Gunning (later David Jones). We're diving into whether the anonymity made him more valuable than the actual art.

This week on Temporally Scripted, we're covering the meningitis outbreak in Kent (20 cases, 2 deaths, and it's giving us flashbacks to being kids), China's approved brain-computer implant that's basically Neuralink but Chinese, AI giving dangerously confident but wrong medical advice (like shoving garlic up your arse for immune health), and a woman suing Ribena for £20K after a bottle exploded in her "high spec passive house."

Then we're talking about Elon Musk's vision for Neuralink being the only way humanity survives AI, whether wine and art are massively overpriced status symbols, and a goldfish called Blurb who set a Guinness World Record by driving a motion-sensored car 12.28 meters.

Plus: our Top 5 Psychic Predictions That Allegedly Came True — from Jean Dixon predicting JFK's assassination to Nostradamus and the death of Henry II.

New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're still here.

CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro & Beard Status Update
05:00 – Banksy Identity Revealed By Reuters Investigation
13:00 – Wine & Art: Overpriced Status Symbols?
23:00 – Meningitis Outbreak In Kent (Flashbacks To Being Kids)
28:00 – China Approves Brain-Computer Implant (Chinese Neuralink)
35:00 – AI Gives Dangerously Wrong Medical Advice
40:00 – Woman Sues Ribena For £20K Kitchen Explosion
48:00 – Goldfish Breaks World Record Driving A Car
52:00 – Top 5 Psychic Predictions That Came True

#Banksy #Meningitis #Neuralink #AI #MedicalAdvice #GuinnessWorldRecords #Psychics #TemporallyScripted #Ribena #BrainImplants #Podcast

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Oil's over $100 a barrel and we've all had to trade our cars for bicycles. Well, not really, but fuel prices are mental and Vietnam's government just abolished fuel duty while the UK is... raising it. Brilliant.

This week on Temporally Scripted, we're covering why Trump keeps saying the Iran war will be "over tomorrow" (narrator: it wasn't), Starmer knowing about Mandelson's Epstein connections before hiring him, the Greens winning a by-election promising to legalize everything, and why AI infrastructure is about to cost $600 billion in 2026.

Then we're diving into Elon Musk's plan for orbital data centers powered by solar satellites (mining the moon for raw materials, naturally), news outlets recycling stories from 2017 and pretending they're new, a woman who kept another woman captive for 25 years only getting 13 years in prison, and lab-grown foie gras getting UK safety approval.

Plus: why middle management pay hasn't increased while pot washers now earn £25K, universal basic income speculation, and our Top 5 Shockingly Expensive Substances On Earth — from antimatter at $62.5 trillion per gram to saffron at $3,800 per kilo.

New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're still here.

CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro & Bicycles Made For Two
02:00 – Oil Hits $100 A Barrel & UK Raises Fuel Duty
08:00 – Starmer Knew About Mandelson/Epstein Before Hiring Him
09:00 – Greens Win By-Election: Legalize Everything
13:00 – Iran War Still Not Over (Despite Trump's Promises)
17:00 – AI Infrastructure Costs $600 Billion In 2026
22:00 – Elon Musk's Orbital Data Centers & Moon Mining Plans
25:00 – Jobs, Automation & Universal Basic Income
33:00 – News Outlets Recycling 2017 Stories As New
37:00 – Woman Kept Captive 25 Years, Gets 13 Year Sentence
43:00 – Lab-Grown Foie Gras Gets UK Safety Approval
49:00 – Top 5 Shockingly Expensive Substances (Antimatter To Saffron)

#Oil #Iran #AI #ElonMusk #UKPolitics #Starmer #UniversalBasicIncome #TemporallyScripted #Automation #FuelPrices #Podcast

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America's gone into Iran, killed the Supreme Leader, and sent an armada to the Middle East. We're breaking down what's actually happening, the insane cost of shooting down $20K drones with $3M missiles, and whether this turns into another decades-long mess like Iraq and Afghanistan.

This week on Temporally Scripted, we're covering the Iran situation (and why Trump's midterms might depend on it), Ed Davey saying tax exiles in Dubai don't deserve help getting home, a UK police sergeant fired for using a picture frame to hold down laptop keys while "working from home," and why the British government fundamentally doesn't care about expats.

Then we're talking about a pet worker who made $23,000 in 8 days feeding cats during Lunar New Year, an Australian Pastafarian fighting to keep his colander driving license photo, and our Top 5 Japanese-Only Emotions — words for feelings we don't have in English, from the ache of impermanence to buying books you'll never read.

Plus: Winston Churchill's daily alcohol intake (it's alarming), why South Korea went from nothing to economic powerhouse while Iran went backwards, and whether working harder actually makes you luckier.

New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're still here.

CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro & Iran Supreme Leader Job Opening
04:00 – America Invades Iran: What's Actually Happening
13:00 – The Cost Of War: $3M Missiles vs $20K Drones
21:00 – Trump's Leadership vs Modern Politicians
28:00 – Ed Davey: Tax Exiles Don't Deserve Help
36:00 – South Korea vs Iran: Development In Reverse
40:00 – UK Police Sergeant Fired For Working From Home Scam
47:00 – $23K Cat Feeding Hustle During Lunar New Year
50:00 – Pastafarian Fights For Colander License Photo
53:00 – Top 5 Japanese-Only Emotions We Need In English

#Iran #MiddleEast #Trump #UKPolitics #TaxExiles #WorkFromHome #LunarNewYear #JapaneseLanguage #TemporallyScripted #Podcast

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Prince Andrew's is now banned from riding horses. Because nothing says "I'm innocent" like giving up your favorite hobby on PR advice from your team.

This week on Temporally Scripted, we're diving deeper into the Epstein files (it gets darker), the BAFTA Awards Tourette's incident that the BBC "accidentally" left unedited for 12 hours, and UK police now using Palantir AI to analyze digital evidence - because what could go wrong?

Then we're talking about Google Maps labeling businesses as "woman-owned" and "LGBTQ+ friendly" (mate, everywhere should be), UK dual nationality passports now costing £589, Thai police catching burglars while dressed as a lion dance crew, and a Sicilian genius who trained his dog to fly-tip for him.

Plus: why the UK is fundamentally broken with 70 million people and systems designed for 58 million, virtual reality as population control, and our Top 5 Ice Age Animals That Sound Fake But Were Real - including a 4-ton ground sloth and beavers the size of bears.

New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're still here after all that.

CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro
00:05 – Prince Andrew Banned From Horses
06:00 – Epstein Files Get Even Darker (Jerky, Missing Kids & Jimmy Savile)
18:00 – BAFTA Tourette's Incident & BBC's 12-Hour "Mistake"
23:00 – Woman-Owned Vegan Coffee Shops & LGBTQ+ Labels
31:00 – UK Police Using Palantir AI For Evidence Analysis
36:00 – UK Immigration Crisis: 70 Million People, Victorian Infrastructure
47:00 – Dual Nationality Passports Now Cost £589
50:00 – Thai Police Catch Burglar Dressed As Lions
51:00 – Sicilian Man Trains Dog To Fly-Tip
53:00 – Top 5 Ice Age Animals (Woolly Mammoths, Saber Tooth Tigers & Giant Beavers)

#PrinceAndrew #EpsteinFiles #UKPolitics #Palantir #AI #Immigration #TemporallyScripted #BAFTA #IceAge #Podcast

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Prince Andrew arrested on his 60th birthday. Mate, you can't write this stuff. The first royal arrest since King Charles I in the 17th century, and Thames Valley Police picked the day he turned 60 to do it.

We're discussing what happens next, whether he'll actually face consequences, and if the Royal Family finally cuts him loose.

This week on Temporarily Scripted, we're unpacking the Andrew arrest (including the suspicious fine art van that left his property), the new Hillsborough Law that makes it illegal for ministers to lie to the public — but somehow MPs are exempt — and whether Keir Starmer survives his 17th U-turn.

Then we're talking Meta's new patent that lets them simulate dead users and keep their accounts active posthumously (because grief wasn't complicated enough), smart underwear that tracks your farts for gut health monitoring, and our Top 5 Weird UK Laws That Are Actually True — including why you can't be drunk in a pub and when it's legal to beat your doormat in the street.

Plus: Larry the Cat for Prime Minister, why Trump called what happened to Andrew "a very sad thing," and the paradox of the no-wipe situation.

New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're enjoying the show.

CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro & Tet Holiday Stories
03:00 – Prince Andrew Arrested On His 60th Birthday
13:00 – The Hillsborough Law: Illegal To Lie (Unless You're An MP)
23:00 – Labor's 17 U-Turns & The Lowest Approval Rating Ever
28:00 – Larry The Cat Should Be Prime Minister
33:00 – Is Reform Actually Going To Win?
37:00 – Meta's Patent To Keep Dead People Posting
44:00 – Smart Underwear That Tracks Your Farts
49:00 – Top 5 Weird UK Laws (Drunk In Pubs, Kite Flying & Doormats)

#PrinceAndrew #RoyalArrest #UKPolitics #KeirStarmer #MetaAI #HillsboroughLaw #LarryTheCat #Reform #TemporarilyScripted #CurrentAffairs #Podcast

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The Epstein files saga just got deeper. Andrew Mountbatten Windsor — formerly known as the Duke of York, formerly known as Prince Andrew, formerly known as... no wait, that's someone else — is now under formal investigation by Thames Valley Police for allegedly leaking UK trade secrets to Jeffrey Epstein.

And the Royal Family broke their centuries-old media silence during a state visit to address it. We're talking treason-level allegations here.

This week on Temporarily Scripted, we're unpacking the Andrew investigation, why the "safely released" WhatsApp messages from cabinet ministers are anything but safe, and whether insider trading at the top is just how the game works

(spoiler: it probably is, but that doesn't make it okay).

Then we're diving into AI psychosis — the guy who spiraled so hard into ChatGPT dependence he ended up homeless. Is it a real thing or just someone with underlying issues?

Plus: Green Day softening their politics at the Super Bowl, why Adam had to quit Cat GPT, and whether celebrities should just shut up and play guitar.

Finally, we celebrate David Rush reclaiming his chair-balancing world record (1 hour 20 minutes on his chin, absolute legend) and our Top 5 Weirdest Things

About the Moon — because it's Lunar New Year and the moon is genuinely mental.

New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're enjoying the show.

CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro & Alleyway Memories
02:00 – Prince Andrew Investigation: Epstein Files Deepens
10:00 – Is Insider Trading Just How Politics Works?
16:00 – WhatsApp Messages & "Safe" Document Releases
19:00 – AI Psychosis: Can ChatGPT Ruin Your Life?
27:00 – Green Day, The Super Bowl & Celebrity Politics
34:00 – David Rush's Chair Balancing Record
36:00 – Top 5 Weirdest Things About The Moon

#EpsteinFiles #PrinceAndrew #RoyalFamily #AIpsychosis #ChatGPT #UKPolitics #SuperBowl #GreenDay #MoonFacts #LunarNewYear #Podcast #TemporarilyScripted #CurrentAffairs

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What a week. The Epstein files have dropped and it's absolutely mental. 3 million documents, connections to everyone from Mandelson to the Royal Family, and some of it reads wilder than fiction.

This week on Temporarily Scripted, we're digging into what's actually in the files — insider trading allegations, government agency ties, and what it means for Keir Starmer's decision to appoint Mandelson as UK Ambassador to the US despite MI6 warnings.

Then we're talking AI agents building their own social media platform called Malt Book (1.5 million bots and counting), why AI is making all content beige, and whether the AI bubble is sustainable and what the economic signs are pointing to.

Plus: the TSA's annual plea to stop hiding turtles in your pants, giant ice age kangaroos that would absolutely destroy you, and our Top 5 World Leader Gaffs featuring Reagan, Bush, and Starmer's legendary sausage moment.

New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you enjoy the show — tell your mates.

CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro 02:00 – The Epstein Files: Mandelson, Gates & Global Connections 16:00 – AI Agents Build Their Own Reddit 26:00 – Is AI Making Everything the Same? 34:00 – Stop Hiding Animals in Your Trousers 37:00 – Giant Ice Age Kangaroos 42:00 – Top 5 World Leader Gaffs

#EpsteinFiles #Mandelson #AIAgents #MaltBook #TopFive #UKPolitics #CurrentAffairs #Podcast #TemporarilyScripted #WeeklyNews

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