“Dare to do that action. Dare to go for what you've been holding yourself back. Because passion never comes like a scream. It's always a whisper.” Besa Martini

I am thrilled to share this deeply meaningful episode of Girl Out of Order with you — one of the conversations I lean on the most when I think about growth, identity, grit, and what it means to get unstuck from old stories. I sit down with my coach, Master Coach Besa Martini (of Tony Robbins fame), who has transformed my life in ways I never saw coming. Together we explore how she moved across continents, wrestled with identity, leaned into possibility, and how we women can do the same — especially when our “shitty committee” (you know what I mean) is telling us to shrink.

In this episode, we dive into: the power of story (the ones we tell ourselves vs. the ones we can write), the triad — physiology, focus, language — as a tool for becoming the person you want to be before the evidence is there, and the courage to fail, to invest, to believe. If your heart has ever been saying, “there’s got to be more,” this episode is a love letter for you.

Timeline Highlights

TimeMoment & Why It Matters

[6:43] | Besa shares what it was like arriving in America 23 years ago, and how she navigated being an immigrant, having an accent, and holding onto her roots while daring to grow.
[12:30] | She describes the moment she decided “things have to change” — how witnessing suffering led her to re-evaluate what she was accepting in her own life.
[20:45] | A powerful reframing: certainty doesn’t precede action — it’s action that creates certainty. How she moved forward even without knowing the full roadmap.
[25:00] | The triad (physiology / focus / language): how we’re constantly choosing who we show up as, moment by moment; what changes when we shift those three things.
[36:00] | Besa speaks directly to the strong, fiery women (Enneagram 8s, Dynamo DISC, etc.) who have been told they are “too much” — and what it really takes to reclaim and embody your power.
[46:30] | Sowing seeds, patience, momentum: the metaphors that remind us growth is messy, slow, full of “no visible results,” yet unfolding behind what we see.
[50:40] | For the woman at the threshold — the one grieving an emptied nest, unsure who she is without her “roles” — Besa offers the first little actions to step toward possibility.

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“Put a period at the end of the sentence. Evil is evil. Period.”

This week’s episode is deeply personal, raw, and filled with reflection. Originally, I had planned to bring you an inspiring conversation with my coach, Bessa Martini, but after the heartbreaking events in Utah, I felt compelled to speak directly to you from the depths of my soul. This episode is a call for unity, a reminder of our shared humanity, and a challenge to choose love, curiosity, and grace in a time where division is screaming louder than ever.

I invite you into a space of deep contemplation—about how we react to tragedy, how we treat one another in disagreement, and what it means to truly live as a Girl Out of Order. Whether you’ve felt confusion, anger, or heartbreak over recent events, I ask you to walk with me in this episode as we re-center ourselves around compassion, connection, and bold, bridge-building love. No politics. Just humanity. Period.

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"When we treat old stories like safety blankets, we forget they’re actually straight jackets—suffocating our potential and robbing us of joy."

Sisters, this one’s personal. This final episode in the Letting Go When Your Heart Wants to Hold On series may be the most important message I’ve ever shared on the Girl Out of Order podcast. We're peeling back the layers and diving into something that touches every single one of us—our stories. The ones we whisper to ourselves when no one else is listening. The ones that keep us stuck, small, and safe... or so we think.

In this episode, I'm inviting you into a raw and real conversation about the old stories we hold onto like safety blankets, even when they’ve become straight jackets. I walk you through how to identify the BS narratives that no longer serve you, how to challenge them, and most importantly, how to rewrite them. This isn't just about motivation—this is about transformation. You’re holding the pen, sister. So let’s write a new story together.

Timeline Summary:
[2:22] - Why our old stories feel safe—and why they’re secretly suffocating us
[6:45] - From comfort to captivity: How “safety blankets” become straight jackets
[9:38] - The whispers that define our destiny—recognizing the subtle lies we believe
[13:19] - Real-life role models and the power of rewriting your story
[20:28] - Why your story shapes your identity and your possibilities
[24:42] - Tactical tools to name, reframe, and replace your limiting beliefs
[26:57] - Finding mirrors, not echoes: Building a tribe that reflects your greatness [29:14] - How to audit your internal stories and take action toward the life you deserve

Letting go isn't easy, but it is essential. If this series moved you, helped you, or fired you up—please rate, review, follow, and share the Girl Out of Order podcast. Let’s grow this bold, beautiful community of women rewriting their stories and reclaiming their power.

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"Not all friendships are meant to last forever. Some are meant for a season, a reason, but not for life." Christine Gale

This episode of the Girl Out of Order podcast is one that comes straight from my heart to yours. In Episode 3 of our "Letting Go When the Heart Wants to Hold On" series, we're diving into a topic that many women avoid, yet nearly all of us face: letting go of friendships that have simply run their course. These are the losses that rarely come with closure, but often carry deep emotional weight. This conversation is about honoring your evolution, protecting your peace, and embracing the brave act of choosing yourself.

Whether it's a decades-long friendship or a bond that once felt like soul-sisterhood, there comes a time when we have to assess if a relationship still aligns with who we are and where we're headed. I share raw, real stories from my own life, including a powerful reunion after a painful friendship break, and invite you into a space of courageous self-reflection. If you’ve ever felt torn between nostalgia and necessity, this one's for you.

Next week, we’ll wrap up this powerful series with an episode that will challenge you deeply—we’re letting go of our old stories. Until then, keep being the girl out of order the world needs. Love you, sister.

Timeline Summary:

[2:19] - Unpacking the unspoken grief of fading friendships

[4:44] - A neighborhood party sparks honest reflections on female friendship

[7:08] - The power and pain of women's friendships across generations

[9:20] - A personal story of friendship fracture, alignment, and awakening

[13:41] - Are you clinging to who you were, not who you are now?

[17:03] - When a friendship dims your light, it might be time to let go

[18:15] - Grieving the loss of a friendship with grace and honesty

[22:26] - Three steps to evaluate and release relationships that no longer serve you

If this episode touched your heart, please follow, rate, and share it with another parent walking this bittersweet path. Let’s remind each other — letting go is not the end, it’s a new beginning.

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“Build a vision for your life that is bigger than your fear, and watch your courage rise to meet it.”

In part two of our deeply personal series, “Letting Go When the Heart Wants to Hold On,” I’m leaning into one of the most tender, complex, and courageous conversations yet: letting go of an intimate partnership when your heart still clings to love. As a divorce attorney, a wife of nearly 32 years, and a woman who’s been doing the messy, beautiful work of self-discovery, this topic isn’t theoretical for me—it’s lived.

In this episode, I’m not giving you advice or telling you what to do. I’m offering heartfelt invitations—to get honest with yourself, to stop gaslighting your intuition, and to build a courageous vision for the life you truly want. Whether you're questioning your relationship, supporting a friend, or simply evolving into a new version of yourself, this conversation is about choosing alignment over obligation, truth over fear, and growth over stagnation.

This episode is tender. It’s real. And it’s here to remind you that your life is yours to design. If it resonated with you, please rate, follow, review, and share the podcast—it helps us grow this beautiful community of women walking courageously through change. And don’t miss next week’s conversation: letting go of friendships when your heart wants to hold on. It's going to be another soul-deep session.

You are not alone. You are doing amazing. Keep being a Girl Out of Order. 💛

Timeline Summary:
[2:24] - Why I felt compelled to speak on letting go of intimate partnerships
[5:30] - The power of radical honesty: What are you really holding on to?
[9:36] - Stop gaslighting yourself: Listening to your inner knowing
[13:40] - Love vs. alignment: Can you still grow in your current relationship?
[17:46] - Building a vision for your life that’s bigger than your fear
[21:52] - Create a courage container: Why you shouldn’t walk through this alone
[28:33] - A powerful reminder: “I don’t have to decide today”

If this episode touched your heart, please follow, rate, and share it with another parent walking this bittersweet path. Let’s remind each other — letting go is not the end, it’s a new beginning.

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“Letting go doesn’t mean losing them. It means trusting that the love you’ve poured into them will carry them farther than your arms ever could.”

The 1st episode in the new 4-part series, "Letting Go When Your Heart Wants to Hold On" is timely and touching. Letting your college kiddos go is gut wrenching AND a beautiful opportunity to reimagine your gorgeous life.
Over these next few episodes, we’ll explore what it really takes to release the people, relationships, and stories that no longer fit who we are becoming — even when every fiber of our heart wants to cling to the familiar. From relationships to stories, this series is an honest and tender look at how to let go without losing yourself in the process.
In this opening episode, we’re diving into one of the most universal and emotional rites of passage for a parent — sending your child off to college. I share my own journey of navigating the swirl of emotions: the deep pride in who they’re becoming, the ache of their absence, and the surprising ways this transition can awaken a new version of you. Together, we’ll talk about the difference between holding on and staying connected, how to honor your feelings without being consumed by them, and why letting go can be an act of profound love. Buckle up because this series is going to be a gorgeous wake-up call and invitation to own your true identity as you navigate letting go when your heart doesn’t want to. Your compelling life is waiting for you!

If this episode touched your heart, please follow, rate, and share it with another parent walking this bittersweet path. Let’s remind each other — letting go is not the end, it’s a new beginning.

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"God kept me alive, and I’m going to use that gift to make a contribution on this planet." Lauren Finkelstein

What would you do if you stood just steps away from a suicide bombing… and lived? For my friend and fellow badass leader, Lauren Finkelstein, that moment changed everything. In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Lauren shares how surviving both the Sbarro bombing in Jerusalem and the attacks of 9/11 ignited her mission to “Save One Person” — a nonprofit connecting people in need with life-saving organ donors.

From MTV dreams to deep grief, from near-death experiences to matching an 11-year-old girl with the kidney that saved her life, Lauren’s story is a testament to the truth that you don’t have to be perfect to live your purpose. This episode will challenge you to rethink how you show up, how you use your unique skills for good, and how to keep going… even when life gets messy.

Lauren Finkelstein is the founder of SaveOnePerson.org, a nonprofit that uses media to help save lives by connecting people in urgent need of medical miracles and living organ donors with those who can help. With a background in television production and a passion for purpose-driven storytelling, Lauren has turned her skills into a global mission of compassion and impact.

Timeline Highlights:
[1:10] – Recording from a college library: the reality of showing up messy but committed
[2:50] – “A mess with a mission”: Lauren’s raw self-introduction
[7:45] – Surviving the Sbarro suicide bombing — the slow-motion moments and haunting realizations
[16:10] – Declaring a new life purpose… just weeks before witnessing 9/11 firsthand
[22:55] – Why Lauren’s mission focuses on living organ donation
[26:05] – The 11-year-old girl whose life was saved — and how God weaves the details
[31:56] – A “wink from the universe” from MTV’s Kurt Loder
[34:35] – What’s saving Lauren’s life right now: connection, creativity, and community

Find Lauren in ALL the places:

SaveOnePerson.org

TikTok: saveoneperson
Instagram: Save1person
Twitter (personal): @LaurenFinkelst
Twitter (non-profit): @SaveOnePerson
Facebook: Lauren Finkelstein and SaveOnePerson

“Agency is confronting the false narrative that says you’re not enough—and choosing to show up anyway.” – Tammy Quist

In this deeply moving and powerful episode of Girl Out of Order, I sit down with my soul sister and transformational change agent, Tammy Quist. She is not just an educational consultant; she is a catalyst for transformation with over three decades of experience in education, leadership, and team development. Tammy has woven a rich tapestry of impact across diverse settings—from rural classrooms to bustling urban schools as a teacher, mentor, principal, consultant, business owner, community leader, and school board member.

From the moment we met at the True Voice Intensive, I knew Tammy had a message our community needed to hear. What began as an uncertain first impression blossomed into a beautiful friendship built on authenticity, shared purpose, and mutual respect.

Together, we dive into what it truly means to develop agency in our lives—in our kids, our classrooms, and most importantly, ourselves. Tammy brings her wisdom as an educational consultant and leader to illuminate how we can shift from being passive observers of life to active participants. This conversation is a call to action for anyone ready to reclaim their voice, own their worth, and empower others to do the same.

Tammy Quist is the very definition of a Girl Out of Order—bold, unapologetic, and fiercely committed to disrupting the status quo. With over three decades of experience in education, leadership, and team development, Tammy has led transformational change across rural classrooms, urban districts, and boardrooms alike. From teacher to principal, from consultant to community leader, Tammy has worn many hats—but her mission has remained the same: to empower others to rise.

In 2025, Tammy was selected as the BES Fellow for Arizona, where she’s currently designing a revolutionary new high school—set to open in 2027—that will reimagine what’s possible for the next generation of student leaders.

Tammy’s story, her voice, and her vision are a powerful call to women everywhere: Own your power. Lead with heart. And never settle for staying in line when you were born to stand out.

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