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Episode 695: From Threesomes to Non-Monogamy: One Man's Journey Beyond Jealousy and Shame with author Adam Darrow about his edgy, honest, and raw memoir "Seek the Risk" (affiliate link) https://amzn.to/3KrboVR

When Adam Darrow met Jane at forty, he thought he was the adventurous one. After all, he'd spent his twenties competing in extreme sports and had explored threesomes—that made him pretty edgy, right? Then Jane, a PhD psychologist who spoke five languages, told him she didn't do boyfriends (and she meant it). Drawing from his background in extreme sports, Darrow spent two and a half years transitioning into non-monogamy, followed by three challenging years of emotional work before finding equilibrium.

The journey wasn't easy. When Jane publicly announced their arrangement on Facebook in 2009, Darrow watched his life wildly transform. His best friend called him derogatory names. But over time, he discovered something unexpected: jealousy could be channeled into motivation to become a better partner. What initially felt emasculating became an opportunity to overcome deep-seated insecurities like imposter syndrome and validation-seeking.

His memoir chronicles this transformative experience through vulnerable storytelling that includes explicit extreme sexual details and uncomfortable emotional truths, as well as healing and growth. How did keeping emotions bottled up nearly break him? The book explores that question while advocating for moving beyond societal shame around sexuality, relationship conformity, and focusing on personal authenticity rather than rigid beliefs about relationships.

Estimated Timeline: Adam Darrow's Journey Into Non-Monogamy
00:03:40 - PhD Psychologist with Unconventional Past
00:06:43 - Extreme Sports Skills Applied to Non-Monogamy
00:09:13 - Separating Sex from Emotion in Relationships
00:19:57 - Managing Jealousy Through Don't Ask, Don't Tell
00:22:26 - From Jealousy to Compersion in Open Relationships
00:25:11 - Breaking Through Shame and Choosing Each Other
00:28:42 - Walking the Beach: Questioning My Limits, book excerpt
00:33:17 - Understanding Nesting Couples and Non-Monogamy
00:39:43 - Letting Go of Control in Relationships
00:46:22 - Vulnerability and Authenticity in Memoir Writing
00:51:51 - Writing the Book and Her Reaction
00:58:17 - Identity Beyond Sexual Acts, sexuality
01:06:44 - Overcoming Jealousy Through Personal Growth
01:11:27 - Healthy vs Unhealthy Jealousy in Relationships

Connect with Adam Darrow:

• Link to the books website www.seektherisk.net
• Substack seektherisk.subst

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Episode 693: Ruan does erotic fiction improv, spinning a sexy spicy hot story right off the top of her head roleplaying, getting into playing the character of Maria, a new hotwife. Maria is the new hotwife that Harry, her Daddy Dom has gotten her interested in being. Once Maria agrees to trying out the free-use hotwife role, Daddy sets up a party with all of his friends. Maria is very excited and slips on the sheer pink lingerie dress Daddy picked out for her. As she says, "It's like swiss cheese!" There's a perfectly delicious reason for this! Daddy gets a pre-party treat from Maria's mouth. Maria explores her humiliation and free use kinks. Pleasure abounds! But in the end, it's Daddy's turn to reclaim his sub and make her 'his sub' again. Oh the sheer luscious deliciousness!

Enjoy this power exchange Dom/sub hotwife story I created right off the top of my head... it's erotic improv sex scene time again--so all you grammar police take a hike! This was live narration and damn did I have fun! Spicy fiction to heat up your ears in a flash! Ge your wife sharing fetish met, kinky vibes! A friends with benefits story, free use party style!

Black Friday to Cyber Monday sale on Ruan's site! Get ebooks, signed paperbacks, and audiobooks for 50% OFF! Sale runs from 11/25/25 to 12/2/25 https://payhip.com/RuanWillowBooks

$0.99 cents ebooks on sale https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/ninetyninecentsbookssales

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Episode 692: People pleasers and all people listen up!
Surprisingly, boundaries don't push people away, they actually strengthen connection. Dr. Alison Ash returns to unpack sexual boundaries, especially for those who struggle to say no.

Boundaries aren't just about your values; they're about your capacity, the fluctuating energy and resources available to you based on sleep, stress, and nervous system regulation. When you're dysregulated and operating outside your window of tolerance, you become reactive and frustrated. (Most of us consistently overestimate what we can handle.)

Dr. Aly shares a practical three-part formula for setting boundaries that helps others feel heard rather than rejected.

Key Takeaways:

• Boundaries aren't selfish, they're based on your actual capacity, which fluctuates daily based on sleep, stress, and nervous system regulation, making them a realistic necessity rather than a character flaw.

• The "window of tolerance" explains why you get reactive. When dysregulated, you become irritable and struggle to enforce boundaries, so managing your nervous system is as important as stating your limits.

• Healthy boundaries actually filter out unhealthy relationships, meaning people who respect your "no" strengthen the relationship, while those who don't reveal incompatibility, not rejection of them as people.

Discussion topics;

• Sexuality, sexual health, sexual wellness, relationships, mental health
• Understanding Your Capacity and Setting/maintaining Healthy Boundaries without guilt and while maintaining connection
• Feeling Safe Saying No Builds Trust
• Understanding Trauma and Nervous System Dysregulation
• Managing Trauma Response Through Nervous System Care
• Communication and Pacing in Exploring Kink
• Substance Use and Consent in Sexual Exploration
• Learning From Past Experiences and Building Intimacy Skills
• Sex Gets Better With Age and Confidence

Connect with Dr. Aly:

Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills online course on Tues, Jan 27th-Mar 17th

We all receive messages about who we are supposed to be, how we ought to feel, and how we should express ourselves, often enforced through shame and disconnection. Featuring 8 classes with a woven balance of science-based data, embodied exploration, and skills development designed to support you in creating, deepening, and sustaining sexual and emotional intimacy in your relationship(s). Recordings available for those who can't attend live or want extra review. Super early bird tickets available now for $200-$400 off!

Last but not least, reach out to Dr. Aly for individual, couples, and ENM coaching support!
http://www.turnon.love/

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