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Episode 695: From Threesomes to Non-Monogamy: One Man's Journey Beyond Jealousy and Shame with author Adam Darrow about his edgy, honest, and raw memoir "Seek the Risk" (affiliate link) https://amzn.to/3KrboVR

When Adam Darrow met Jane at forty, he thought he was the adventurous one. After all, he'd spent his twenties competing in extreme sports and had explored threesomes—that made him pretty edgy, right? Then Jane, a PhD psychologist who spoke five languages, told him she didn't do boyfriends (and she meant it). Drawing from his background in extreme sports, Darrow spent two and a half years transitioning into non-monogamy, followed by three challenging years of emotional work before finding equilibrium.

The journey wasn't easy. When Jane publicly announced their arrangement on Facebook in 2009, Darrow watched his life wildly transform. His best friend called him derogatory names. But over time, he discovered something unexpected: jealousy could be channeled into motivation to become a better partner. What initially felt emasculating became an opportunity to overcome deep-seated insecurities like imposter syndrome and validation-seeking.

His memoir chronicles this transformative experience through vulnerable storytelling that includes explicit extreme sexual details and uncomfortable emotional truths, as well as healing and growth. How did keeping emotions bottled up nearly break him? The book explores that question while advocating for moving beyond societal shame around sexuality, relationship conformity, and focusing on personal authenticity rather than rigid beliefs about relationships.

Estimated Timeline: Adam Darrow's Journey Into Non-Monogamy
00:03:40 - PhD Psychologist with Unconventional Past
00:06:43 - Extreme Sports Skills Applied to Non-Monogamy
00:09:13 - Separating Sex from Emotion in Relationships
00:19:57 - Managing Jealousy Through Don't Ask, Don't Tell
00:22:26 - From Jealousy to Compersion in Open Relationships
00:25:11 - Breaking Through Shame and Choosing Each Other
00:28:42 - Walking the Beach: Questioning My Limits, book excerpt
00:33:17 - Understanding Nesting Couples and Non-Monogamy
00:39:43 - Letting Go of Control in Relationships
00:46:22 - Vulnerability and Authenticity in Memoir Writing
00:51:51 - Writing the Book and Her Reaction
00:58:17 - Identity Beyond Sexual Acts, sexuality
01:06:44 - Overcoming Jealousy Through Personal Growth
01:11:27 - Healthy vs Unhealthy Jealousy in Relationships

Connect with Adam Darrow:

• Link to the books website www.seektherisk.net
• Substack seektherisk.subst

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$0.99 books https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/ninetyninecentsbookssales

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Episode 693: Ruan does erotic fiction improv, spinning a sexy spicy hot story right off the top of her head roleplaying, getting into playing the character of Maria, a new hotwife. Maria is the new hotwife that Harry, her Daddy Dom has gotten her interested in being. Once Maria agrees to trying out the free-use hotwife role, Daddy sets up a party with all of his friends. Maria is very excited and slips on the sheer pink lingerie dress Daddy picked out for her. As she says, "It's like swiss cheese!" There's a perfectly delicious reason for this! Daddy gets a pre-party treat from Maria's mouth. Maria explores her humiliation and free use kinks. Pleasure abounds! But in the end, it's Daddy's turn to reclaim his sub and make her 'his sub' again. Oh the sheer luscious deliciousness!

Enjoy this power exchange Dom/sub hotwife story I created right off the top of my head... it's erotic improv sex scene time again--so all you grammar police take a hike! This was live narration and damn did I have fun! Spicy fiction to heat up your ears in a flash! Ge your wife sharing fetish met, kinky vibes! A friends with benefits story, free use party style!

Black Friday to Cyber Monday sale on Ruan's site! Get ebooks, signed paperbacks, and audiobooks for 50% OFF! Sale runs from 11/25/25 to 12/2/25 https://payhip.com/RuanWillowBooks

$0.99 cents ebooks on sale https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/ninetyninecentsbookssales

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Episode 692: People pleasers and all people listen up!
Surprisingly, boundaries don't push people away, they actually strengthen connection. Dr. Alison Ash returns to unpack sexual boundaries, especially for those who struggle to say no.

Boundaries aren't just about your values; they're about your capacity, the fluctuating energy and resources available to you based on sleep, stress, and nervous system regulation. When you're dysregulated and operating outside your window of tolerance, you become reactive and frustrated. (Most of us consistently overestimate what we can handle.)

Dr. Aly shares a practical three-part formula for setting boundaries that helps others feel heard rather than rejected.

Key Takeaways:

• Boundaries aren't selfish, they're based on your actual capacity, which fluctuates daily based on sleep, stress, and nervous system regulation, making them a realistic necessity rather than a character flaw.

• The "window of tolerance" explains why you get reactive. When dysregulated, you become irritable and struggle to enforce boundaries, so managing your nervous system is as important as stating your limits.

• Healthy boundaries actually filter out unhealthy relationships, meaning people who respect your "no" strengthen the relationship, while those who don't reveal incompatibility, not rejection of them as people.

Discussion topics;

• Sexuality, sexual health, sexual wellness, relationships, mental health
• Understanding Your Capacity and Setting/maintaining Healthy Boundaries without guilt and while maintaining connection
• Feeling Safe Saying No Builds Trust
• Understanding Trauma and Nervous System Dysregulation
• Managing Trauma Response Through Nervous System Care
• Communication and Pacing in Exploring Kink
• Substance Use and Consent in Sexual Exploration
• Learning From Past Experiences and Building Intimacy Skills
• Sex Gets Better With Age and Confidence

Connect with Dr. Aly:

Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills online course on Tues, Jan 27th-Mar 17th

We all receive messages about who we are supposed to be, how we ought to feel, and how we should express ourselves, often enforced through shame and disconnection. Featuring 8 classes with a woven balance of science-based data, embodied exploration, and skills development designed to support you in creating, deepening, and sustaining sexual and emotional intimacy in your relationship(s). Recordings available for those who can't attend live or want extra review. Super early bird tickets available now for $200-$400 off!

Last but not least, reach out to Dr. Aly for individual, couples, and ENM coaching support!
http://www.turnon.love/

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Ep 690: MFF Waking to His Alarm Cock, The Bed Scene, written by podcast host, and author, Ruan Willow, narrated by Ruan Willow and Motorboatin' Matt, an erotica excerpt from a hot short story.

Waking to His Alarm Cock, A FFM Erotic Story. One night, Zane, his high school sweetheart Maria, and Lissa fall into bed together and fall asleep after hot threesome sex. That event launched them into a sexy triad and no one wants it to end. In fact, they wanted it to strengthen. The problem is, they'd need to hide their relationship from their daughter and the elementary school because Lissa is a kindergarten teacher there, and their daughter's teacher. They wake up when Zane's morning wood announces that it's time to have sex again. Who needs an alarm clock when he's got an alarm cock? Lissa starts it off and the three fall into a lust-filled, and very hotly satisfying morning. Enjoy this short fiction story of erotic fiction, erotic romance, and group fun! Sexuality at it's best, a threeway love fest!

Read how this throuple met in the excerpt in the anthology, The Best Bi Erotica of the Year, Volume 2 https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/thebestbieroticaoftheyear

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Ep 689: Dive into the world of hot spicy monster romance with Ruan Willow and special guest Cassandra Medcalf, a talented author and audiobook narrator. In this episode, they explore the intricacies of writing romance, the allure of monsters, and the creative process behind bringing characters to life. Cassandra reads an excerpt from "The Kraken's Castaway".

Her book is a cozy yet steamy monster romance that intertwines with Greek mythology and explores themes of love, vulnerability, and acceptance.

Discover how Cassandra's characters navigate the challenges of their unique worlds in "Milking with the Minotaur", including a human mother and her Minotaur son, and how their intertwined fates lead to unexpected connections.

Ruan and Cassandra discuss the importance of representation in romance, the evolution of indie publishing, and the joy of creating stories that resonate with readers.

This episode highlights the beauty of storytelling and the importance of community in the creative process. Whether you're a fan of romance, fantasy, or simply love a good story, listen and enjoy!

Key Highlights:
• Cassandra's journey as a romance author and audiobook narrator
• Insights into the world of monster romance and its appeal
• The creative process behind "Milking with a Minotaur" and its connection to Greek mythology
• The importance of representation and diversity in storytelling
• The evolving landscape of indie publishing and the power of community
**Want to support Cassandra's Kickstarter for Milking with a Minotaur?** Check out the link below for more information!

Estimated Timeline:
00:00:00 - Welcome and Introduction
00:01:45 - Meet Cassandra Metcalfe
00:04:30 - Excerpt Reading from "The Kraken 's Castaway"

00:10:15 - The Appeal of Monster Romance
00:15:00 - Writing and Narrating: A Dual Journey
00:20:00 - Representation in Romance
00:25:00 - Indie Publishing Insights
00:30:00 - Closing Thoughts and Support Links
Connect with Cassandra: http://cassandramedcalf.com/
Kickstarter: Milking with a Minotaur

Topics:

• Narration
• Indie Authors
• Writing Process
• Character Development
• Romance Tropes
• Spicy Storytelling
• Creative Community
• Kickstarter
• Sexual Expression
• Monster Romance

Books:

(affiliate links)

The Kraken's Castaway https://amzn.to/3M2BD5i

Bride of the Kraken: An MFFM Dark Monster Romance https://amzn.to/4oFRpSj

Milking the Minotaur, coming soon!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/892606232/milking-with-the-minotaur-a-minotaur-romance-prequel?ref=bf2nxu

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Ep 687: Tune in for a fantasy immersion experience...
Fantasies are yours alone, and that's exactly how they should be. Explore the deeply personal nature of our inner worlds in this episode, reminding us that what happens in our imagination requires no permission from anyone. Ruan makes it clear that fantasies—even unconventional or dark ones—are harmless mental experiences that belong entirely to you.

Throughout the episode, Willow emphasizes pleasure as a birthright. (Because really, who gets to decide what brings you joy?) She guides listeners to resist shame and guilt, recognizing that these mental scenarios can be revisited, changed, or completely abandoned whenever you choose. But here's the key distinction she draws: while fantasies need no consent, real-life activities absolutely do.

How often do we forget that our imagination can be a legitimate form of self care? The episode frames mental pleasure-seeking as both valid relaxation and personal wellness. Willow encourages embracing what feels good without judgment, essentially giving permission to explore your own mind freely. It's about claiming your inner space, about recognizing that your thoughts are truly your own domain.

**Ready to reclaim your imagination?** Tune in to discover why your fantasy life deserves zero apologies and why you deserve emotional release that celebrates your self worth.

Estimated Timeline:

00:00:00 - Welcome to Ruan Willow Podcast
00:02:08 - Relaxation and Fantasy Preparation Guide
00:03:41 - Creating Intimate Fantasy and Connection
00:05:06 - Intimate Physical Connection and Arousal
00:07:36 - Intimate Sensory Experience and Fantasy
00:08:41 - Intimate Physical Connection, intimacy, sexuality
00:10:21 - Multiple Orgasms and Pleasure Building
00:11:33 - Using Pleasure Toys Together
00:12:42 - Fantasies, Pleasure, and Consent
00:14:48 - Embrace Your Right to Daily Pleasure
00:15:21 - Pleasure is Your Birthright, self help and relationships

Beach House Views on Theo Reads: https://www.theoreads.com/story/71ba59ce-badd-4472-90af-b2d324c6a332/view

Preorder: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/beachhouseviewsbook

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Ep 686: You've heard about taking hormones, the dangers, the nice juicy bump to libido, but what it there's more to it than just that? Should You Take Testosterone or Estrogen? Find out from Dr Nayan Patel, a clinical pharmacist, & educator.

Is it bad to take hormones? Beyond Bad Hormones: Why Bioidentical Therapy and Lifestyle Matter More Than You Think for not only libido and healthy sex organs, but brain health, heart health, AND for bone health. Sounds like the fountain of youth for healthy, happy longevity. What if it's a piece of the puzzle?

What if the pharmaceutical industry's lack of profit incentive has left a massive gap in modern wellness?

Dr. Nayan Patel, author of "The Glutathione Revolution," reveals why hormone replacement therapy got such a bad reputation in the first place. (Spoiler: it's all about synthetic versus bioidentical hormones.) Here's the thing—early hormone studies showed adverse effects in only two percent of participants, but pharmaceutical companies never bothered studying bioidentical human hormones because the profit potential was too limited. That decision continues to impact millions of people today.

Dr. Patel, "The bulk of the solution is in your own hand."

Interestingly, Dr. Patel breaks down hormone health using a pyramid model where *stress management* accounts for 40% of solutions, diet and insulin management comprises 30%, thyroid function 10%, and sex hormones only 10%. Most practitioners miss the fundamental issues at the pyramid's foundation, focusing instead on prescribing hormones without addressing underlying stress and dietary behaviors. In fact, a nine-year French study of 3,100 women demonstrated that balanced hormone replacement therapy can reduce breast cancer risk below that of women with no risk factors.

As we've doubled our lifespan beyond our biological design for procreation, proper hormonal health becomes essential to enjoying this extended life.

Key Takeaways:

• **The hormone crisis wasn't about hormones themselves, but outdated synthetic formulations** — poor HRT outcomes stemmed from non-bioidentical hormones, not inherent hormone harm, making modern bioidentical approaches fundamentally different

• **Hormones rank lower than lifestyle factors in treatment hierarchy** — stress management and nutrition are more foundational to health than hormone supplementation, making them the true priorities

• **Hormonal optimization requires holistic integration, not just prescriptions** — effective treatment demands individualized approaches combining emotional connection, gratitude practices, and self-care alongside any hormonal intervention

Connect with Dr. Patel:

http://aurowellness.com/

Book: The Glutathione Revolution (affiliate link) https://amzn.to/3LpgNgt

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Ep 684: Servicing the Handyman, A Leisurely Working Retiree, an erotic fiction excerpt from novella 4 in the Servicing the Work Men, My Filthy Hotwife Adventures.

Laney and John have had their marital ups and downs, but ever since they started to indulge in the hotwife way of life, their bedroom life has been set on fire. Both loving the spicy adventures they are embarking on; they are open to new experiences. Marvin is a leisurely working retiree who has done many small handyman jobs for them around the house. Laney's had her hungry eyes on him with a smoldering burning blaze of want that has grown steadfast over time. She can only hope that John will agree and set up the framework for a hot rendezvous.

When Marvin, the leisurely working retiree, arrives for his work for the day, Laney is enjoying a swim, in a bikini top only. Things escalate quickly when John sets the stage, but Laney is on her own for navigating her hook up with Marvin because John is eyeballs deep in work. That only fuels Laney's fire, and when she shows Marvin what needs to be worked on in their master bedroom closet, Laney takes what Marvin freely gives, which is both an orgasmic delight and learning experience for Laney. Maturity is sexy when it comes with so much experience that this silver fox blows Laney's peaks sky high. A few spicy and surprising adjuncts throw the fun into overdrive and Laney's world gets rocked like never before!

Enjoy this excerpt from novella 4 in the Servicing the Work Men, My Filthy Hotwife Adventures!

BOOKS!

Ebook: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/servicingthehandyman

Get the full novella in audiobook: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/servicingthehandymanaleisurelyworkingretireeaudiobook

Get the full novel of all five novellas: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/servicingtheworkmenherfilthyhotwifeadventures

Get the FULL NOVEL in audiobook: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/servicingtheworkmenherfilthyhotwifeadventuresaudiobook

A Hotwife alternative lifestyle erotic romance fiction story, age gap with a dominant male. Get the rest of the fiction entertainment series from erotica author Ruan Willow.

Plus, a bonus story Eat Me on My Birthday!

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