In this episode of Lovers, therapist Kier Gaines shares a personal and professional reflection on how resentment builds when men are taught to silence their emotional truth.

Kier opens up about a pivotal moment in his own relationship, when he realized that his partner’s tone was hurting his feelings, and that his fear of naming it, out of concern that he would sound “effeminate” or not man enough, was quietly turning into resentment. What started as self-protection slowly became emotional distance, until he reached a breaking point where honesty felt less risky than staying silent.

Together, we unpack how masculinity norms shape emotional expression, why unspoken hurt often masquerades as resentment, and how learning to articulate emotional impact can transform intimacy rather than threaten it. This conversation explores the cost of swallowing feelings, the courage it takes to speak before resentment hardens, and what becomes possible when men allow themselves to be emotionally legible in their relationships.

This episode isn’t about blame or tone-policing. It’s about emotional responsibility, relational repair, and the freedom that comes from finally saying the thing you were afraid would make you sound weak.

To hear more episodes of Lovers, head to: https://lemonada.lnk.to/LOVERSbyShanfd

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once upon a time there was a girl named jennette who struggled with acne. she then became a woman named jennette who still struggled with acne. this was a confusing and frustrating journey for her. until she met a handsome prince named benzoyl peroxide. only, the story is a lot more complicated than that. listen to the episode to hear the full fairytale.

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abandonment issues: we all know them, we all hate them. well, maybe we don’t all know them. but i certainly do. in a heightened way. even with, i’m embarrassed to admit, my assistant…

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i don’t think friendships are necessarily a forever thing. i think sometimes it’s beneficial to end them. in my twenties, i tried to stay in expired friendships where the dynamic was doing me a disservice. in this episode, i talk through two examples of when i ended “key” friendships in my life.

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“doctor week” is a week i dread every year. it’s a week where i stuff as many doctor’s appointments in as possible because i dread them so much that i want to get them all over with as quickly as possible. this time, the appointments were a mammogram, ultrasound, pap smear, genetic testing, and an egg freezing consultation. i talk about what these appointments brought up for me emotionally, in the most i-have-zero-credentials-and-am-clearly-not-a-doctor sort of way.

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in this episode i delve into loyalty and, more specifically, what an issue i think it presents in certain relationships. the key relationship that comes to mind for me is the one with my “dad”. to understand why i put “dad” in quotes, you’re gonna have to listen to the episode. mormon punch recipe: 1 part sprite, 1 part rainbow sherbet, 1 dollop of whipped cream, ice to taste.

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i used to be an “underdog”. it was a narrative that fueled me. nowadays i don’t have the external circumstances that support that narrative, so what do i do now ? no i’m actually asking. this isn’t rhetorical. i’m literally asking you, the reader, to tell me what to do now. you can send ideas to my managers, norm & derek, at mainstay entertainment.

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in this final episode of hard feelings, i share a story of a recent incident where i wish i stood up for myself after someone’s hurtful comment. don’t worry, next time i will 😉 . thank you all for listening to hard feelings - i truly hope it’s been helpful to you in some way.

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