When Hilary was 18, her oldest sister, Kelly, died from a rare cancer called DSRCT (desmoplastic small round cell tumor). In the same year, Hilary left for college and her parents divorced - three life-altering events that reshaped her relationships, sense of stability, and the early years of adulthood.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Growing up as the youngest of three sisters and the creative, nurturing bond she shared with Kelly
• Navigating Kelly's diagnosis, treatment, and death while still in high school
• Trying to appear "fine" in college while carrying immense grief
• The ways her family dynamics shifted after Kelly's death and her parents' divorce
• How grief continued to evolve across developmental stages, from early adulthood into her mid-30s
• The unexpected moments - like baking bread or bringing home a new pet – that bring new waves of grief
• How her experience shaped her work as a therapist supporting others in pain

Hilary also shares what she wishes she had known about grief at 18, how exhausting it can be, and how she learned to make space for grief that shows up differently over time.

When Cassie arrived at Dougy Center for her first peer grief support group for young adults after her dad died, she sat in the parking lot wondering if she could even walk inside. When she did, she found people her age who understood what it meant to have a parent die - people who would end up shaping her life in ways she never imagined. In this episode, Cassie talks about how grief changed her, what it was like to find community in a peer support group, and how those friendships continue to support her years later. Now, as a volunteer facilitator in a peer grief support group for children, Cassie reflects on what it means to come full circle - turning the care she received into care she now offers others.

We Discuss:

• The early days and weeks after her dad's death
• How grief can be physically painful
• Finding connection and laughter in a support group
• Building lifelong friendships with people who "get it"
• Learning to make space for grief on purpose
• The importance of rituals and traditions
• What it's like to return as a volunteer to support children who are grieving
• The unexpected gifts of friendship Cassie's discovered in grief

Learn more about Dougy Center's peer grief support groups and resources for Young Adults ages 18-40.

When you're grieving, "Take care of yourself," might be the last thing you want to hear. So what does self-care actually look like for a parent or caregiver who is grieving? Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence, MA, who coordinates the Pathways Program at Dougy Center for families facing an advanced serious illness, joins us to share practical tools for caregivers who are trying to balance taking care of others with tending to themselves, along with crucial advice for friends and family who want to provide truly meaningful support.

We discuss:

• The many roles caregivers hold before and after a death

• Balancing others' needs while grieving yourself

• How adults and kids experience grief differently

• When the surviving parent had a complicated relationship with the person who died

• Simple, doable self-care for caregivers

• What real, helpful support looks like from friends and community

• Learning how to ask for and accept help

Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence, M.A., is the Pathways Program & Grief Services Coordinator at Dougy Center, The National Grief Center for Children & Families.

When Leena Magdi's younger brother, Hamoodi, was killed, her world shifted entirely. In her debut book Mourning Air, Leena explores how grief reshapes identity, faith, and love. In this conversation, Leena shares what it meant and means to be Hamoodi's sister, how sibling grief is often dismissed, and how writing helps her navigate the grief. Leena also shares about her family's forced displacement after war broke out in Sudan less than a year after Hamoodi's death - and how she's learning to grieve both her brother and her home.

We discuss:

• What it means to be a sister after a sibling dies
• The invisibility of sibling grief
• Finding connection through spirituality and writing
• Grieving a home and a country - and the additional losses her family experienced in fleeing to Egypt from Sudan after war broke out
• How Leena stays connected to Hamoodi

About Leena Magdi:
Leena Magdi is a Sudanese-American writer and poet, author of Mourning Air, and mother of two. She was born in Sudan, raised in California, and currently lives in Egypt. You can find her on Instagram @xleenamagdix and TikTok @xleenamagdix.

When Tyler Feder was 19, her mom died of cancer, an experience she captured years later in her bestselling graphic memoir Dancing at the Pity Party. In the years since, Tyler has described herself as a "dead mom person" - reflecting just how much of her life was shaped by the death of her mother. But this past winter, Tyler's dad also died, adding a new aspect to her identity, this time as an adult orphan.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The contrast between her parents' personalities – mom (quiet, creative, cat-like), dad (gregarious, emotional, dog-like) - and which of those aspects Tyler carries forward in hers.
• How writing, art, and community help her process grief.
• One of Tyler's favorite questions about her parents.
• Why tangible keepsakes matter so much.
• The difference having a parent die when you're still a teenager vs an adult.
• How her family approached her father's illness and death compared to her mom's.
• Living with worry and fear about her own health and mortality.

Follow Tyler's work on Instagram @tylerfeder.