Is it really codependency… or are you just craving safety after betrayal?

In this episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage therapist and host of the Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction Podcast, unpacks one of the most misunderstood topics in relationships impacted by pornography: codependency.

If you've ever felt “too needy” for reassurance, or struggled to reconnect after your spouse’s porn use, this conversation will help you understand what's really happening beneath the surface — and how to break the cycle.

You'll learn:

• Why porn addiction creates deep attachment wounds in marriage

• The difference between codependent behavior and healthy reassurance-seeking

• How emotional insecurity shows up after betrayal (and what to do instead)

• A step-by-step example of how couples shift from defensiveness to vulnerability

• How to ask for reassurance in a way that builds emotional safety and trust

• The real reason “talking about it” often leads to shutdowns and fights — and how to change that

Whether you're a husband trying to rebuild trust or a wife wondering if you're too much, this episode offers powerful insights and practical steps to heal the damage, stop the reactivity, and reconnect from a place of honesty and strength.

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use?

Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship!

Summertime can be one of the hardest seasons for men working to overcome porn addiction, stay sexually grounded, and rebuild trust in their marriage. With more revealing clothing and constant visual stimulation, many husbands feel guilt and frustration — while their wives feel fear, insecurity, and anxiety.

In this powerful episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage and family therapist and expert in porn addiction recovery, unpacks how to handle triggers without shame, how to lead your mind instead of being led by it, and how to create emotional safety in your relationship — even when temptation is everywhere.

You’ll learn:

• Why visual triggers aren’t actually the problem (and what is)

• How to redirect your attention without suppressing desire

• What real sexual mastery looks like (and how to build it)

• Practical steps to regain focus and emotional control in public settings

• How to reassure your wife and rebuild trust through open leadership

Whether you're trying to stop porn, navigate sexual triggers in marriage, or become the kind of man who stays grounded under pressure — this episode will give you the tools to stand firm like a pier in the waves.

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use?

Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship!

Why Stress Triggers Porn Addiction — And How to Break the Pattern

If you struggle with porn addiction and find yourself relapsing whenever life gets stressful or overwhelming, this episode is for you.

Sam Tielemans, licensed therapist and expert in porn addiction recovery, reveals the hidden link between stress and pornography use — and how to break the cycle for good.

You’ll discover:

• Why stress and overwhelm often trigger porn urges
• How your brain becomes conditioned to seek porn as an emotional escape
• The 5-step framework to stop using porn as a coping mechanism
• How to handle stress without turning to pornography
• Real client examples of men who rewired their patterns and overcame relapse
• How to start rebuilding trust in your marriage after porn use

Whether you’re trying to quit porn, overcome chronic porn relapses, or heal your relationship from the damage porn has caused, this episode will give you a clear, actionable path forward.

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use?

Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship!

Welcome back! This is part three of a three-part series to help you make real progress on your healing journey.

In the first episode, we talked about five key skills every man needs to stop using porn. In the second episode, we looked at five relationship skills that help couples rebuild trust and feel close again.

Today, I want to share a simple framework that shows why people get stuck—and how to move forward faster. When I work with someone, I look for what’s in the way of their progress. It usually comes down to one of two things:

1. A knowledge gap – they don’t know what to do.

2. An emotional block – they do know what to do, but something inside stops them from doing it.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through three real-life problems couples often deal with, and show you how this framework can help you figure out your next steps.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship!

In today’s episode, we’re diving into five essential skills that will help you and your partner heal and grow after being impacted by pornography use.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure where to begin in the recovery process—or if you’re willing to do the work but just need direction—this episode is for you.

You’ll learn about practical, proven skills that have helped hundreds of couples make real progress and strengthen their relationship, no matter what stage you’re in.

These five skills can help you take the next step forward on your journey to healing together.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship!

Struggling with porn use isn't about who you are—it's about the approach you've been using. Fighting urges after they appear is too late.

The key is learning skills to prevent the first domino from falling. When you handle what causes porn use before urges start, freedom becomes possible.

In this 3-part series, I'll cover skills to overcome porn use, rebuild relationships, and implement these changes effectively.

Today's episode shares five core skills for men to break free. For women listening, seeing your partner work on these will bring you peace.

Focus on what happens before the urge, not just on avoiding slips. True recovery means addressing what occurs five steps before temptation begins.

Additional resource: A deeper dive on identifying and resolving the root cause:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7uBQEvCU7lxrHQkKmZFc4x?si=nYbUO_MOS1y-Gdw9r-NI0A

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Today we're talking about something couples rarely discuss: when a husband's interest in sex drops after he stops using porn.

For wives, this can feel very confusing and hurtful. After working hard to heal the relationship, it's painful when intimacy doesn't return as expected. She might wonder, "Doesn't he find me attractive? Is he really getting better?"

But lower sexual desire after recovery isn't always a bad sign. It's often part of a necessary reset in understanding healthy intimacy.

The drive for sex that was powered by fantasy starts to quiet down, creating space for real connection to grow.

Today I'll share five reasons why desire decreases during recovery and how couples can build a fulfilling sex life based on both people's needs, emotional safety, and genuine connection.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

In this episode, I'll show you my easy three-step plan to help you stop watching porn for good.

Many people think they just need to try harder to resist urges or avoid things that trigger them. But fighting these urges all the time is exhausting, and you're always worried about slipping up again.

I want to teach you a better way.

Instead of just fighting urges, we can find out why they happen in the first place and fix that problem.

As a therapist, I've helped hundreds of men on their journey to quit pornography. The ones who stay free for years are those who use this simple plan.

Today you'll learn:

• Why fighting urges doesn't work (and it's not your fault)
• My three steps that get to the real cause of the problem
• Tools you can start using today

This isn't about using more willpower. It's about understanding that urges are like messages telling you what really needs healing in your life.

You can find real freedom without having to fight against yourself every day.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.