Release Date: 2025
Runtime: ~30 minutes
Audio Format: Immersive fiction – comedy, Americana, absurdity
Recommended Listening: Stereo headphones encouraged for full dramatic overreaction
Episode Summary
John (Dusty) returns to Maple Gump Park fully recharged, overconfident, and once again embracing his self-appointed detective persona: Clue-dini. The familiar benches, paths, and long-monitored squirrel population feel like home court—until something deeply unsettling appears in Clarence’s Booth of Booths.
A dead squirrel.
On the table.
In the booth.
What begins as a quiet park visit erupts into a full-blown criminal investigation complete with unnecessary dramatic stings, wildly circumstantial evidence, and a rapidly expanding list of suspects.
As Clue-dini assembles the cast—Curtis (and Nut-Zilla), Doctor Bobby, Doctor Freudy, and the rhinestone-heavy arrival of Suzy and Umie—the park transforms into a parody of a classic whodunit. Evidence is scribbled down. Accusations fly. Reality struggles to keep up.
Between syringe sightings, rye bread crumbs, mechanical footprints, and suspicious rhinestones, John lays out his case with Name, Weapon, and Location… just like the great classics. Unfortunately, facts, biology, and common sense keep interfering.
Voices You’ll Hear
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John (Dusty) – self-declared detective, squirrel profiler, and man deeply in love with his own process
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Fred (Farts) – reluctant assistant, voice of reason, and chronic deflator of nonsense
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Hope – narrator, referee of logic, and survivor of excessive dramatic stings
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Curtis – engineer, Nut-Zilla pilot, and unexpectedly responsible squirrel advocate
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Doctor Bobby – medical professional, rye bread distributor, and accidental squirrel dentist
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Doctor Freudy – compact psychoanalyst with snacks, notebooks, and deeply misunderstood motives
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Suzy & Umie – rhinestone arrivals whose accessories may or may not constitute evidence
Sound Stage
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Maple Gump Park – gravel paths, rustling trees, distant park ambience, and a booth turned crime scene
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Clarence’s Booth of Booths – now repurposed as an investigative headquarters with zero jurisdiction
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The Gathering – mechanical footsteps, air brakes, tiny engines, roaring Aztecs, and overlapping accusations
Sound & Style
Overproduced dramatic stings (intentionally), overlapping transitions, park ambience, mechanical sound design, and exaggerated detective cues layered over classic Dusty Farts banter. Americana absurdity collides with parody mystery, resulting in tension, confusion, and entirely too much confidence.
For New Listeners
This episode stands on its own, but it lands harder if you’re familiar with John’s ongoing battle with squirrels and his brief, ill-advised rise as Clue-dini. Start with Episode 1 for booths and banter, then circle back here when you’re ready for an investigation that never asked to exist.
Credits
Written, scored, and produced by Brian Clark — brewed with screen reader wizardry, a microphone, park ambience, and an aggressive discount at the dramatic sting store.
If you enjoy this content, don’t forget to check out Brian’s other podcasts, Chatbot Chronicles and VoiceOver Tutorial.