In this episode of Lovers, therapist Kier Gaines shares a personal and professional reflection on how resentment builds when men are taught to silence their emotional truth.

Kier opens up about a pivotal moment in his own relationship, when he realized that his partner’s tone was hurting his feelings, and that his fear of naming it, out of concern that he would sound “effeminate” or not man enough, was quietly turning into resentment. What started as self-protection slowly became emotional distance, until he reached a breaking point where honesty felt less risky than staying silent.

Together, we unpack how masculinity norms shape emotional expression, why unspoken hurt often masquerades as resentment, and how learning to articulate emotional impact can transform intimacy rather than threaten it. This conversation explores the cost of swallowing feelings, the courage it takes to speak before resentment hardens, and what becomes possible when men allow themselves to be emotionally legible in their relationships.

This episode isn’t about blame or tone-policing. It’s about emotional responsibility, relational repair, and the freedom that comes from finally saying the thing you were afraid would make you sound weak.

To hear more episodes of Lovers, head to: https://lemonada.lnk.to/LOVERSbyShanfd

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once upon a time there was a girl named jennette who struggled with acne. she then became a woman named jennette who still struggled with acne. this was a confusing and frustrating journey for her. until she met a handsome prince named benzoyl peroxide. only, the story is a lot more complicated than that. listen to the episode to hear the full fairytale.

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abandonment issues: we all know them, we all hate them. well, maybe we don’t all know them. but i certainly do. in a heightened way. even with, i’m embarrassed to admit, my assistant…

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