45. Why We Avoid What Heals Us

Resistance is something we all feel at times. We know growth is good, we know story work matters, and yet we'd rather stay in “get things done” mode rather than feel what’s tender. We lean into that tension of a nervous system that doesn’t want to shift gears. When we lack flexibility, we get stuck in one state of being and even small endeavors like journaling can feel costly.

We talk through the importance of integration: having access to many inner states and choosing what fits the moment. That leads to simple practices like a one minute transition pause, noticing ambivalence and honest naming. This is real strength: separating feelings from identity so we can stay present and wise.

We go deeper into sexual trauma and the complexity of ambivalence, including how grooming and abuse can create a confusing mix of harm and bodily response. We’re careful here: naming complexity never excuses abuse. But what goes unnamed keeps power, and bringing the whole truth into the light is often part of reclaiming what was buried and moving toward healing.

We close by widening the lens to our polarized world and to Christian discipleship: learning to listen, hold nuance, and become more fully human in relationship with others.

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