Today we’re tackling one of the most painful questions parents face when their child is struggling with substance use - "Should I kick them out?"

You’ll hear why this question is far more complicated than it’s often made out to be and why it deserves careful thought, not quick advice based on outdated, stigmatized ideas like "tough love" or "rock bottom."

In this episode, Heather shares:

• Why the words we use when making hard decisions affect how we feel and show up
• What factors to consider before asking your child to leave, including safety, emotional health, and recovery capital
• How to recognize when fear, guilt, or pressure might be influencing your choices
• What it looks like to thoughtfully create a transition if your child can’t safely stay at home
• Why honoring your own values and your child's right to self-determination leads to decisions you can live with

If you’ve ever felt trapped between two terrible options, letting chaos continue in your home or kicking your child out into the unknown, this episode will help you decide what’s best for you and your family.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

For years, I lived with my peace tied directly to my daughter Helanna’s addiction. When she struggled, I felt powerless, sick, exhausted, and consumed by fear. But everything began to shift when I realized that peace isn’t something that can be stolen—it’s something we either protect or give away.

Even in the most heartbreaking moments, I discovered that I still had agency over how I related to my emotions. That realization didn’t erase the pain, but it gave me something solid to stand on. And I want that for you, too.

We’ll talk about:

•How to stop bracing for impact and start standing in your power

•The “yes for a no” strategy that filled my needs as a mom

•What emotional intelligence really means in parenting through addiction

•How staying grounded gives your child the best possible chance at change

Peace of Mind Group Scholarship Opportunity

Email the answers to the 5 questions below to heather@heatherrosscoaching.com by the end of the day April 14th, 2025.

1. Why do you want to be part of the Peace of Mind Group Coaching Program for Mothers?

2. What would it mean to you, personally, to find peace of mind and joy in the midst of your child’s struggle?

3. How do you currently cope with the stress and fear that come with your child’s substance use?

4. What do you most want to feel or believe about yourself as a parent by the end of this program?

5. Is financial support the missing piece that would allow you to say yes to getting the help you want?

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

There is a crucial difference between pity and compassion—and this distinction can deeply impact your relationship with your child. When we pity our kids, we see them as helpless victims, stripping them of their agency and reinforcing our own feelings of hopelessness.

But compassion is different—it sees their struggles without defining them by them, offering support in a way that preserves dignity and connection.

Heather shares personal experiences that have shown her the stark contrast between pity and compassion. We’ll also explore how parents often unknowingly judge their child’s struggles, assuming they are solely a result of poor choices while overlooking the massive role of other factors.

If you’ve ever thought, “I would never end up in that situation,” this episode will challenge that belief and help you shift from judgment to true understanding.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How pity and compassion create completely different dynamics in your relationship with your child

• Why pity makes your child feel disconnected, unseen, and incapable of change

• How compassion fosters trust, safety, and a stronger bond

• 7 simple ways to shift from pity to compassion in your daily interactions

Plus, don’t miss my free Boundaries That Create Connection Masterclass on Tuesday, March 25th—where I’ll teach you how to set boundaries that actually strengthen your relationship rather than pushing your child away. Sign up using the link below!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/boundaries-that-create-connection-masterclass/

If you found this episode helpful, please leave a 5-star review—your feedback helps other parents find the support they need.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

In this episode, Heather interviews Jeremy French, the founder of Making Whole, an organization that fills a critical gap in the addiction recovery treatment system. While traditional recovery programs often focus on short-term stabilization, Making Whole provides the missing piece—long-term support through meaningful work, mentorship, and personal growth.

Jeremy shares his journey of asking a pivotal question: Why do some people thrive in long-term recovery while others struggle or don’t survive?

Through his exploration, he identified key elements that support sustainable recovery—mentorship, creativity, problem-solving, and the ability to navigate uncertainty.

These insights became the foundation of Making Whole, where men in recovery not only learn to craft high-quality custom furniture but also rebuild their lives and develop the skills necessary to thrive.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• The importance of creating an environment of change where people want to stay and get better.

• How meaningful work and mentorship create a foundation for sustainable recovery.

• The role of passion, creative problem solving, and embracing uncertainty in healing.

Tune in to hear how Making Whole is changing lives—one handcrafted piece at a time.

Resources & Links:

Learn more about Making Whole: https://makingwhole.com/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

In this heartfelt episode, Heather shares her perspective on the damaging labels of codependent and enabler that are often placed on parents. She explains why these labels are not only unhelpful but also undermine a parent's natural instincts—instincts that are, in fact, a powerful tool for connection and support.

Heather emphasizes that parents don’t need warnings about what not to do. Instead, they need clear, actionable guidance on how to help their child struggling with substance use while staying connected in a meaningful way.

Listeners will discover:

• Why parental instincts are not the problem—they are the key.
• How small, intentional shifts in communication and boundaries can create meaningful change.
• The importance of questioning harmful labels and trusting their own 'why.'
• How having their own back and honoring their values is a vital part of helping their child.

This episode is a powerful reminder that a parent's love is not a disorder, and they are never powerless.

With the right tools and support, parents can show up effectively for their child and themselves.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

In the last episode, we explored why our kids can excel in unexpected areas—like chess, gas prices, or mental math—but struggle with everyday tasks like making a phone call or getting to an appointment on time. We looked at the brain science behind these inconsistencies and how substance use impacts different cognitive functions.

But now comes the next step: How do we work with these realities instead of fighting against them?

In this episode, we’ll focus on practical ways to help your child follow through on tasks, build new skills, and gain confidence—without creating more conflict or frustration.

We’ll cover:

• How to help your child make a phone call when avoidance and anxiety get in the way
• How to get them to an appointment on time without endless reminders and frustration
• How to support long-term planning in a way that makes sense for their brain
• Why small, achievable steps matter more than big expectations

When we stop seeing their struggles as defiance and start seeing them as brain function, everything shifts. We can adjust our expectations, reduce conflict, and set them up for success in ways that actually work.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

Have you ever felt completely baffled by your child’s behavior? Maybe they can play chess skillfully but can’t seem to get ready for an appointment on time. Maybe they have zero concept of time but can tell you the gas prices at every station in town. These inconsistencies can feel frustrating and even personal—like they don’t care or aren’t trying.

But what if there’s a scientific explanation?

In this episode, we dive into the brain science behind these confusing behaviors. I’ll break down how substance use affects different areas of the brain, why some skills stay intact while others decline, and how understanding this can reduce frustration, increase compassion, and help you better support your child.

We’ll explore:

• How the prefrontal cortex, dopamine system, hippocampus, and amygdala all play a role in motivation, memory, and decision-making
• Why time blindness makes planning and follow-through so difficult
• How survival-based thinking can cause hyperfocus on things like gas prices but not daily responsibilities
• Why understanding these brain changes can help you find peace of mind and set realistic expectations

When we understand the why behind their struggles, we can stop fighting against reality and start working with it.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

When we have a child struggling, it’s easy to feel like our happiness is tied to theirs. That belief, often summed up in the phrase, "You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child," can leave us feeling powerless and overwhelmed. But what if letting go of that belief could create more peace, joy, and connection—not just for you, but for your child as well?

In this heartfelt episode, Heather dives into three powerful questions inspired by a mom from her Facebook group:

1. How do you live a happy life knowing your child might die?
2. Are we really only as happy as your unhappiest child?
3. How can you be happy when your child is so unhappy?

Through her own experiences and hard-earned wisdom, Heather shares how shifting our focus inward, questioning unhelpful beliefs, and embracing acceptance can lead to healing and peace of mind.

Recommended episodes:

1. EP102 How To Accept The Unacceptable
2. EP103 Acceptance meditation
3. EP03 What to do When You're Paralyzed With Fear That Your Child Will Overdose & Die

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/