When Pain Becomes Home: Breaking the Pattern That Keeps You Stuck

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to stay in painful patterns—even when you know they're hurting you? In this powerful episode, we explore why pain becomes a "home base" for so many people, how depression and emotional suffering can feel safer than joy, and what it actually takes to break free.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why homeostasis keeps us returning to painful patterns (even when we desperately want change)
• The psychological phenomenon of anhedonia—the inability to experience joy—and how to recognize it in your own life
• How pain can become a badge of honor and part of your identity
• The three essential ingredients for lasting transformation: pattern disruption, new environment, and time
• Why all eight core emotions (including pain AND joy) are designed to protect and guide you
• Real stories of radical pattern breaking—from career changes to selling everything and starting over
• How to recognize when you're living in emotional survival mode versus thriving

Key insights from this episode:

Glenn shares his experience of living with depression as his baseline for decades, where his daily goal was to "claw my way up to zero." Phyllis reveals the moment she knew their marriage pattern had to break—when she told Glenn to quit his construction job and go back to school, even though she'd never supported the family before.

Tera opens up about her own relationship with pain, realizing she wore it as a badge of honor—even laughing through physical pain because she wanted to be seen as strong, not weak.

The message of pain is simple: there's a problem. But too many of us have become numb to it, accepting suffering as "just the way it is." This episode will help you identify where pain has become your comfort zone and give you the courage to disrupt the pattern.

Keywords: emotional health, mental health, depression recovery, marriage transformation, breaking patterns, emotional regulation, identity crisis, joy and pain balance, relationship coaching, emotional processing, therapy tools, mental wellness, overcoming depression, emotional awareness, self-discovery

Resources mentioned:

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• School of Connection (starts Jan 20): www.connectioncodes.co/school