In this episode, our guests are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and they share their profound journey through Johnny's sex addiction and its impact on their marriage. Johnny opens up about his early exposure to pornography, his secret struggles, and the eventual escalation to extramarital affairs.

Emily shares her perspective, detailing the confusion and pain she experienced, as well as her unwavering faith in their marriage’s potential for healing. Together, they discuss their path to recovery, the importance of honesty, and their mission to help others through their podcast, "Beyond Broken Vows." Their story is a powerful testament to redemption and hope.

If you are in a marriage that has experienced infidelity or other kinds of sexual betrayal, this episode will help you discover hope and insights for healing and restoration.

For more information about Johnny and Emily and their ministry, visit BeyondBrokenVows.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• The impact of early exposure to pornography on personal development.
• The struggles and consequences of sex addiction within a marriage.
• The dynamics of anger and emotional turmoil in relationships.
• The process of deception and gaslighting in the context of addiction.
• The journey of healing and recovery from infidelity.
• The importance of open communication and honesty in rebuilding trust.
• The role of faith and spirituality in overcoming personal challenges.
• The significance of support networks and community in recovery.
• The decision to share personal stories to help others facing similar issues.
• The transformation of a relationship through vulnerability and shared experiences.

More Resources:

• Beyond Broken Vows Podcast
• Recovery Coaching with Johnny and Emily
• DisclosureHope.com

Related Podcasts:

• Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
• Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal
• How Can Therapeutic Disclosure Help Heal Marriages Affected by Sexual Betrayal

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In this episode, I chat with Bret Marshall about his incredible journey of faith and personal transformation. Bret opens up about his struggles with emotional expression and sexual sin, and how these challenges impacted his relationships, especially with his wife, Tena. He shares the pivotal moments that led to his healing, including a transformative intensive experience through a past partnership between Be Broken and the Navigators ministry organization. Bret highlights the ABC’s of emotional health: Acceptance, Belonging, and Connection.

Bret also emphasizes the need for personal vulnerability, authentic connections, and creating safe spaces for men to share their full stories. His own story is an incredible reminder of the transformative power of God’s presence in our lives.

Learn more about Bret on his YouTube channel: @whylivetoday.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Bret Marshall's journey of faith and personal transformation.
• The significance of being known and sharing personal stories.
• Challenges faced in relationships, particularly with a spouse.
• The importance of creating safe environments for men to share their experiences.
• Emotional suppression and its impact on personal well-being.
• The role of communication in fostering intimacy and connection in relationships.
• The necessity of vulnerability and honesty in personal and spiritual growth.
• Building supportive relationships with mentors and peers for spiritual development.
• Encouragement for those struggling with hidden aspects of their lives to seek help and support.

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for Men
• Mere Christianity* by C.S. Lewis
• Find a Group

Related Podcasts:

• The Story of 3 Men
• Understanding 4 Key Roles in Your Story
• Mr Unemotional: Moving from Isolation to Connection

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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In this episode, I am thrilled to welcome Dr. Steve Call, a clinical psychologist and co-author with Dr. Dan Allender of The Deep Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight*. We dive into the book's themes, focusing on how past traumas influence present marital conflicts and how to grow in emotional understanding and intimacy. Dr. Call shares his personal marriage journey, emphasizing the importance of awareness and curiosity in relationships.

We discuss practical steps for couples to cultivate awareness, the role of play in healing, and strategies for managing triggers. Dr. Call offers hope and resources for couples to nourish their relationships.

To learn more about Dr. Call’s resources and to get the book, visit TheReconnectInstitute.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Discussion of the book "The Deep Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight.*"
• Exploration of how past experiences and traumas influence current marital conflicts.
• Importance of cultivating awareness and curiosity in relationships.
• The role of intensive counseling formats in addressing deep-rooted issues.
• Strategies for couples to develop awareness during conflicts.
• The significance of play in fostering connection and healing in marriage.
• Addressing triggers and shame in relationships, particularly during recovery.
• Practical strategies for emotional regulation and self-care during challenging moments.
• The metaphor of soil amendments to illustrate the need for nurturing relationships.
• Resources and support for couples seeking to deepen their connection and navigate challenges.

More Resources:

• The Deep-Rooted Marriage* by Allender and Call
• Marriage Story Intensive
• Reconnect* by Dr. Steve Call

Related Podcasts:

• 6 Hours that will Transform Your Marriage
• Working Through Emotional Disconnection in Marriage
• Growing a Stronger Marriage Even When it's Difficult

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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In this episode, Dr. Stephen Cervantes and I dive into the emotional impact of failure. We both express how deeply we hate failing, describing how it triggers feelings of rejection, isolation, and shame. We explore the importance of reframing failure, emphasizing that God's love still remains constant despite our setbacks. His grace abounds!

We suggest that solitude can be a sanctuary for self-reflection and growth, encouraging you to create a “holy space” for healing. We ultimately want to offer you a compassionate perspective on failure, encouraging gentleness toward yourself and confidence in the transformative power of God's unwavering love.

We start the episode by saying, “I hate failing.” We end it with, “But God likes me and so do I.”

For daily thoughts from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• The emotional impact of failure on individuals.
• Feelings of rejection, isolation, and shame associated with failure.
• The cycle of shame and loneliness stemming from failure.
• The importance of self-acceptance and kindness in overcoming failure.
• The role of community and support in addressing feelings of inadequacy.
• Generational patterns of failure and their effects on identity.
• The concept of solitude as a sanctuary for self-reflection and growth.
• The relationship between identity, self-worth, and external validation.
• The nature of God's love in relation to failure and self-acceptance.
• Strategies for reframing failure as a part of the human experience rather than a defining characteristic.

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for Men
• Grace-Based Transformation* by Jonathan Daugherty
• 40 Days of Purity for Men online course

Related Podcasts:

• Understanding Failure in Recovery
• What's Your Failure and Rejection Management Plan
• How to Be at Peace in Aloneness

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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In this episode, we dive into the dynamics of "loners" and "connectors" in relationships. Everyone falls into one of these categories. As we explore this topic, my friend and co-host Stephen Cervantes discusses how loners tend to be independent and process internally, while connectors thrive on dialogue and emotional exchange. We examine how these differences impact communication and emotional connection, particularly in marriages.

We share insights on personal growth, emphasizing the importance of understanding and appreciating each other's communication styles; we aren’t out to change a loner into a connector or vice versa. We give lots of personal anecdotes and practical advice, aiming to help you navigate these differences to foster deeper connections and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

For daily thoughts from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

To read the Thought on Loners and Connectors, go to DoctorMarriage.org/loners-and-connectors.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Distinction between "loners" and "connectors" in personal relationships.
• Characteristics of loners: independence, introspection, and internal processing.
• Characteristics of connectors: relational, expressive, and dialogue-oriented.
• Impact of communication styles on relationships, particularly in marriage.
• Importance of emotional connection and its role in relationship dynamics.
• Challenges faced by loners in engaging with emotional exchanges.
• The necessity of active listening in fostering trust and connection.
• Strategies for navigating differences between loners and connectors.
• The role of personal growth in improving relationship dynamics.
• Encouragement for couples to discuss and understand their connection styles for deeper intimacy.

More Resources:

• 40 Days to Oneness by Stephen Cervantes
• The 40 Day Relationship Builder* by Stephen Cervantes
• Building True Intimacy* by Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith

Related Podcasts:

• Dealing with Conflict Podcast Bundle
• Working Through Emotional Disconnection in Marriage
• About Your Emotional Connecting Skills

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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In this episode, we invite back our friends and counselors, Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, to talk about the crucial role of boundaries in restoring marriages after betrayal, particularly sexual infidelity. Matthew shares insights from the perspective of the betraying spouse, emphasizing self-reflection and accountability, while Joanna offers guidance for the betrayed spouse on navigating emotions and setting personal boundaries.

We delve into defining boundaries as supportive frameworks rather than punishing limitations, avoiding misuse of boundaries for control, and harmonizing them to foster safety and mutual respect. The Raabsmiths highlight the importance of individual responsibility and how boundaries can create a safe space for healing and rebuilding trust.

To download the Raabsmith’s free Honest Connection Guide, visit RenewingUs.com/puresexradio.

Click here for the Raabsmith's full bios

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Importance of boundaries in marriage restoration after betrayal
• Definition and positive framing of boundaries in relationships
• Distinction between healthy boundaries and manipulative or controlling behaviors
• Role of individual responsibility in setting and maintaining boundaries
• Challenges faced by the betrayed spouse in establishing boundaries
• The necessity for the betraying spouse to take accountability and establish their own boundaries
• Navigating fear and emotional responses related to boundary setting
• Strategies for harmonizing boundaries to support both partners and the relationship
• Addressing boundary violations and the importance of introspection
• Establishing new habits and structures to support healthy boundaries in the relationship

More Resources:

• Building True Intimacy* by Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith
• Renewing Us Recovery
• Renewing Us Couples Retreat

Related Podcasts:

• Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
• The Need for Boundaries After Betrayal
• Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Betrayal

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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In this episode, I chat with author and blogger Sarah Matzke, who bravely shares her journey through struggles with body image, an eating disorder, and marital challenges, including infidelity.

Sarah opens up about her upbringing, the pressures she faced, and the lies she believed about her worth. She recounts the painful yet transformative process of rebuilding trust with her husband, JP, and how her faith in Christ played a crucial role in their healing. Sarah's story is a powerful testament to the importance of vulnerability, honesty, and the grace of God in overcoming life's toughest obstacles.

To learn more about Sarah and get a copy of her book, visit SarahJeanMatzke.com.

Topics Covered in the Episode:

• Personal struggles with body image and eating disorders
• Impact of societal pressures and familial expectations on self-worth
• Challenges faced in marriage, including infidelity
• The process of rebuilding trust after betrayal
• Importance of open communication and transparency in relationships
• Role of faith and spirituality in healing and restoration
• Seeking professional help and therapy for personal issues
• The significance of accountability and honesty in relationships
• The journey of self-discovery and confronting personal lies
• Sharing personal stories as a means of hope and encouragement for others

More Resources:

• Desert Vineyards: A Story of Bulimia, Adultery, and Infertility Redeemed by Truth* by Sarah Matzke
• The Body Revelation* by Keeton and Connolly

Related Podcasts:

• Understanding Female Sexuality and Struggles
• Confession and Disclosure for Couples
• Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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In this episode, I have back on the program Carl Thomas to dig into the recovery journey from pornography and sexual addiction. Carl shares his personal story and emphasizes the importance of community and addressing mental and emotional health.

We discuss how recovery goes beyond just stopping harmful behaviors or behavioral sobriety and involves understanding and healing deeper emotional wounds. Carl highlights the stigma around mental health and the need for a holistic approach to recovery. He also provides resources for those seeking support. This episode aims to offer hope and guidance to anyone navigating similar challenges or interested in the recovery process.

To learn more about Carl and the Live Free Ministries resources, visit LiveFreeCommunity.org.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Recovery from pornography and sexual addiction
• Importance of community in the recovery process
• Personal journey and background of the speaker
• Holistic approach to mental and emotional health in recovery
• Addressing underlying emotional and mental health issues
• The stigma surrounding mental health and seeking help
• The interconnectedness of various aspects of life in recovery
• Coping mechanisms and their relation to addiction
• Encouragement for ongoing growth and development in recovery
• Resources and support available for individuals seeking recovery

More Resources:

• XXXChurch.com
• Gateway to Freedom 3-day Intensive for Men
• Grace-Based Recovery Online Study Groups

Related Podcasts:

• The Power of Community
• When Shame Gets Real
• Real Stories of Recovery and Hope

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