So many women in midlife are quietly carrying an exhausting belief: that their worth is something they have to earn—through productivity, perfection, and putting everyone else first.

In this episode of Message in the Middle, Marianne is joined by registered social worker, meditation and breathwork teacher, and founder of The Self-Worth Solution, Ruth Hirshberg, for a deeply honest conversation about burnout, boundaries, and the hidden beliefs keeping so many high-achieving women stuck.

Ruth shares why boundaries don’t work when you don’t believe you’re allowed to have them, how survival mode becomes a “normal” way of living, and why trying to fix behaviors without addressing the beliefs underneath rarely leads to lasting change. Together, they explore what it really takes to separate your worth from your productivity—and why you don’t need to become a different person to finally feel enough.

Key Takeaways:

• Why so many women intellectually know they’re worthy, but don’t feel it
• How early beliefs around “not enoughness” quietly shape our adult lives
• The difference between treating symptoms and addressing root causes
• Why boundaries collapse without a foundation of self-worth
• How productivity became a stand-in for worth, and how to untangle it
• The role breathwork and nervous system regulation play in healing
• Why you don’t need fixing, you need permission to stop proving yourself

If you’re tired of chasing validation, running on empty, or feeling like you’re always falling short, this conversation offers permission to stop performing your worth and start owning it.

Check out the Mini Meditation Marianne posted before the holidays: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1938384/episodes/18207054

Connect with Ruth:

• Face Book https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579052467890
• Website: https://www.groundingwithruth.com
• Instagram: @groundingwithruth
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruth-hirshberg

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

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What happens to a relationship when chronic illness enters the picture?

For many women in midlife, a diagnosis doesn’t just affect the body, it reshapes roles, routines, identity, intimacy, and the emotional fabric of our closest relationships. And without the right support, even the strongest partnerships can quietly shift from connection to survival mode.

In this episode of Message in the Middle, I’m joined by Lisa Gray, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in high-conflict couples and couples navigating chronic illness and pain. After spending a decade as an air traffic controller and peer debriefing counselor, Lisa transitioned into the mental health field and in 2009, her own diagnosis of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome deepened and transformed her work in a powerful way.

Lisa brings both professional expertise and lived experience to this conversation, along with a hopeful, grounded belief that relationships can grow stronger even in the middle of uncertainty and change. We talk about how chronic illness impacts partnership dynamics, communication, intimacy, identity, and how couples can move beyond survival toward true connection.

We explore:

• How a chronic illness diagnosis reshapes relationship dynamics
• Communicating needs without guilt or fear of being a burden
• Avoiding the caregiver–patient trap while staying supportive
• Navigating changing roles and identities without resentment
• Rebuilding intimacy and emotional closeness
• Relationship Negotiations
• What it really means to thrive, not just survive, as a couple

Lisa is the author of Thriving in a Relationship When You Have Chronic Illness: Navigate Challenges and Keep Your Relationship Strong Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and shares practical insight, compassion, and hope throughout this conversation.

If you’re in a season of rediscovery, wanting to feel more rooted, more connected, and more like yourself again, this episode is for you.

Connect with Lisa:

• Instagram - @lisagraymft and @therapybooknook
• Practice website - www.lisagraymft.com
• Author website - https://www.lisagrayauthor.com

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

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In this powerful conversation, Marianne sits down with author and creative visionary Nikki Allen, whose novel Loved You, Hated You began as a song, became a screenplay, and ultimately transformed into a raw, emotionally charged exploration of heartbreak, identity loss, and choosing yourself again.

Nikki opens up about surviving an emotionally abusive relationship, the kind that doesn’t leave physical bruises but quietly erodes your voice, your clarity, and your sense of self. Through creativity, spirituality, and storytelling, she rebuilt her identity piece by piece and today she’s sharing how midlife women can do the same.

Together, they explore:
• Healing after emotional betrayal
• Reclaiming identity when you’ve lost yourself in love
• How creativity helps us process pain
• Turning trauma into transformation
• The power of midlife reinvention
• Using storytelling as a path back to your voice
• Nikki’s advocacy around homelessness and resilience

If you’ve ever loved too hard, stayed too long, or struggled to find yourself again after heartbreak, this is an episode that will stay with you.

Connect with Nikki:
• Website: https://officialnikkiallen.com/

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

Leave Us a Review: If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review and share your favorite takeaway. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and bring you even more valuable content.

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If you’ve ever felt like your body and your mind were working against you—stuck in stress, burnout, or exhaustion—this episode is for you.

Marianne sits down with Kelly Hale, a wellness practitioner with over 25 years of experience as an occupational therapist, restorative movement specialist, and nervous system regulation expert. Kelly’s not your typical wellness voice—she’s a self-proclaimed former meditation dropout who discovered that healing doesn’t come from doing more, but from listening within.

Through her Gutsy Brain Movement, Kelly helps people move from fight, flight, or freeze into ease by blending nervous system regulation, gut health, and gentle, intentional movement. In this conversation, Kelly shares how her own health struggles with celiac disease and fertility challenges deepened her understanding of the body’s innate wisdom—and how we can all learn to trust our own bodies again.

Together, Marianne and Kelly explore:
✅ What nervous system regulation really means (and why it matters in midlife)
✅ How gut health and emotional well-being are connected
✅ What it looks like to rebuild trust with your body after years of disconnect
✅ Simple, everyday practices to calm anxiety and restore balance
✅ Why “healing” doesn’t have to be complicated

If you’re ready to trade stress for self-awareness and exhaustion for ease, this episode will remind you that everything you need to heal already lives within you.

Connect with Kelly:

• Website: https://inspiredwell.com/
• Inner Peace Freebie: https://inspiredwell.com/innerpeace
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/inspired2wellness/
• FB: https://www.facebook.com/inspiredwellnesskelly

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

Leave Us a Review: If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review and share your favorite takeaway. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and bring you even more valuable content.

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What happens when you realize in midlife that your brain has been playing by a completely different rulebook all along?

In this episode of Message in the Middle, host Marianne DeMello-Smith sits down with Jorie Houlihan, Your Guide for the Dopamine Deprived™️—an ADHD life coach, speaker, and host of ADHD &... with Jorie Houlihan.

After being diagnosed with ADHD at 49, Jorie’s world began to make sense in ways it never had before. But the true transformation came not from the diagnosis itself, but from unlearning decades of self-blame and learning how to create systems that actually work for her unique brain.

Together, Marianne and Jorie unpack:
💡 What ADHD really looks like in adult women (and why it’s often missed)
💡 The emotional rollercoaster of diagnosis including the relief, grief, and everything in between
💡 How to tell the difference between ADHD traits and unrealistic self-expectations
💡 Real-world strategies to build confidence and reduce overwhelm
💡 How to support loved ones who are learning to manage ADHD later in life

If you’ve ever wondered why you struggle with focus, time, or rest, or you’re ready to stop forcing yourself into neurotypical molds, this conversation is for you.

👉 Tune in to discover why your brain isn’t broken, it’s just beautifully different.

Connect with Jorie:

• https://joriehoulihan.com
• https://theadhdandpodcast.com

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

Leave Us a Review: If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review and share your favorite takeaway. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and bring you even more valuable content.

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In this episode of Message in the Middle, we’re exploring something deeply human and undeniably powerful: the stories we tell about ourselves and how changing them can change everything.

I’m joined by Shaunna Lee, bestselling author, coach, and passionate advocate for rewriting your inner narrative so you can step into a life that feels aligned, empowered, and true. Together, we talk about how stories shape identity, influence confidence, and often keep us stuck without even realizing it.

Shaunna shares her own journey of reframing old beliefs, finding her voice, and choosing a story that supported the life she wanted instead of the one she felt tied to. We dig into why midlife is the perfect time for this kind of transformation, how to challenge narratives that no longer serve you, and what it really looks like to reclaim authorship of your life.

If you’ve ever felt defined by your past or if you're ready to write a new chapter grounded in truth, compassion, and strength, then this conversation is for you.

Connect with Shaunna: https://www.shaunnalee.com

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

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Many women in midlife begin to question habits they once accepted without much thought, for some that includes their relationship with alcohol. In this episode of Message in the Middle, Marianne sits down with alcohol-free empowerment coach, keynote speaker, and author Lauren Fay for an honest, compassionate conversation about reclaiming your power and choosing a more conscious way of living.

Lauren shares what life looked like before she stopped drinking in 2018, and why she doesn’t frame sobriety as a loss, but as an act of self-trust and self-respect. Together, they explore how alcohol can quietly shape identity, relationships, confidence, and intuition, often without us realizing it.

This conversation isn’t about labels or perfection. It’s about awareness, choice, and what becomes possible when you stop numbing and start listening.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why midlife is often the moment women begin questioning alcohol’s role in their lives
• Reframing sobriety as reclaiming power rather than giving something up
• Subtle signs of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, even without addiction
• Navigating relationships and social situations while living alcohol-free
• Rebuilding identity outside of drinking culture
• Letting go of shame and secrecy and learning to live more openly
• How sobriety can activate confidence, ambition, and deeper self-trust
• Reimagining joy, rest, and celebration without alcohol

Whether you’re sober-curious, taking a break, or simply reflecting on how you want to feel in this season of life, this episode offers permission to choose yourself.

Connect with Lauren:

• Website: https://laurenfaycoaching.com/
• Grab The Book: https://laurenfay.co/book

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

Leave Us a Review: If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review and share your favorite takeaway. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and bring you even more valuable content.

Keep the conversation going - Join us for more insightful conversations in the Message in the Middle Private Facebook Community & subscribe to Message in th...

As we come to the end of the year and step into a new one, this episode of Message in the Middle is meant to feel like a bridge between seasons.

Instead of a detailed recap, Marianne reflects on the themes that showed up again and again in conversations throughout the year and reminds us why they matter so deeply for women in midlife.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or emotional doesn’t mean you’re broken
• How identity shifts in midlife are not a crisis, but an invitation
• Why rest is not a reward you earn, but a necessity
• The importance of connection and community

Marianne also shares a personal note as she heads into a two-week vacation, practicing what she often talks about, slowing down, letting go of perfection, and creating meaningful memories with her kids and grandkids (the thing she loves most).

This episode is a reminder that midlife isn’t about winding down, it’s about waking up. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just becoming.

If this podcast has supported you this year, please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any episodes in the new year. Subscribing and leaving a review helps more women find these conversations and this community.

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

Leave Us a Review: If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review and share your favorite takeaway. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and bring you even more valuable content.

Keep the conversation going - Join us for more insightful conversations in the Message in the Middle Private Facebook Community & subscribe to Message in th...