What happens when people decide to share their sexual fantasies? How does it usually go? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how many people have ever shared their fantasies with a partner before, the five most common reasons that people decide to open up about them, as well as how partners usually react to fantasy disclosure.

I am joined by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmingham City University. He researches sexual fantasies and also leads the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• Is it common for people to share their fantasies with their partners?
• What is the most common reason for sharing a sexual fantasy?
• Why do some people choose to keep their fantasies secret?
• Do partners typically respond positively or negatively when fantasies are shared?
• When is sharing your fantasies a good idea?

You can check out the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab’s website to learn more about Matthew’s work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Long-term partners often find themselves having the same fight over and over again. This repetitive, unproductive conflict is known as a negative cycle–and it can ultimately be very damaging to the relationship. So in today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to identify negative cycles in your own relationship, and how to break the pattern.

My guest is Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. Julie’s latest book is titled Secure Love: Create a Relationship that Lasts a Lifetime.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• How do you know when an argument you’re having with a partner is reflective of a larger negative cycle?
• What are some ways to use vulnerability to break out of a negative cycle?
• What does co-regulation look like for couples trying to resolve an argument?
• What are the most common traps that lead to negative cycles in the first place?
• How can couples repair their relationship if a negative cycle sneaks in?

You can visit Julie’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Oral sex is one of the most popular bedroom activities. However, while most people say that it can be highly pleasurable, it doesn’t always feels great. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to make oral sex better. Specifically, we’ll explore tips and techniques from the Pleasure Mechanics for being both a good giver and receiver, including what to do if you find yourself getting bored giving oral sex.

I am joined by Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• Why is the idea that there’s just one perfect “recipe” for oral sex a myth?
• How do you deal with common roadblocks that interfere with your ability to enjoy performing oral sex, like boredom or discomfort?
• What are some new positions or approaches that can elevate oral experiences?
• What should you do if oral sex feels like it has become a duty or obligation instead of something you love doing?
• What are the key factors that make oral sex great?

To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Oral Sex Mastery course.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept

Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Historically, medical research has done a disservice to women. In fact, for many years, scientists only studied men, assuming that all effects would generalize to women. But we now know that’s not true. In today’s show, we’re talking about how we can improve the state of science on women’s health, and how that begins with having a fuller understanding of the hormone shifts that occur during the menstrual cycle and how they affect women’s brains and bodies.

I am joined once again by Dr. Sarah Hill, the author of This is Your Brain on Birth Control. She has spent most of her 20+ year career studying women, relationships, and health. Her latest book is titled The Period Brain: The New Science of Why We PMS and How To Fix It.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• What’s the problem with one-size-fits-all medical advice?
• How does the concept of PMS pathologize natural things that happen to women’s bodies?
• What’s the problem with using the male body as the “standard” in scientific research?
• What’s wrong with the way scientists typically treat the menstrual cycle in studies of women?
• How can we do research that actually serves women?

You can check our Sarah’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It is well-known that PMS symptoms can deeply affect how women are feeling, including their mood, pain, and energy levels. But why exactly does this happen? Today, we’re going to dive into the science of sex hormones and the menstrual cycle, including how hormone levels affect women’s sexual motivation and tips for navigating sex at different phases of the cycle.

I am joined by Dr. Sarah Hill, the author of This is Your Brain on Birth Control. She has spent most of her 20+ year career studying women, relationships, and health. Her latest book is titled The Period Brain: The New Science of Why We PMS and How To Fix It.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• What’s the deal with PMS? Why did women evolve to feel like crap for half of the menstrual cycle?
• How do the rise and fall of different hormones during the cycle affect women’s brains?
• Progesterone is a hormone that’s supposed to make us feel good. So why doesn’t it have that effect during the second half of the menstrual cycle?
• How do estrogen and progesterone affect sexual motivation and desire?

You can check our Sarah’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept

Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Holistic sexuality involves having a deep enough level of self-understanding that you can make choices that are aligned with your core needs and feel empowered to live out those choices in your own life. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about harnessing holistic sexuality in order to lead a more pleasure-filled life and be more in tune with our desires.

I’m joined once again by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor. In addition to running a successful virtual private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known sex expert whose work has appeared all over in the media. Her latest book is A New Position on Sex: A Guide to Greater Sexual Confidence, Pleasure, and Authenticity.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• How can we have a healthier relationship with our own sexual pleasure?
• How do we make pleasure a priority in everyday life?
• What are some practical ways to reawaken sexual desire?
• How can we begin to identify what we really do and don’t want when it comes to sex?
• How can we get better at both saying “no” and hearing “no” in the bedroom?

You can visit Juliana’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025.

If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Who are you as a sexual person? In today’s show, we’re going to help you answer this question by introducing you to the concept of holistic sexuality, which is different from the way that most of us have been taught to think about sex. We’re going to dive into some of the key facets of holistic sexuality that are crucial to know for both self-understanding and for building up your sexual agency.

I’m joined by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor. In addition to running a successful virtual private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known sex expert whose work has appeared all over in the media. Her latest book is A New Position on Sex: A Guide to Greater Sexual Confidence, Pleasure, and Authenticity.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• What are the benefits of looking at sex more holistically?
• Why is the idea of “sensuality” so crucial to our sexuality?
• How do we begin to awake our sensuality to learn more about our own sexual style?
• What is the importance of really understanding our own bodies when it comes to enhancing sexual wellbeing?
• What are some ways to get more comfortable with our own bodies?

You can visit Juliana’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept

If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people think that sex is just easy for men. But it’s not. A heck of a lot of guys are walking around with sexual anxiety and are worried about their body and/or performance. This can eat away at men’s confidence, leading them to avoid sex, or to have sex that’s less than pleasurable. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to build confidence in the bedroom and bust some common myths about male sexuality.

I’m joined once again by Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, a board-certified urologist who is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine. He is a Sexual Health Advisor to Astroglide Lubricants, and one of the co-founders of the sexual wellness brand Popstar, which creates science-backed products to support male sexual health and pleasure.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• What does it really men to be “sexually confident?”
• How do popular myths about male sexuality inhibit men’s confidence in the bedroom?
• Is more testosterone really the key to more confidence?
• What can men do if they want to increase their sexual stamina?
• When should you see a professional about sexual performance concerns?

You can visit Joshua’s website to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.