Emily continues her conversation with author and podcaster Melanie Shankle to talk about her memoir Here Be Dragons and the surprising metaphor that helped her finally see boundaries clearly: her dog’s leg amputation. The loss was painful, but it also removed the source of constant suffering and made room for real freedom. That same question hangs over so many of our lives: what are we still tolerating that keeps us limping?

From there we go into deeper themes of Christian healing. We also name one of the most hidden wounds in the mother-daughter relationship: envy. Melanie shares what it’s like to realize a parent resents your contentment, your marriage, and why naming envy isn’t arrogance.

We connect our personal story to the biblical account of Numbers 13, where Joshua and Caleb believe God’s promises and refuse to join the fear story even when the crowd turns on them. If you’re trying to break generational trauma, you’ll recognize the pressure to stay quiet, keep the peace, and return to “the way it’s always been.” We talk about parenting without turning kids into emotional caregivers and doing story work that brings truth into the light.

If you’re navigating boundaries, no contact, family dysfunction, or the long road to spiritual and emotional health, this conversation offers language and courage.

Books that have inspired Melanie that she mentioned at the end of the episode: She loves all the books written by these authors!

John Mark Comer: Live No Lies

Ann Lamont: Traveling Mercies

Tina Fey: Bossypants

Mindy Kaling: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

Kelly Corrigan: The Middle Place

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Some family pain doesn’t look dramatic from the outside, which is exactly why it can trap you for decades. Emily sits down with three-time New York Times bestselling author Melanie Shankle to talk about her book "Here Be Dragons."

We talk about how helping a daughter navigate mean girls uncovered a deeper story of generational trauma, people pleasing, and the old parental scripts that still play in your head. Melanie shares what it took to overcome gaslighting messages like “you’re being dramatic” and why writing her story forced her to move from a detached retelling into emotional honesty. Along the way, we explore how God’s steadfast love can meet us in the places we most want to avoid.

We also get practical about healing and boundaries within Christian community. What do you do when church culture misunderstands your boundaries and pressures you to minimize your needs. Melanie speaks to the real issues that arise when outsiders only know the charming version of a parent. Melanie offers thoughtful guidance on discernment, prayer, and trusting your instincts.

If you care about being a more empathetic friend to people like Melanie, have difficult family systems yourself, want to understand emotional abuse, and desire to hold the nuance of what honoring a parent can truly mean, this conversation will give you language and clarity! Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more listeners can find the show.

Resources: Melanie Shankle's book: Here Be Dragons, Anne Lamott's book: Bird by Bird... and more to come in the second part of the interview next episode!

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Resistance is something we all feel at times. We know growth is good, we know story work matters, and yet we'd rather stay in “get things done” mode rather than feel what’s tender. We lean into that tension of a nervous system that doesn’t want to shift gears. When we lack flexibility, we get stuck in one state of being and even small endeavors like journaling can feel costly.

We talk through the importance of integration: having access to many inner states and choosing what fits the moment. That leads to simple practices like a one minute transition pause, noticing ambivalence and honest naming. This is real strength: separating feelings from identity so we can stay present and wise.

We go deeper into sexual trauma and the complexity of ambivalence, including how grooming and abuse can create a confusing mix of harm and bodily response. We’re careful here: naming complexity never excuses abuse. But what goes unnamed keeps power, and bringing the whole truth into the light is often part of reclaiming what was buried and moving toward healing.

We close by widening the lens to our polarized world and to Christian discipleship: learning to listen, hold nuance, and become more fully human in relationship with others.

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This is an updated and edited episode replacing the one we accidentally published two weeks ago. In it we discuss how your mind can say “I trust God” while your body quietly braces for abandonment. That tension is not a character flaw, it’s often a story. We sit with the hard reality of a divided self: the logical part of us reaches for faith, while the limbic system carries old alarms that flare up right at the moment we try to get close to God, a spouse, or a friend.

We walk through Psalm 27 as a trauma-informed guide to Christian healing and spiritual formation. David names safety (“He will hide me”), belonging (“joy”), and then the risk that follows intimacy: “Do not turn your servant away.” We talk about why vulnerability can feel like stepping across a threshold, how fear of rejection shapes prayer and relationships, and why “teach me your way… lead me on a level path” sounds like rewiring well-worn neuropathways through embodied trust and practice.

Then we ask a question that hits at the core of hope: “Is there a balm in Gilead?” We contrast Edgar Allan Poe’s despair in The Raven with David’s insistence on “the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living,” and we connect it to the cross as the center that gathers the disordered fragments of our being. If you’re tired of quick fixes and spiritual platitudes, this conversation offers a steadier path: tell the truth, bring it into the light, and let Jesus meet you where you actually are.

Subscribe for more conversations like this, share this with a friend who’s doing the hard work of healing, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What feels like the biggest “threshold” for you right now?

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In this conversation, drawing from Mark 9, Romans 7, and Romans 12, we unpack ambivalence. Two opposing truths can freeze the body, fog the mind, and keep the heart guarded. Rather than calling one wrong and another right, we ask what each part is protecting, and we invite Jesus to carry the burden those defenses have held for years.

We explore why evil can look orderly and why legalism masquerades as maturity. When life’s pressure points hit—an aging parent, a marriage stalemate, a dwindling bank account—our self-reliance cracks, and poverty of spirit finally has a voice. James calls us to ask for wisdom with trust; we translate that into a practical rhythm: notice activation, admit helplessness, ask for help, act in a small faithful step. This is not self-help. It’s sanctification that happens in a body: offering ourselves as living sacrifices, letting old protections “die,” and experiencing the slow renewal of our minds and nervous systems.

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Ever set a bold goal only to watch your body reach for the old comfort? We pull back the curtain on why change feels like a tug-of-war, showing how the limbic system, dopamine, and attachment history shape cravings—and why that makes perfect sense. Rather than shaming the body or glorifying willpower, we map a kinder route to lasting transformation where faith and neuroscience meet.

We unpack the tension Paul names in Romans 7 and the invitation James offers to count trials as joy. Trials don’t create reactions; they reveal them, giving us the exact data we need to grow. Drawing on exposure and response principles, we explain how staying present in safe, intentional doses rewires the amygdala, builds steadfastness, and aligns long-term values with moment-by-moment choices. From fasting to the marshmallow test, from smoking and soda to social belonging, we explore how immediate relief competes with deeper hope—and how to train the heart without denying human need.

You’ll learn a five-step process to integrate body and belief: expect activation, notice impulses, resist the automatic escape, bring it to Jesus with honest prayer, and re-anchor in safety before moving forward. We also challenge the myth that trauma isn’t real or that spirituality should override biology, offering a shame-free approach where story, faith, and neurobiology work together. With vivid examples—including a climbing analogy that reframes “discipline” as integration—we show how the gospel functions like a harness: it doesn’t remove the climb, but it secures you while you practice new moves.

If this conversation helps you see your habits and hopes with fresh eyes, share it with a friend, subscribe for more story-informed episodes, and leave a review telling us which of the five steps you’ll try first. Your reflections help others find a gentler path to real change.

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We kick off Season 4 with a timely exploration of goals, Lent, and the deeper workings of the human heart. Drawing from neuroscience and Christian spiritual formation, we unpack why 80–90% of our daily actions originate in the limbic system and how that reality reframes change, healing, and sanctification.

We define the “inner world” of the heart—emotions, memory, and subconscious patterns and the “outer world” of visible behavior and public image. Then we trace how triggers actually work: the amygdala fires before the prefrontal cortex weighs in, while the hippocampus matches present cues with past experiences. That’s why willpower collapses when stress, fatigue, or loneliness hit. We share a powerful client story about sleep, loss, and “missing out,” we show how reframing memory can quiet the alarm and open space for compassion, choice, and genuine transformation.

We also connect this science to one of our favorite statements in scripture “I believe; help my unbelief.” This captures the tension between what we cognitively affirm and what our bodies fear or doubt.

We talk habituation, Romans 12, and practical steps for aligning belief with behavior: noticing triggers, naming stories, practicing gentle exposure, and meeting younger parts of us with kindness. The aim is integration—a life where the mind and heart move together and love becomes the new normal.

If this resonates, listen now, share it with a friend and leave a review. Subscribe for the full series as we get practical about transforming the inner world with wisdom, compassion, and hope.

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In Season 1 we had a conversation the week of Thanksgiving that we want to share again as we conclude Season 3. Holiday tables can be warm, funny, and deeply desired—and they can also be minefields of subtle jabs, old roles, and unspoken rules. We name the ache beneath nostalgia and share a grounded, faith-based way to move from autopilot to awareness so you can keep your peace without losing yourself.

Using Dan Siegel’s flashlight metaphor, we show how to shift your focus intentionally, notice what sits at the edge of awareness, and choose responses that fit your values. The goal isn’t a flawless holiday; it’s an honest and hopeful one.

If this conversation helps you breathe a little easier heading into the season, share it with a friend, subscribe for more story-wise episodes, and leave a review to help others find the show.

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