This week, I'm sharing why generous effort can still miss the mark and how a simple meaning check turns intention into real connection. Practical scripts, everyday examples, and a clear path to feel loved without guesswork.

• early chemistry fading into real differences
• clashing stories and nervous system triggers
• feeling unloved versus being unloved
• problem solving versus emotional presence
• love as subjective; unique blueprints
• five love languages as a starting point
• the meaning check skill and script
• starting small and scaling to bigger topics
• appreciation to reinforce what works
• monthly reset to review what lands

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In this interview with Dana Che, we break the myth that happy couples don’t fight and show how conflict, handled well, can deepen intimacy. We share mindset shifts, practical language, and simple steps to move from defensiveness to understanding.

• redefining conflict as a growth path
• the costs of avoidance and silent treatment
• modern marriage and renegotiating roles
• separating facts from feelings and stories
• understanding over agreement as the goal
• curiosity and vulnerability as a creation formula
• practical I statements and safer starts
• building trust to share real fears
• how to be genuinely curious, not performative
• scripts and next steps for tough talks

Check out Dana's new book here: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, https://TriedAndTrueMarriageBook.com

If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to share it with a friend and join the conversation on Instagram.

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Today, I'm talking about how boundaries are a loving skill that prevents resentment and creates safety, respect, and passion. Clear, simple steps show how to set limits without threats, using everyday examples and a weekly challenge to practice.

• emotional regulation steps that precede boundary setting
• common end-of-life regrets linked to people pleasing
• redefining boundaries as self-care rather than control
• how resentment replaces intimacy without clear limits
• the mesh analogy: connected and protected
• the sock example as a practical boundary script
• structure: if or when X, I will Y
• choosing action over explanation to reduce conflict
• setting boundaries for tone, volume, and time protection
• weekly challenge to pick one recurring frustration

If this episode was helpful for you, I would love if you would share it with a friend or a coworker or a loved one, somebody that you feel like could benefit from these relational skills.

Let me know what healthy boundaries you are setting this week. If you have questions about healthy boundaries, email me at: moni@monicatanner.com.

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This episode speaks directly to one of the most exhausting parts of being in a relationship: realizing you can’t control your partner and wondering what that means for you.

For a lot of people, that realization feels defeating. Like your hands are tied. Like you’re stuck waiting or reacting or hoping things improve.

This week I talk about why not being able to control your partner does not mean you are powerless. In fact, your real influence in a relationship has very little to do with managing or controlling other people and how you manage yourself, which is the real flex. I also mention:

• the regret of managing others instead of living authentically
• what you can control versus what you can only influence
• common control tactics that backfire in relationships
• regulation over reactivity to build safety and trust
• the three-step power move: pause, name, choose
• my real-life gym moment from this morning
• aligning responses with values and intentions

Go to https://monicatanner.com/call and let's see if you're a good fit for one of my remaining time slots.

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I'm setting a bold focus for this new season: choose who we will be in hard moments and build relationships with no regrets. I share five common end-of-life regrets, turn them into learnable skills, and give you a clear assignment to craft one specific intention for the year.

• the five most common relationship regrets are: silence, absence, guarded love, inauthenticity, unrepaired ruptures
• skills for honest expression with loving power
• rituals for presence and attention
• vulnerability as a trainable skill
• authenticity with empathy over people-pleasing
• relationship cycles: harmony, disharmony, repair
• spotting losing strategies like withdrawal, defensiveness, perfectionism
• writing one specific, behavioral intention for hard moments
• commit to practice and celebrate reps, not perfection

So if you feel like this is your year to really start working on your relationships, then I would encourage you to go to https://monicatanner.com/call and book a complimentary, no obligation, 30-minute relationship breakthrough to see if this would be a good time to start working together.

Send me an email, drop me a line on social, let me know what is your intention for this year.

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A great massage shouldn’t end with a mad dash to the shower. This week, I'm talking with Justin and Natalie Weeks, the creators of Evree, to share how a single sticky night pushed them into a six-year journey across labs, ingredients, and countless iterations to build a truly different kind of product: a natural massage cream that melts at body temperature, glides like a dream, doubles as a safe intimate lubricant, and leaves skin soft instead of slick.

We dig into why massage oils and lubricants are usually kept separate and why that causes real problems for couples. Many oils aren’t vaginally safe and can trigger irritation, while a lot of lubes feel clinical and messy when used for full-body touch. Justin and Natalie explain how they insisted on 100% natural ingredients, no sugars, and subtle flavors like coconut lime and pineapple orange that smell like the real thing. The whipped, spa-like texture avoids the drip-and-spill of pumps, and the clean finish means you can roll over and nap instead of stripping the bed.

I also share my own skeptic-to-believer moment: after trying Evree at home, the texture, the scent, and the non-sticky massage cream won me and my lotion-averse husband over. We talk about the emotional impact too: when mess and smell stop being barriers, couples say yes more often to touch, play, and intimacy. Evree’s discreet jar looks at home on a nightstand, travels easily at 3.4 ounces, and a little goes a long way, with most people repurchasing every three to four months.

If you care about natural ingredients, skin nourishment, and a stress-free path from massage to closeness, this conversation will change the game when it comes to intimacy and connection.

Get a 10% off discount at http://www.evreesensation.com/moni. Watch for holiday deals, and share this episode with a friend who’s ready to bring back playful, sensual, and pleasurable touch.

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We explore how prolonged stress can turn small cracks into deep canyons and how couples can explore those canyons together with empathy, curiosity, and clear practices. Tony shares tools for moving from emotional reactions to intentional responses and offers a hopeful path to deeper intimacy.

• defining prolonged stress and why it magnifies small issues
• emotional intensity scale and spotting old wounds in new conflicts
• switching from reaction to response with inner child work
• grace as empathy plus curiosity in daily moments
• cooperation over compromise and playing on the same team
• disciplines as guardrails for intimacy and calm
• seasonal family vision and renegotiating roles
• code words, listening without fixing, and safe processing
• finding gifts on the other side of wounds
• process goals that keep commitment alive

You can pick up the book on Amazon.com or on, wisdominthewoundbook.com. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend or leave a review.

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Today, we're talking about how Christian couples can build deeper intimacy by turning awkward silence into simple, safe conversations. Nick and Amy McKinlay of Ultimate Intimacy share research-backed prompts, healthy masculinity traits, and ways to navigate power dynamics when desire is mismatched.

• why communication is the core of sexual intimacy
• how curiosity and vulnerability create safety
• traits of healthy masculinity women find attractive
• using prompts, card decks and the app to start talks
• handling mismatched desire and power dynamics
• finding the why behind resistance before the how
• setting loving boundaries when one partner avoids
• turning team mindset into daily connection
• practical steps couples can implement today

Find the book, Let's Talk About Sex at shop.ultimateintimacy.com. You can download the app and access additional resources at ultimateintimacy.com or your app store.

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