Release Date: 2025

Runtime: ~30 minutes

Audio Format: Immersive fiction – comedy, Americana, absurdity

Recommended Listening: Stereo headphones encouraged for full dramatic overreaction

Episode Summary

John (Dusty) returns to Maple Gump Park fully recharged, overconfident, and once again embracing his self-appointed detective persona: Clue-dini. The familiar benches, paths, and long-monitored squirrel population feel like home court—until something deeply unsettling appears in Clarence’s Booth of Booths.

A dead squirrel.

On the table.

In the booth.

What begins as a quiet park visit erupts into a full-blown criminal investigation complete with unnecessary dramatic stings, wildly circumstantial evidence, and a rapidly expanding list of suspects.

As Clue-dini assembles the cast—Curtis (and Nut-Zilla), Doctor Bobby, Doctor Freudy, and the rhinestone-heavy arrival of Suzy and Umie—the park transforms into a parody of a classic whodunit. Evidence is scribbled down. Accusations fly. Reality struggles to keep up.

Between syringe sightings, rye bread crumbs, mechanical footprints, and suspicious rhinestones, John lays out his case with Name, Weapon, and Location… just like the great classics. Unfortunately, facts, biology, and common sense keep interfering.

Voices You’ll Hear

•

John (Dusty) – self-declared detective, squirrel profiler, and man deeply in love with his own process

•

Fred (Farts) – reluctant assistant, voice of reason, and chronic deflator of nonsense

•

Hope – narrator, referee of logic, and survivor of excessive dramatic stings

•

Curtis – engineer, Nut-Zilla pilot, and unexpectedly responsible squirrel advocate

•

Doctor Bobby – medical professional, rye bread distributor, and accidental squirrel dentist

•

Doctor Freudy – compact psychoanalyst with snacks, notebooks, and deeply misunderstood motives

•

Suzy & Umie – rhinestone arrivals whose accessories may or may not constitute evidence

Sound Stage

•

Maple Gump Park – gravel paths, rustling trees, distant park ambience, and a booth turned crime scene

•

Clarence’s Booth of Booths – now repurposed as an investigative headquarters with zero jurisdiction

•

The Gathering – mechanical footsteps, air brakes, tiny engines, roaring Aztecs, and overlapping accusations

Sound & Style

Overproduced dramatic stings (intentionally), overlapping transitions, park ambience, mechanical sound design, and exaggerated detective cues layered over classic Dusty Farts banter. Americana absurdity collides with parody mystery, resulting in tension, confusion, and entirely too much confidence.

For New Listeners

This episode stands on its own, but it lands harder if you’re familiar with John’s ongoing battle with squirrels and his brief, ill-advised rise as Clue-dini. Start with Episode 1 for booths and banter, then circle back here when you’re ready for an investigation that never asked to exist.

Credits

Written, scored, and produced by Brian Clark — brewed with screen reader wizardry, a microphone, park ambience, and an aggressive discount at the dramatic sting store.

If you enjoy this content, don’t forget to check out Brian’s other podcasts, Chatbot Chronicles and VoiceOver Tutorial.

Release Date: December 2025

Runtime: ~20 minutes

Audio Format: Immersive fiction – comedy, Americana, absurdity

Recommended Listening: Stereo headphones encouraged for best sparkle dispersion

Episode Summary

Welcome to Sparkle & Snark Studio, where rhinestones outnumber common sense and restraint was politely shown the door.

In this pilot episode of Chatty Tarts, Suzy (with a Y) and Umie step out from the long shadow of Maple Grove’s booths and into a world powered by glue guns, glitter fumes, and unapologetic confidence. What starts as a simple creative workspace quickly becomes a fully operational sparkle command center—complete with questionable crafting decisions, enthusiastic overconfidence, and a complete disregard for cleanup protocols.

Hope narrates as the Tarts establish their territory, define their aesthetic philosophy (“ignore restraint and make it beautiful”), and make it very clear that this show is not about moderation, minimalism, or doing things halfway. Along the way, familiar Maple Grove energy seeps in, reminding listeners that while this may be a new corner of town, chaos remains a shared civic value.

This is a pilot about ownership—of space, of style, and of the right to bedazzle first and ask questions never.

Voices You’ll Hear

• Suzy (with a Y) – glitter-forward visionary, creative tornado, allergic to subtlety

• Umie – grounding force, co-conspirator, quietly enabling sparkle crimes

• Hope – narrator, dry-eyed witness to escalating rhinestone nonsense

Sound Stage

• Sparkle & Snark Studio – glue guns clicking, rhinestones skittering across worktables, fabric rustling, magical twinkles, and the faint hum of bad ideas becoming permanent

Sound & Style

Immersive stereo with craft-room textures, whimsical transitions, sparkle-heavy accents, and playful musical cues. The tone blends confident chaos with Americana absurdity—lighter, shinier, and louder than the booths, but cut from the same Maple Grove cloth.

For New Listeners

No prior Dusty Farts knowledge required. Chatty Tarts is designed as a clean entry point into the universe—same narrator, same town, wildly different energy. If you enjoy this episode, you can jump backward to Dusty Farts Episode 1 for booths and burnt coffee, or forward with the Tarts as they build something louder, shinier, and possibly permanent.

Credits

Written, scored, and produced by Brian Clark — powered by screen reader wizardry, creative stubbornness, and an irresponsible quantity of rhinestones.

If you enjoy this content, don’t forget to check out Brian’s other podcasts, Chatbot Chronicles and VoiceOver Tutorial.

Release Date: November 2025

Runtime: ~18 minutes

Audio Format: Immersive fiction – comedy, Americana, absurdity

Recommended Listening: Stereo headphones for full blood-bus immersion

Episode Summary

It’s Tuesday in Maple Grove, which can only mean one thing: the blood bus has arrived, bringing with it free coffee, dusty cookies, and enough medical confusion to qualify as an Olympic sport. John (Dusty) shows up buzzing with newfound confidence after “unlocking” a diagnostic talent he calls Clue-dini — a skill that terrifies Fred (Farts), irritates Hope, and confuses everyone else.

Inside the bus, Dr. Bobby is running at three espressos and one questionable muffin, proudly unveiling his latest scientific initiative: The Dough Division, a team of basement hobbyists creating experimental rye bread so dense it briefly lowers IQ.

Gigi arrives to deliver the R-word of the day.

Hope narrates the spiral as the Old Farts Corner becomes ground zero for Clue-dini guesses, candy-based emergencies, rye-bread philosophy, and the kind of small-town nonsense that makes Tuesday the most dangerous day of the week.

Voices You’ll Hear

• John (Dusty) – self-appointed medical mystic with a brand-new overinflated ego

• Fred (Farts) – cookie victim, skeptic of all diagnostics, and Old Farts Corner loyalist

• Hope – narrator, composed observer, and keeper of Maple Grove sanity

• Dr. Bobby – espresso-powered physician, rye-bread innovator, and peppermint-breath surgeon

• Lyle – Jiffy Lube correspondent and practical witness to Jiffy Bread’s industrial uses

• Dr. Fritz (Dr. Freudy Enslip) – still trapped in Mini-Freudy mode, practitioner of fun-sized psychology

• Curtis – candy-powered man-child with teenage ailments and boundless confidence

• Gigi – teacher of the R-word, arriving just in time to label Curtis’ condition

Sound Stage

• The Blood Bus – narrow aisles, metallic footsteps, clanking equipment, thin paper cups, squeaky recliners

• Old Farts Corner – mismatched chairs, cookie shrapnel, diagnostic whispering, and Fred’s ongoing dental trauma

Sound & Style

Immersive stereo mix featuring bus ambience, coffee pours, harmonica wipes, and the chaotic clatter of improvised medicine. Americana warmth blends with medical absurdity — a Tuesday symphony of misguided diagnostics, dubious remedies, and rye-bread science.

For New Listeners

Start with Episode 1 for the origins of booths, bacon, and burnt coffee — but Drip, Drip, Horray! stands beautifully on its own as a perfect example of Maple Grove’s unpredictable blood-bus tradition. If you love small-town chaos stirred with caffeine and questionable medical advice, this is a great place to jump in.

Credits

Written, scored, and produced by Brian Clark — brewed with screen-reader wizardry, a microphone, and enough espresso to power Dr. Bobby for an entire fiscal quarter.

If you enjoy this episode, don’t forget to explore Brian’s other podcasts: Chatbot Chronicles and VoiceOver Tutorial — each crafted with the same blend of humor, chaos, and heart.