In this episode of Heart and Soulution, Mike and Kristen Jones delve into the concept of apology languages, a crucial tool for improving relationships personally and professionally. Inspired by an incredible story of forgiveness, they explore the five distinct ways people give and receive apologies, based on the work of Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas. They explain why a simple "I'm sorry" might not always be enough and how understanding your own and your partner's primary apology language can lead to genuine forgiveness and rebuilding trust. The episode concludes with a "Conversation Card of the Day" and an exciting giveaway for listeners.

(C) 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, generated with Suno.ai.

Resources we mentioned:

Chapman, Gary D., and Jennifer M. Thomas. The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships. Moody Publishers, 2008.

Chapman, Gary D. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Northfield Publishing, 2015.

In this follow-up to their previous discussion on fighting (4 Ways to Repair Trash Talk), Mike and Kristen dive deeper into practical tools for healthy conflict resolution. They begin by reframing conflict not as a negative, but as a necessary and good opportunity for relationship growth. Kristen breaks down the complex, multi-step process of communication and negotiation, showing how easily misunderstandings can lead to frustration, unmet expectations, and hurt. This leads to the core topic of the episode: "bids" for connection, a concept from Dr. John Gottman. A bid is any attempt to connect with your partner, and how you respond—by "turning towards" them to engage or "turning away" and shutting them down—is crucial for the health of your relationship. Mike and Kristen also discuss common conflict pitfalls, such as "harsh startups" and getting caught in a "crazy cycle" of negative reactions. They emphasize that it only takes one person to de-escalate a situation and make a change that will shift the entire dynamic of the relationship. Finally, they offer practical, easy-to-implement guidelines that couples can agree on to navigate disagreements more productively.

(C) 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including Heart and Soulution theme, Card of the day jingle and all background music; generated with Suno.ai.

Reference material and Resources to dive deeper:

• Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2002), The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
• ⁠Table Topics Tabletop Sets: Questions to start great conversations.⁠

Connect with Heart and Solution:

• Follow on Instagram: Join the conversation @heartandsoulution.

• Share Your Ideas: Let Mike and Kristen know your ideas for future episodes and participate in their weekly poll on Instagram.

In this episode of Heart and Soulution, Mike and Kristen Jones explore the dynamics of conflict in relationships, drawing heavily on Dr. Gottman's research. The hosts discuss how healthy couples manage disagreements through "repairs," which are techniques to de-escalate tension and foster constructive conversation. They also introduce "the Four Horsemen"—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—as behaviors that can severely damage a relationship, contrasting them with the concept of a "relationship bank" where positive interactions build reserves to mitigate negative ones. The episode concludes with a playful segment featuring a "date night" question to encourage deeper couple communication.

(C) 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including Heart and Soulution theme, Card of the day jingle and all background music; generated with Suno.ai.

Reference material and Resources to dive deeper:

• Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2002), The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
• Table Topics Tabletop Sets: Questions to start great conversations.

Connect with Heart and Solution:

• Follow on Instagram: Join the conversation @heartandsoulution.

• Share Your Ideas: Let Mike and Kristen know your ideas for future episodes and participate in their weekly poll on Instagram.

In this episode of Heart and Soulution, Mike and Kristen explore how understanding individual strengths and differences can lead to stronger, more harmonious partnerships.The couple discusses how personality assessments, particularly the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, can be powerful tools for self-awareness and relationship growth. Mike, a certified Myers-Briggs practitioner, emphasizes the importance of understanding one's core wiring, distinguishing between nature and nurture. Mike and Kristen share personal anecdotes, including the infamous "Flooring Incident of 2020," (actually 2021) to illustrate how their different approaches to tasks, stemming from their distinct Myers-Briggs types, can create both challenges and opportunities for collaboration. Ultimately, the couple highlight that these assessments are not meant to box individuals in or provide excuses, but rather to foster awareness, curiosity, and leverage differences for mutual benefit within a relationship.

(C) 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, generated with Suno.ai.

Links:

• More about the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) https://www.themyersbriggs.com/en-US/Products-and-Services/Myers-Briggs

Join Mike and Kristen Jones on the Heart and Soulution podcast as they delve into the enduring wisdom of Dr. Gary Smalley's, "Keys to Lasting and Loving Relationships" video series. Despite Dr. Smalley's passing, this powerful resource, containing 19 videos and over 20 hours of content, remains available at smalleyinstitute.com. Mike and Kristen share how this series, which they discovered decades ago, continues to impact their marriage and offers timeless lessons that are still applicable today. They discuss key concepts such as treating your spouse like a celebrity, finding value in "camping experiences" (difficult times), communicating through "emotional word pictures," understanding the fundamental differences between men and women, and the four essential elements for a thriving relationship (security, communication, bonding experiences, and meaningful touch). They also touch upon personality types, like the "Golden Retriever," and strongly recommend this series as a valuable tool for couples or small groups.

(C) 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, generated with Suno.ai.

Links:

• Dr. Gary Smalley's "Keys to Lasting and Loving Relationships" Resource: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/57F5JbDR/checkout

The Heart and Soulution podcast with Mike and Kristen Jones offers an overview of their experiences with premarital counseling and the early challenges in their marriage. They discuss using the SYMBIS assessment ("Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts") and the importance of community and shared resources for navigating difficulties. Mike and Kristen emphasize that conflict can be a tool for growth and advocate for intentionality in relationships and sharing learned insights with others. They also credit Dr. Gary Smalley's video series as a significant positive influence on their marriage.

(C) 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, generated with Suno.ai.

Resources we mentioned:

SYMBIS Assessment information

https://www.symbis.com/

Dr. Gary Smalley video series

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/57F5JbDR/checkout

In this episode of "Heart and Soulution," Mike and Kristen Jones focus on intentional communication within relationships, particularly marriage. They discuss the importance of speaking and listening with purpose, highlighting common pitfalls such as the tendency to "fix" problems rather than simply listening. Mike and Kristen introduce strategies like asking if someone needs a solution or just an ear and emphasize empathetic listening, where understanding a perspective is prioritized over agreement. The conversation also touches on the impact of personality types on communication and the value of expressing feelings clearly to foster healthier interactions.

Heart and Soulution Theme song and all background music:

(C) 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, generated with Suno.ai.

Books that we mentioned:

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2002), p. 133, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.

Scazzero, P., & Scazzero, G. (2022). Emotionally Healthy Relationships: Discipleship that deeply changes your relationship with others (Updated ed.). Zondervan.

Follow us on Instagram: ⁠heartandsoulution⁠

In this episode of Heart and Soulution, Mike and Kristen discuss the importance of boundaries, specifically safeguards, within committed relationships. They use a recent public scandal involving a CEO caught in an inappropriate situation at a concert to illustrate the consequences of lacking strong safeguards. Mike and Kristen suggest that couples should proactively define and maintain clear boundaries, even those that might seem extreme, to prevent their relationship from being compromised. They share their personal rules, such as not messaging members of the opposite sex privately on social media and maintaining open access to each other's devices, emphasizing that these are chosen to protect their marriage and avoid even the appearance of impropriety. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to engage in honest conversations with their partners to establish their own mutually agreed-upon safeguards, ensuring the health and longevity of their relationship.