Finally Heather and Rian found a fever dream in EMPIRE RECORDS (1995), a mid-90s time capsule of white middle-class American teens! Topics include Easter Plans, Heathens, and Buddhism; ethical debates of social media; IMPERFECT WOMEN, TRAVEL MAN, and BAIT with Riz Ahmed; this is not a John Mulaney fan podcast, and Rian is not a professional comedian; Rian's best-ever how she wasted time; cat-astrophizing; Bat Boy and April Fool's Day; Who's On First but make it ADHD; Empire Records passes the Bechdel Test; we ask and answer the big questions about EMPIRE RECORDS:

• Is Empire Records a musical?
• FMK: Maxwell Caufield?
• How many of the craps table people would have voted for DJT?
• How old are these "teenagers?"
• Why did Rian go so deep into Berko's backstory?
• What makes a job a "cool job?"
• Is Empire Records the Breakfast Club of the 90s?
• Is Lucas Gen Z?
• Have you seen THE CRAFT?

Also, A.J. the "artist;" we need a documentary about former employees of M/A/R/C; no red beverage clauses in an anecdote (upon anecdotes upon anecdotes featuring David Boreanaz, Stevie Nicks, and Thom Yorke); new friend rules and dating apps; Rian is in her diabolical era; and even more!

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Upon rewatch, Heather and Rian found the 90s fever dream of DROP DEAD GORGEOUS (1999) to be a super problematic. Topics include fragile white feelings and no kings; the Other Heather (and Kyle); Rian hiding money from herself like John Mulaney; school picture day bribes; Heather's audio book is out!; more time and a DVD player; SPICE WORLD and THE SECRET AGENT and SANCTUARY; Holy White Girl, Batman!; wood paneling on minivans and the 90s aesthetic; defining salads; folding salami into roses; dancing with a crucifix; GREASE 2 callbacks; an unexpected Buñel reference; What is Idaho?; and even more!

(You can find info about Heather's book at hdwritesthings.com)

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Upon rewatch, Heather and Rian found the 90s fever dream of CAN'T HARDLY WAIT (1998) to be a nightmare. Topics include a crumpled frog and witchy business; Wally Pleasant; wifi (the fifth element); using up all the math; PROJECT HAIL MARY, Heather's unhinged review; paying to watch commercials; THE WEST WING's hopeful optimism is unwatchable right now; cosplaying M@GA and the social media hall of fame; Elliot's jibber jabber; parenting through fear; Seth Green holds up, even as a culturally-appropriating sex pest; unbelievable crushes; no thighs, only gaps; Grandpa Vampire in that red shirt; vibing with Denise; what the teens do for dopamine these days; us, if we had a band; Clea DuVall will fck you up; HEATED RIVALRY and queering the male gaze; and even more!

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 Hey, can you believe we've kept this crap up for three years?* To celebrate you and us, we put together this brief compilation of different soundbites from seasons one, two, and three. For your reference:

SEASON 1 EPISODES

• This is Not a Geography Podcast (Dukes of Hazzard / Three's Company)
• The Original Incel (Mannequin)
• Mmmmm Finger Milk (Small Wonder / The Electric Grandmother)
• Millennial Elders (bonus) (Back to the Beach)
• Cool It With the Sugar, Toots (Peggy Sue Got Married)
• Stop with All the Tomfoolery (Back to the Future)
• The Gay Yoda (Brothers / Facts of Life)
• Chasing Ghouls to Get Laid (Ghostbusters)
• Useless Units of Limes (Can't Buy Me Love)
• Witches Don't Use Crystal Balls (Working Girl)
• Thank That Hot Dog (Grease)**
• Hijinks Ensue (E.T.)
• Halloween 1985: Get Your Buttons Bit (Once Bitten)

SEASON 2 EPISODES

• Making Love to a Pastry Cart (Big Business)
• This Meat Sack is Done (The Philadelphia Story)
• The Children Need to Know (Hairspray)
• Welcome to the Cult (Flashdance)
• Do You Know Any Chiropractors? (The Breakfast Club)

SEASON 3 EPISODES

• Babies Can't Read (Popeye)
• My Sexuality is "Tired" (The Sound of Music)
• Crying Alone in My Hotel Room in Canada (My Fair Lady)
• Mariachi Karaoke (Summer School)
• Ladies and Gentlemen, The 1989s (Saved by the Bell / Head of the Class)
• An ADHD Kind of Day (The Princess Bride)
• Twist It with a Pencil (Meet Me in St. Louis)

*Note: We skipped the entirety of 2025

**If you're looking for Grease 2, it's in the episode called Sweating in Closets on a Saturday Night.

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Heather and Rian give themselves over to the 90s fever dream of ROMY AND MICHELE'S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION (1997). Topics include apologizing to Ireland; fighting with an ISP; DARK WINDS; BEETLEJUICE; THE BRIDE!; ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER and Mother Maya's blessing; Harry Potter, I mean Harry Styles; chakras (yes, chakras); the High Janeane Garofalo Era; hoping that your bladder can hold; a campaign to bring back Sky Mall; hate watching movies with your bestie; Heather's FRIENDS breakup: an ADHD story told in an ADHD manner; 90s nostalgia; Matt Berry announcing THE OSCARS; the bullying scale; paper fortune tellers; raw cookie dough; AB FAB and old people acting; sharp-dressed lesbians saving the day; sex pests and smart women; and even more!

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Heather and Rian wrap up the series on vintage capitalism and throw all their whiteness at the legendary SET IT OFF (1996). Topics include THE NIGHT MANAGER and ÉTOILE and Timothée Chalamet; The Harry Styles Album; the REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS let Rian down; a billion dollars a day; Rian's better because she cried but The Shins are too happy; WUTHERING HEIGHTS and Heather is still the best boyfriend ever; texting the wrong chat; the governor's dog and a good gift shop; special note about American school buses; watching ROMEO + JULIET instead of SET IT OFF; SNAKES ON A PLANE or SOUL PLANE?; our uncle is also named Gary Gray; toothpicks and dueling banjos and scary white dudes; put sheets on your bed, Mack from NIGHT COURT!; lessons from PILLION; less trauma and more GOLDEN GIRLS; Rutger Bregman; Heather and "the chronic"; the Pinkett Pinky Point; people making bad choices; mixed thoughts on THE GODFATHER scene and clear thoughts on women being fierce and stepping into power; Blair Underwood's Vampire Apartment; genie ethics; we don't need that white guy at all; a little bit of linguistics; and even more!

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The I LOVE YOU BUT podcast presents LASTING IMPRESSIONS: A MODERN PRIDE & PREJUDICE, the audio book, written and read by co-host, Heather, under her pen name, Heather Denton. Following a brief intro and a five-minute sample of the audio book, the Davis Sisters chat about Heather's love letter to Jane Austen; talk sh-t about other Austen adaptations; and invoke Shakespeare and Chaucer. Additional topics include book playlists with too many songs by The Smiths; dream actor easter eggs; Emily Gilmore, Lucille Bluth, and Lady Catherine de Bourgh; romance novels and female pleasure; the spectrum of romance: Heather's definition of romance, the romance of higher education, and the romance of childhood; what's next from Heather Denton; and more.

Find all versions of Heather Denton's LASTING IMPRESSIONS: A MODERN PRIDE & PREJUDICE at hdwritesthings.com.

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Heather and Rian continue the series on vintage capitalism and giggle about I ❤️HUCKABEES (2004). Topics include THE BEAUTY and ironic advertising; THE NIGHT MANAGER and the undeniable straightness of Tom Hiddleston; Olympic Condom Math; are you curling curious?; making it awkward all of the time; Rian's teaching philosophy on a t-shirt; the plarn is back; the cat's secret family; foot pesto; what we hate these days; Heather's film bullsht blog; Rian's hipster adventures; our personal coincidences with HUCKABEES; being in it for the experience; darling vegan gay boys; it's never too late for Mancala Hour; bad poetry and vandalism; Rian has no time for these white dudes who make other people's jobs harder; social media is "planting garbage"; Lily Tomlin's costumes; naming cool socialists; more complicity in our consumption; an award idea for LAS CULTURISTAS; a hot cheese and cold cream tour of Europe; props to Jude Law; the emptiness of shiny, perfect people; a LAST YEAR AT MARIENBAD reference; and even more!

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