Episodios

  • Stuck and Spinning? Call the IDDO

    Stuck and Spinning? Call the IDDO
    Mar 26 2026
    When you know your child needs help, but every phone call leads to more confusion, where do you turn?

    In this DadAbility episode of Finding Common Ground, Steve sits down with Flor Ramirez, Supervising Attorney of New York’s Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities Ombuds Program (IDDO), to talk about a resource many families still do not know exists, and why it matters more than ever.

    Flor pulls back the curtain on what an ombudsman actually does: helping families navigate complicated disability systems, ask the right questions, and get unstuck when nothing seems to move forward.

    “We help you navigate a system that is meant to help you… even when it doesn’t feel that way.”

    As both a leader and a mom of a child with autism, Flor brings something rare to the table, professional expertise and lived experience. She shares how her team listens first, connects the dots, and is not afraid to push when something isn’t working.

    “We’re not afraid to knock on doors and say, ‘This isn’t right… can we fix it?’”

    Steve and Flor also dig into what families are really experiencing right now, the confusion, the delays, the missed connections, and why so much of it comes down to a system that is complex, not always clear. Together, they explore how better education, stronger collaboration, and honest feedback can start to shift that experience.

    This conversation is real, practical, and quietly powerful. It is for parents who are tired of hitting walls, tired of being told “no” without explanation, and ready to understand where help may actually begin.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    41 m
  • Her Mother Refused the Institution… The Rest Is History

    Her Mother Refused the Institution… The Rest Is History
    Mar 19 2026
    They told Loretta Claiborne’s mother there were places for children like her.

    Her mother said no.

    Instead, she raised Loretta with grit, dignity, and sky-high expectations. Even when Loretta struggled with motor skills and had to crawl to the table and pull herself up, her mother insisted on good manners.

    No elbows on the table.

    Why? Because someday, she said, Loretta might be eating with the president.

    She ended up meeting six of them.

    In this unforgettable episode of Finding Common Ground, Loretta shares the kind of story that makes people rethink what is possible. From the moment her mother refused institutionalization to the breakthrough that changed everything, when little Loretta called out her mother’s name for the first time, this conversation is filled with the moments that prove what can happen when someone believes in you before the world does.

    Loretta takes us through the tough love that shaped her, the counselor who pushed her toward Special Olympics, and the path that eventually led her to become a globally respected athlete, advocate, and speaker.

    Today she has met six U.S. presidents, and in this episode she even tells us which one she enjoyed spending time with the most.

    But what makes Loretta remarkable is not just what she achieved. It is how she lives. Helping neighbors shovel snow, pushing cars out of icy streets, knitting for babies and women she will likely never meet. Still showing us what persistence, dignity, and community look like in action.

    As Loretta reminds us:
    “Never let nobody underestimate the power of you.”

    And one lesson her mother made sure she learned early:
    “If you quit today, you’ll always be quitting.”

    This is an episode about refusing to accept limits, setting the bar high, and the life-changing power of expecting more.


    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    35 m
  • Can the System Catch Up Before Parent Shot Clocks Run Out?

    Can the System Catch Up Before Parent Shot Clocks Run Out?
    Mar 12 2026
    Families are often expected to hold everything together, yet too often they are treated like outsiders instead of experts. In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Steve sits down with OPWDD Commissioner Willow Baer for an honest conversation about what happens when families are carrying modern challenges inside a service system still shaped by outdated rules.

    One of the most powerful moments in the conversation comes when Willow reflects on the role families have always played in driving change:
    “Families are the largest unpaid workforce in the disability service system.”

    Steve presses on the urgency many parents feel every day, asking the question that sits in the back of so many families’ minds:
    “What happens to our kids when we’re not around anymore?”

    Together they explore the tension families face every day. Housing uncertainty, healthcare access, dual diagnoses, and the challenge of building flexible supports in a system that was never designed for today’s level of need.

    At the center of the conversation is a bigger truth. Families are already doing the work. The real question is whether systems can evolve quickly enough to meet them where they are.

    If you have ever felt like families are carrying the system while waiting for it to evolve, this episode will resonate.


    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    42 m
  • Building Safety When the System Fails (Part 2)

    Building Safety When the System Fails (Part 2)
    Feb 27 2026
    If you suspect abuse, what do you do first, and how do you prove it?
    Part 2 shifts from systems analysis to step-by-step strategy. This is a must-listen for any family navigating OPWDD services, residential care, or crisis supports.Anil breaks down the practical actions parents can take immediately:
    • How to document concerns so they hold up legally
    • Why organization, timelines, and written notice matter
    • When to speak publicly and when to wait
    • How criminal cases and civil cases intersect
    • What “zealous advocacy” actually looks like in practiceWe discuss New York’s one-party consent law, evidence collection, and how to avoid unintentionally damaging your own case while trying to protect your child.We also explore:
    • The role of the IDDO Ombuds program and other state resources
    • How to support good DSPs while removing harmful ones
    • Burnout, staffing realities, and why calling is not enough without support
    • Parent-led housing models, economies of scale, and the funding inequities between self-direction and certified settings
    • The vision for Safe Care homes and a Foundation for Hope to close funding gaps for families without financial meansThis episode brings us back to the question every family carries:
    What happens to our children when we are no longer here?The answer isn’t waiting for the system to fix itself. It’s building structures, communities, and safeguards now.We close with a reminder that defines this entire series:
    No one is coming to save us. We are the cavalry.


    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    19 m
  • Building Safety When the System Fails (Part 1)

    Building Safety When the System Fails (Part 1)
    Feb 27 2026
    “If the system only works when parents are silent, it was never built to protect our kids.”
    What happens after the headlines fade, but the fear doesn’t?

    Anil Babbar returns to FCG and we move beyond the shock and into what families are actually forced to do to keep their children safe. This is not about outrage. It is about strategy. We talk about why parents end up thinking like investigators, how documentation becomes protection, and why the words you choose in an email can matter more than the emotions you feel in the moment. Anger might be justified, but evidence wins cases.

    This episode is a roadmap:
    • What to do when something feels off
    • How to document without escalating risk
    • How to protect your child and your case at the same time
    • When to put people on notice and how to do it effectively

    Then we zoom out to the bigger question. What would real safety look like if families helped design the system? We dig into parent-led housing, funding structures, and the economics that keep better models out of reach. Anil shares the vision behind SafeCare, a framework built on transparency, accountability, and partnership with caregivers and DSPs who want to do this work the right way. We also name the tension that often gets ignored. Good DSPs are working inside broken structures. Real reform has to protect them too, not just the people they support.

    “We are not just fighting for services. We are fighting for proof that our children are safe when we are not in the room.”

    This is a conversation about courage, but also about the long game. Building systems that will still be standing when families are no longer there to oversee them. “This isn’t advocacy for today. This is survival planning for the day we’re gone.”

    Connect with Anil: SafeCare: www.safecarecs.com

    Additional Media coverage:
    NY Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/21/nyregion/anderson-autism-center-suit.html
    FOX 5 investigation: https://www.fox5ny.com/news/autism-facility-faces-abuse-allegations-after-shocking-video-surfaces

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    31 m
  • Making It Right When Transition Feels Wrong

    Making It Right When Transition Feels Wrong
    Feb 19 2026
    If you have ever walked into a CSE meeting and thought, I don’t even know what to ask for, this episode is for you.

    Heather and Steve are joined by Sara DeFazio, a Transition Specialist with New York State’s Central Region Partnership Center, and she keeps it real.

    This is a fast, practical conversation about what happens when transition plans look fine on paper but miss the mark in real life. Sara names the patterns families recognize immediately. People get underestimated. Teams default to familiar vocational paths. Parents sense something is off, but are unsure how to stop the momentum.

    We break down what transition planning is actually supposed to do, why it starts at age 12, and how to use the process as a tool instead of letting it become paperwork. We also talk about why so-called unrealistic goals are often clues, not problems, and how asking better questions can open real paths forward.

    This episode also includes a real-world scenario families and districts may be grappling with: What happens when a nonspeaking student who has begun spelling wants to use transition time to practice typing, so she can communicate in real time? What happens when the goal is to build age‑level academic skills and reach for something bigger, like earning a GED?

    Our conversation digs into what happens when teams feel unsure how to support goals like these, worry about what is allowed, or default to safer, more familiar vocational options instead. Sara helps unpack how schools can honor ambitious goals without breaking rules, and why uncertainty should never automatically lead to underestimation.

    This episode will help you walk into your next meeting clearer, more confident, and better prepared to advocate.

    Find your New York State Partnership Center and resource map: https://map.osepartnership.org

    Learn more about NYS Regional Partnership Centers and Family and Community Engagement Centers: https://osepartnership.org/about

    Learn more about the Finding Common Ground (FCG) platform at https://www.fcgadvocacy.org.

    FCG is more than a podcast. We are changing the way advocacy is done by showing families, professionals, and policymakers how finding common ground is how we find what’s worth doing.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    48 m
  • Teaching Independence Without Throwing Graduates Off "The Cliff"

    Teaching Independence Without Throwing Graduates Off "The Cliff"
    Feb 12 2026
    When school ends, the bus stops coming, and traditional transition options do not feel like the right fit, what comes next? In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Heather and Steve talk with Brad Herron-Valenzuela from First Place Phoenix about what it really takes to build independence without “sink or swim” thinking, and the importance of not underestimating people.

    Brad shares what has worked, what has changed, and why true independence is not an event but a process of teaching, practicing, and supporting growth over time. Marking the 10-year anniversary of the First Place Transition Academy program, he describes “how many firsts” their graduates experience, first paycheck, first time riding the bus or light rail, first time living away from home, even first time missing a stop or losing a backpack, and why those real-world mistakes are essential to learning.

    Brad also explains how a program that once required families to pay fully out of pocket began to shift when outcomes were measured and tracked over time. As data showed meaningful progress, including long-term gains in independence and quality of life, insurance coverage for clinical components became possible. It was not because of marketing, but because evidence changed the conversation.

    This episode is not about promoting a single program or suggesting there is one solution that fits every person. It is about noticing what works, understanding the underlying formula, and recognizing that some tools already exist. Learn4Independence®, a core component of the First Place Transition Academy, is a 32-course curriculum developed for adults with autism that focuses on independent living skills and career readiness. Unique curriculum elements accommodate various learning differences and incorporate universally designed instruction adaptable to community and cultural needs.

    We talk openly about the emotional weight families carry, the feeling of the clock ticking, and why simply placing someone in an apartment or program is not enough. Skills have to be taught, practiced, and reinforced in real life. Independence is not an event, it is a process.

    Learn4Independence is a certified, evidence-informed curriculum that states and school districts can explore, adapt, and implement. With that context, the episode asks a powerful question: Now that you know approaches like this exist, what might you advocate for in your own state, region, or community? Families should not have to invent the future from scratch. Sometimes the work is recognizing proven ideas, adapting them locally, and pushing systems to invest in what truly moves people forward.

    🔗 Links Referenced in This Episode

    First Place Transition Academy:
    https://firstplaceaz.org/transition-academy/

    Transition Academy Discover Day Guide:
    https://firstplaceaz.org/transition-academy/discover-day-guide/

    Learn4Independence Life Skills Curriculum:
    https://firstplaceglobal.org/employment/learn4independence/

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    43 m
  • When Your Parents Foster Nearly 200 Kids...

    When Your Parents Foster Nearly 200 Kids...
    Feb 5 2026
    This episode is the first one of our new FCG spin-off series called, The Mother Load and we started out with a bang! Heather sits with her co-host Steve’s daughter, Rachel, and digs into what it was really like growing up in a home where her parents fostered nearly 200 children. She speaks candidly about the chaos, the compassion, and the moments that tested everything, answering the question many people quietly wonder:

    How do parents open their home to nearly 200 children and still make sure their own kids feel seen, secure, and deeply loved?

    Rachel grew up sharing her parents, her space, and her childhood with hundreds of children who arrived carrying trauma, fear, and hope. Some stayed briefly. Others became family forever.

    In this conversation, Rachel reflects on what it meant to move from “the baby” to “the big sister,” the times generosity stretched a household thin, and how understanding trauma reshaped the way she saw anger, fairness, and belonging.

    This episode isn’t about foster care from the system’s point of view. It’s about life inside the home, and how intentional parenting, communication, and love make it possible to expand care without losing connection.

    The Mother Load is a Finding Common Ground spin-off for caregivers, daughters, and the people carrying the unseen emotional load.

    This is where those stories finally get airtime. Come Tired. Leave Empowered.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    38 m