What happens when people decide to share their sexual fantasies? How does it usually go? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how many people have ever shared their fantasies with a partner before, the five most common reasons that people decide to open up about them, as well as how partners usually react to fantasy disclosure.

I am joined by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmingham City University. He researches sexual fantasies and also leads the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• Is it common for people to share their fantasies with their partners?
• What is the most common reason for sharing a sexual fantasy?
• Why do some people choose to keep their fantasies secret?
• Do partners typically respond positively or negatively when fantasies are shared?
• When is sharing your fantasies a good idea?

You can check out the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab’s website to learn more about Matthew’s work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Long-term partners often find themselves having the same fight over and over again. This repetitive, unproductive conflict is known as a negative cycle–and it can ultimately be very damaging to the relationship. So in today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to identify negative cycles in your own relationship, and how to break the pattern.

My guest is Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. Julie’s latest book is titled Secure Love: Create a Relationship that Lasts a Lifetime.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• How do you know when an argument you’re having with a partner is reflective of a larger negative cycle?
• What are some ways to use vulnerability to break out of a negative cycle?
• What does co-regulation look like for couples trying to resolve an argument?
• What are the most common traps that lead to negative cycles in the first place?
• How can couples repair their relationship if a negative cycle sneaks in?

You can visit Julie’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Oral sex is one of the most popular bedroom activities. However, while most people say that it can be highly pleasurable, it doesn’t always feels great. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to make oral sex better. Specifically, we’ll explore tips and techniques from the Pleasure Mechanics for being both a good giver and receiver, including what to do if you find yourself getting bored giving oral sex.

I am joined by Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• Why is the idea that there’s just one perfect “recipe” for oral sex a myth?
• How do you deal with common roadblocks that interfere with your ability to enjoy performing oral sex, like boredom or discomfort?
• What are some new positions or approaches that can elevate oral experiences?
• What should you do if oral sex feels like it has become a duty or obligation instead of something you love doing?
• What are the key factors that make oral sex great?

To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Oral Sex Mastery course.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.