Have you ever noticed how easy it is to stay in painful patterns—even when you know they're hurting you? In this powerful episode, we explore why pain becomes a "home base" for so many people, how depression and emotional suffering can feel safer than joy, and what it actually takes to break free.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why homeostasis keeps us returning to painful patterns (even when we desperately want change)
• The psychological phenomenon of anhedonia—the inability to experience joy—and how to recognize it in your own life
• How pain can become a badge of honor and part of your identity
• The three essential ingredients for lasting transformation: pattern disruption, new environment, and time
• Why all eight core emotions (including pain AND joy) are designed to protect and guide you
• Real stories of radical pattern breaking—from career changes to selling everything and starting over
• How to recognize when you're living in emotional survival mode versus thriving

Key insights from this episode:

Glenn shares his experience of living with depression as his baseline for decades, where his daily goal was to "claw my way up to zero." Phyllis reveals the moment she knew their marriage pattern had to break—when she told Glenn to quit his construction job and go back to school, even though she'd never supported the family before.

Tera opens up about her own relationship with pain, realizing she wore it as a badge of honor—even laughing through physical pain because she wanted to be seen as strong, not weak.

The message of pain is simple: there's a problem. But too many of us have become numb to it, accepting suffering as "just the way it is." This episode will help you identify where pain has become your comfort zone and give you the courage to disrupt the pattern.

Keywords: emotional health, mental health, depression recovery, marriage transformation, breaking patterns, emotional regulation, identity crisis, joy and pain balance, relationship coaching, emotional processing, therapy tools, mental wellness, overcoming depression, emotional awareness, self-discovery

Resources mentioned:

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• School of Connection (starts Jan 20): www.connectioncodes.co/school

What if the "temper tantrums" in your life—whether from your kids, your partner, or even yourself—aren't misbehavior at all, but a desperate cry to be heard?

In this episode, Dr. Glenn Hill and Tera Wages unpack a powerful truth: our emotions are pitching a temper tantrum when they're not being acknowledged. From the three-year-old crying over a scraped knee to the adult who shuts down completely, we explore what happens when our emotional energy is resisted instead of received.

In This Episode:

• Why saying "you're okay" to a crying child creates two problems instead of solving one
• How emotional resistance shows up differently in adults (yelling, shutting down, or exploding)
• The powerful three-phrase framework that stops tantrums in their tracks
• Real stories of transformation when couples learn to follow each other's energy
• Why our culture teaches us that suppressing emotions is mature (and why it's actually destroying us)

Whether you're parenting young children, navigating marriage conflict, or trying to understand your own emotional patterns, this episode will help you recognize when energy is being resisted—and how to create connection instead.

Key Concepts:

• Emotional regulation and emotional health
• The "ooh" response and following energy
• Temper tantrums in children and adults
• Marriage communication and conflict resolution
• Parenting with emotional intelligence
• Mental health and self-awareness
• Leadership through emotional presence

Resources Mentioned:

• Connection Codes Three-Phrase Magnet (available on our website)
• The Core Emotion Wheel
• Foundations Course

Ready to stop resisting and start connecting? This episode will change how you see every "temper tantrum" in your life.

Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
Book a Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

What if the secret to actually starting fresh in 2026 isn't about making better resolutions—but about stopping to process what 2025 is trying to tell you?

In this transformative year-end episode, marriage and family therapist Dr. Glenn Hill shares why he loves Mondays, New Year's, and fresh starts—and the framework that makes them actually work. Glenn and his wife Phyllis get vulnerable about their year of burnout, chronic pain, and the pivotal moments that changed everything. Tera Wages guides them through a reflection process that goes beyond surface-level goal-setting to create real, lasting transformation.

You'll discover:

• The "Monday Mindset" approach to fresh starts that actually creates change
• Why your high pain tolerance is keeping you stuck (and how to recognize it)
• The year-end reflection framework: what went well, what didn't, and what to do about it
• How to stop the cycle of ignoring pain and hoping things will "just get better"
• The difference between processing pain and managing pain (one leads to breakthrough, one leads to burnout)
• Why "letting bygones be bygones" guarantees you'll repeat the same patterns in 2026
• How to identify what to replicate vs. what to eliminate as you enter the new year

Key Topics: New Year goals, fresh starts, emotional health, mental health, marriage counseling, burnout recovery, chronic pain management, year-end reflection, goal setting, emotional intelligence, relationship coaching, leadership development, self-care, mental wellness, therapy tools, emotional processing, work-life balance, New Year's resolutions alternative

Powerful Moments:

• Glenn opens up about barely celebrating the holidays a year ago due to burnout—and where he is today
• Phyllis shares her journey from standing at the Grand Canyon unable to walk to reclaiming her body and future
• The "hot stove competition" analogy that will change how you view pain tolerance forever
• Why Echo's confrontation became the catalyst for Phyllis's transformation
• The truth about psycholation (psychological isolation) and why "don't air your dirty laundry" is destroying us
• How Connection Codes is expanding in 2026 with the School of Connection and more in-person events

The Framework:

1. Look backward - What went well? (Find your bullseye to replicate)
2. Process the pain - What didn't go well? (Identify what needs to shift)
3. Take action - What specific steps will eliminate the pain and pour gas on what's working?

Resources Mentioned:

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• School of Connection (Enrollment Open - Starts Jan 20): https://www.connectioncodes.co/school-of-connection
• Clarity Reset (Perfect for fresh starts): https://www.connectioncodes.co/clarity-reset
• Foundations Masterclass: https://www.connectioncodes.co/foundations

If you're tired of the same cycle of New Year's resolutions that fade by February, this episode will give you the Monday Mindset framework to make 2026 actually different. Because fresh starts only work when you stop ignoring what your emotions are telling you.

Connect with us:Instagram: @connectioncodesWebsite: www.connectioncodes.co

What do a silver Christmas tree, a shrimp ring, and a pen from a Pringles can all have in common? They're all part of the wild, wonderful, and sometimes ridiculous Christmas journey of Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill!

In this fun and festive episode, Glenn, Phyllis, and Tera open up about their favorite Christmas traditions—from Phyllis's magical German childhood with St. Nicholas bringing candlelit trees on Christmas Eve, to Glenn's silver tree with a spinning color wheel, to their hilariously humble first married Christmas together. They share how they've created over-the-top holiday magic for their kids and now 12 grandkids, including elaborate scavenger hunts, cousin extravaganzas, and Glenn's famous Christmas plays.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Phyllis's German Christmas traditions (so different from American ones!)
• Glenn's confession about thinking Velveeta was "real cheese"
• Their first married Christmas story (you won't believe what they gave each other)
• The legendary "shrimp ring years" their kids still talk about
• How they create magical experiences for 12 grandkids
• The evolution of their family Christmas celebrations
• What happens when your adult kids start their own traditions
• Everyone's favorite Christmas songs, foods, and movies

Perfect for: Anyone who loves Christmas, families creating traditions, parents and grandparents who go all-out for the holidays, anyone curious about international Christmas celebrations, couples building their own family culture

Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Keywords: Christmas traditions, holiday memories, family celebrations, German Christmas, creating family traditions, grandparenting, Christmas magic, holiday joy, marriage and family, festive season, cultural differences, Christmas stories

Why do the same moments bring one person joy and another person pain? And how can we stop letting those differences destroy our relationships?

In this powerful episode, Glenn, Phyllis, and Tera unpack a transformative truth: we all enter the same situations with completely different backstories, and those differences create conflict faster than anything else—especially during the holidays.

Tera shares a vulnerable story about feeling hurt by Glenn's teasing, only to discover they have polar opposite beliefs about what jokes mean. Glenn grew up believing you only joke about things that aren't true, while Tera learned that every joke contains truth. Same behavior. Completely different experiences.

Glenn and Phyllis walk through real-life examples—from music preferences to days off—showing how our childhood experiences shape what brings us joy or pain today. They share practical tools for conveying your experience without attacking your partner, and how to create curiosity instead of conflict.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why the holidays amplify relational disconnection (and how to navigate family gatherings without losing yourself)
• The simple phrase that stops emotional flooding before it creates an "emotional dam"
• How one couple discovered why the husband's day off was his most dysregulated day of the week
• Why saying "I felt hurt" is completely different than "that hurt me"
• The secret to making space for both people's experiences without anyone being "wrong"
• How to recognize when you're losing your identity and what to do about it

Featured Story: A client discovers his day off triggers fear because he doesn't know his worth outside of work—and the powerful moment when he finds himself through the Core Emotion Wheel.

This episode will transform how you approach conflict, whether it's with your spouse, your kids, your coworkers, or your extended family. Because the goal isn't to change what you like or agree on everything—it's to see each other.

Resources mentioned:

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Programs referenced:

• Clarity Reset (for identity work and emotion processing): https://www.connectioncodes.co/clarity-reset
• Foundations Masterclass: https://www.connectioncodes.co/foundations
• Late Night Program: https://www.connectioncodes.co/late-night

What if the real problem isn't being alone, but feeling alone when someone's standing right in front of you?

In this powerful conversation, we're diving deep into one of the most misunderstood emotions: loneliness. Dr. Glenn and Phyllis just returned from an incredible journey through Europe, and they're sharing fresh insights about what loneliness actually is, why it's so damaging to our health, and most importantly—what actually helps.

Here's what might surprise you: the solution to loneliness isn't being around more people. In fact, you can feel most lonely in a crowded room, at a family dinner, or even lying next to your spouse.

This episode will help you understand why relational absence is far more painful than geographical absence, and how the "still face" we give each other—even unintentionally—creates chronic pain that affects our marriages, parenting, and overall wellbeing.

You'll hear a jaw-dropping story about a dad who went home from a Connection Codes event and used one simple tool (the "ooh") to transform his child's middle-of-the-night meltdowns from 45 minutes of chaos to 2 minutes of connection. This is the power of being emotionally present instead of just physically present.

Key Topics:

- Why loneliness is more damaging to your health than smoking a pack of cigarettes a day

- The difference between geographical absence and relational absence

- How the "still face experiment" reveals what we're all experiencing in our relationships

- Why going to a hotel alone can feel better than being home with your family

- The chronic loneliness of modern parenting and partnership

- How to identify loneliness when it's hiding beneath anger and frustration

- What your brain actually needs when loneliness fires (hint: it's not a crowd)

- Practical tools to move from isolation to genuine connection

This episode is for you if:

- You feel exhausted doing everything by yourself even though people are around

- You'd rather be alone than feel alone with your family

- You're experiencing chronic irritation and don't know why

- You want to stop the cycle of loneliness in your home

- You're ready to understand what your emotions are actually telling you

The Connection Codes aren't just theory—they're tools that work immediately when you implement them. Whether you're a parent trying to connect with your kids, a spouse feeling disconnected, or someone navigating the holiday season with a deep sense of isolation, this episode will give you clarity and actionable steps forward.

Resources Mentioned:

- The Still Face Experiment- Connection Codes events in Europe

- Cincinnati event testimonials

- Upcoming 2026 events

Ready to go deeper?

Get the Core Emotion Wheel - The foundational tool for processing emotions and creating connection www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

Book a Connection Codes Certified Coach - Work one-on-one with someone trained in these tools https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Want to bring Connection Codes to your church, business, or organization? Email us! We're booking events for 2026 and would love to come to your community.

Keywords: loneliness, emotional health, mental health, marriage communication, parenting tools, emotional regulation, connection, isolation, relationship advice, family therapy, chronic loneliness, emotional intelligence, still face experiment, authentic vulnerability, emotional presence, marriage help, parenting struggles, mental wellness, emotional awareness, relational connection

Episode Description:What if one vulnerable conversation could completely transform your marriage? Dan Purcell, marriage intimacy coach and creator of the Intimately Us app, shares the pivotal moment when a friend's honesty about his sex life turned Dan's world upside down—and ultimately changed the trajectory of his marriage and career.In this raw and honest conversation, Dan opens up about growing up in a conservative environment where sex was taboo, the anxiety that carried into his marriage, and the courage it took to have a five-hour vulnerable conversation with his wife at 9 PM that didn't end until 2 AM. What emerged wasn't just better sex—it was better communication, better parenting, and a completely different level of connection.Glenn and Phyllis explore with Dan the common barriers that keep couples from experiencing rich intimacy, the danger of viewing yourself as superior to your spouse, and why solving sexual problems requires "second-order change"—not just redecorating the kitchen, but remodeling it entirely.

Key Topics:- Mental health and emotional vulnerability in marriage- Breaking through sexual shame and conservative upbringings- The courage required for authentic conversations about intimacy- Desire discrepancy and what really causes it- How superiority thinking destroys sexual connection- Moving from transactional to transformational intimacy- The power of one vulnerable conversation to change everything- Creating play and creativity in your sex life- Leadership development through emotional honesty

What You'll Learn:- Why most couples miss on authentic connection (even when they think they're doing fine)- How to have the scary conversation that could transform your marriage- The real reason behind sexual desire discrepancy (hint: it's not about being too busy)- Why solution-oriented approaches often backfire in intimacy- How to move from wearing masks to true vulnerability with your spouse- Practical tools and games to bring playfulness back to foreplay

About Our Guest: Dan Purcell is a marriage intimacy coach who helps couples create deeper sexual and emotional connection. After a career-changing conversation eight years ago, he developed the Intimately Us app and now coaches couples full-time, helping them experience breakthrough moments in their marriages.

Get your free resources: getyourmarriageon.com/connection-codes

- 100 Creative Ways to Initiate Sex guide

- 101 Ways to Have Sex guide

- Jump Start Guide (books, articles, podcasts, frameworks)

Get Your Free Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

Ready to Transform Your Marriage? Book a Connection Codes certified coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Episode Description: What happens when both you and your partner are flooded with emotion at the same time? In this behind-the-scenes conversation, Tera Wages and Elijah Runyan (Director of Coaching at Connection Codes) get honest about the messy middle of learning emotional connection tools—and why it's worth pushing through. Elijah shares his journey from nervous breakdown to breakthrough, including the moment his wife stopped mid-conversation and said, "I don't know what's happening right now. What is going on?" He also reveals the phrase that transformed their dynamic: "It's okay for it to hurt for you and it's also okay for it to hurt for me."Whether you're navigating holiday gatherings with triggering family members or trying to figure out why your spouse keeps trying to fix instead of listen, this episode gives you practical language and permission to exist alongside your partner's emotions.

In This Episode:00:00 – Why team conversations become podcasts01:28 – Elijah's story: finding Connection Codes during a rough season04:13 – The first time Elijah "ooh'd" his wife (and her shocked response)06:24 – "It was better before"—was it really?08:17 – Opening Pandora's box: why it gets messier first11:06 – Communicating through your pain vs. communicating your pain14:44 – Why your partner tries to fix you (the logistics revelation)17:10 – When both partners have emotions at the same time20:10 – "I don't want to cause you pain"—the hidden block to vulnerability23:34 – "I have a right to exist"—and so does your partner26:53 – When there's no "fix"—just holding space for mutual hurt30:48 – Applying this to family, kids, and holiday gatherings32:39 – What to say when someone's communicating through emotion34:15 – Elijah's Core Emotion Wheel check-in

Keywords: emotional health, marriage advice, relationship tools, mental health awareness, communication skills, conflict resolution, emotional intelligence, couples therapy alternative, leadership development, holiday stress, family relationships

Resources Mentioned:Get the Core Emotion Wheel (free): www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesLearn about School of Connection: connectioncodes.co

Get Connected:Website: www.connectioncodes.coInstagram: @connectioncodesElijah Runyan's Website: runyanstronghealth.comElijah on Instagram: @elijahjrunyan