Finally Heather and Rian found a fever dream in EMPIRE RECORDS (1995), a mid-90s time capsule of white middle-class American teens! Topics include Easter Plans, Heathens, and Buddhism; ethical debates of social media; IMPERFECT WOMEN, TRAVEL MAN, and BAIT with Riz Ahmed; this is not a John Mulaney fan podcast, and Rian is not a professional comedian; Rian's best-ever how she wasted time; cat-astrophizing; Bat Boy and April Fool's Day; Who's On First but make it ADHD; Empire Records passes the Bechdel Test; we ask and answer the big questions about EMPIRE RECORDS:

• Is Empire Records a musical?
• FMK: Maxwell Caufield?
• How many of the craps table people would have voted for DJT?
• How old are these "teenagers?"
• Why did Rian go so deep into Berko's backstory?
• What makes a job a "cool job?"
• Is Empire Records the Breakfast Club of the 90s?
• Is Lucas Gen Z?
• Have you seen THE CRAFT?

Also, A.J. the "artist;" we need a documentary about former employees of M/A/R/C; no red beverage clauses in an anecdote (upon anecdotes upon anecdotes featuring David Boreanaz, Stevie Nicks, and Thom Yorke); new friend rules and dating apps; Rian is in her diabolical era; and even more!

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Upon rewatch, Heather and Rian found the 90s fever dream of DROP DEAD GORGEOUS (1999) to be a super problematic. Topics include fragile white feelings and no kings; the Other Heather (and Kyle); Rian hiding money from herself like John Mulaney; school picture day bribes; Heather's audio book is out!; more time and a DVD player; SPICE WORLD and THE SECRET AGENT and SANCTUARY; Holy White Girl, Batman!; wood paneling on minivans and the 90s aesthetic; defining salads; folding salami into roses; dancing with a crucifix; GREASE 2 callbacks; an unexpected Buñel reference; What is Idaho?; and even more!

(You can find info about Heather's book at hdwritesthings.com)

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Upon rewatch, Heather and Rian found the 90s fever dream of CAN'T HARDLY WAIT (1998) to be a nightmare. Topics include a crumpled frog and witchy business; Wally Pleasant; wifi (the fifth element); using up all the math; PROJECT HAIL MARY, Heather's unhinged review; paying to watch commercials; THE WEST WING's hopeful optimism is unwatchable right now; cosplaying M@GA and the social media hall of fame; Elliot's jibber jabber; parenting through fear; Seth Green holds up, even as a culturally-appropriating sex pest; unbelievable crushes; no thighs, only gaps; Grandpa Vampire in that red shirt; vibing with Denise; what the teens do for dopamine these days; us, if we had a band; Clea DuVall will fck you up; HEATED RIVALRY and queering the male gaze; and even more!

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