Episode 32 Show Notes: Relational Intelligence - How to Enter Tense Conversations

Last episode we talked about how to connect with others in an authentic way. It’s great to know how to do that. In this episode I share 3 ways to actually enter those tense conversations. Choosing to initiate a conversation for the purpose of connecting with someone we already have some tension with takes courage. It’s hard to know how to get that conversation started. Do we say, “Hey! We need to talk.” Probably not. Depending on the personalities involved, though... maybe. More times than not, that gets people’s defenses up, though. So how do we initiate that? The short version is:

1. Gather your courage and state the obvious with kindness.
2. Ask questions that invite depth vs. autopilot responses.
3. Meet people where they are.

Join me in this episode as we talk more about this around the table.

Enjoy the Journey!

Brenda

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Brenda is a Texas girl who loves God and people and big skies and great coffee. She is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power–with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend. She is also a speaker, author, mediator, and coach...helping people discover, embrace, and live out their God-given superpowers.

Check out the websites:

https://loudisnotalanguage.com/

https://brendaharkins.com/

Follow on socials:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/BrendaCoxHarkins

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/brendacoxharkins/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/brendacoxharkins/

Podcast music from: https://app.soundstripe.com/

Produced by KB Podcasts

Episode31 - Relational Intelligence: Connecting With Others in an Authentic Way

Emotional Intelligence has gotten a lot of attention in recent years, as it should. But Relational Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence are not the same. Emotional Intelligence causes us to be more aware of our emotional wellbeing and focuses on identifying and regulating those emotions. Relational Intelligence definitely needs that component, but it goes beyond our personal awareness. It focuses on the interactions and connections between people and how to have healthier relationships. Most people agree that having meaningful conversations and building relationships with others who think differently than we do is more difficult than ever. In this episode I share one of the ways to grow in Relational IQ, and that is in knowing how to connect with others in an authentic way. Even those far away from our own thoughts, opinions and convictions. We discuss 3 Ways to Connect With Others in an Authentic Way and what each of those look like in everyday life.

• Be present
• Show up as Yourself
• Create Safety

Join me in this episode, as we sit around the table and discover how aware and intentional we are being... or want to be... to create connections with others who may think very differently than we do.

Enjoy the Journey!

Brenda

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Brenda is a Texas girl who loves God and people and big skies and great coffee. She is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power–with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend. She is also a speaker, author, mediator, and coach...helping people discover, embrace, and live out their God-given superpowers.

Check out the websites:

https://loudisnotalanguage.com/

https://brendaharkins.com/

Follow on socials:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/BrendaCoxHarkins

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/brendacoxharkins/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/brendacoxharkins/

Podcast music from: https://app.soundstripe.com/

Produced by KB Podcasts

Episode 30 - Creating a Now Legacy

Do you think of “legacy” as something old people leave when they die? I want to challenge that thinking and awaken some intentionality for creating a legacy. One we get to live out now, as well as leave behind. Legacy is expressed through the convictions, values, and beliefs we live out. “Live out” are key words here. We can’t keep them private and expect to be known. Too often, because we know the convictions that live in our hearts, we assume others know, too.

The truth is that unless we become intentional to live out what is in our hearts, we risk the sad reality of never being truly known. Now or later.

Consider Life’s 5 Big Questions...

• Who are you?
• Where are you (in life’s journey)?
• What do you want?
• Why do you want it?
• What are you doing about it?

Would you like to have undistracted energy in figuring those things out? And living those things out? Because that will be your legacy... wherever your energy is poured out. The answers to these questions are huge determiners of your legacy. And intentionality to not only get the answers, but live them out, will create an awareness to you and others of who you are at your core. Of your legacy.

Join me in this episode, as you pull up a chair around the table and discover how aware and intentional you are being... or want to be... to create a now legacy that will last.

With love,

Brenda

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Brenda is a Texas girl who loves God and people and big skies and great coffee. She is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power–with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend. She is also a speaker, author, mediator, and coach...helping people discover, embrace, and live out their God-given superpowers.

Check out the websites:

https://loudisnotalanguage.com/

https://brendaharkins.com/

Follow on socials:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/BrendaCoxHarkins

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/brendacoxharkins/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/brendacoxharkins/

Podcast music from: https://app.soundstripe.com/

Produced by KB Podcasts

Episode 29 - Inspiration by the one and only...Bob Goff

How many of you wonder if Bob Goff REALLY answers that phone number in the back of his books? Well, he does! I am a personal witness.

What thought do you wake up with?

Bob Goff wakes up saying, “Nothing to Prove. Nothing to Lose.”

And to him, that equates to a truth he has taught his grandchildren...and each of us, too.

“I am strong. I am brave. I can do it!”

What a delight to visit with Bob and hear his take on everything from availability, to being present, to being a safe place emotionally for others, to starting high quality educational institutions in areas of civil unrest around the world. Including a girls’ school in Afghanistan!

If you think the dream in your heart is too big and you have no idea how to accomplish it, take some advice from Bob and just get started:

• Know your life message
• Instead of reaching the world, start by reaching across the street
• Be a safe place in a world of insecurities

You can imagine how my heart jumped when Bob said, “I am not going to try to shout over the voices in a really loud room.” Because... Loud is Not a Language! That is Bob’s message without saying it in my words.

So, grab you something delicious to drink, pull up a chair around the table with us, and enjoy the inspiration and joy Bob Goff shares with us today!

With love,

Brenda

Follow Bob Goff online:

https://www.bobgoff.com/

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Brenda is a Texas girl who loves God and people and big skies and great coffee. She is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power–with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend. She is also a speaker, author, mediator, and coach...helping people discover, embrace, and live out their God-given superpowers.

Check out the websites:

https://loudisnotalanguage.com/

https://brendaharkins.com/

Follow on socials:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/BrendaCoxHarkins

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/brendacoxharkins/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/brendacoxharkins/

Podcast music from: https://app.soundstripe.com/

Produced by KB Podcasts

Episode 28 - The Unhealthy Fight to be Right

It’s time to re-examine what it means to win. Because winning in life doesn’t equal losing in relationship. If you would like to have conversations that stretch you to love bigger, rather than pump you up to win arguments,and keep your opinion on steroids, then this episode just may spark some ideas for change. Why do we feel such a need to...defend ourselves? blame others? prioritize problems over relationships? prove people wrong who don't think like us?

I believe we have the ability to turn our competition into compassion. ut first we have to see the need. And in order to see the need, we have to get past the ridiculous preoccupation with self. Is anybody with me? Do you have a conviction that we really better than this? If so, please join me today Around the Table. We are going to talk about how to change some things, so we can see some things change. I look forward to being Around the Table with you.

Brenda

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Brenda is a Texas girl who loves God and people and big skies and great coffee. She is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power–with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend. She is also a speaker, author, mediator, and coach...helping people discover, embrace, and live out their God-given superpowers.

Check out the websites:

https://loudisnotalanguage.com/

https://brendaharkins.com/

Follow on socials:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/BrendaCoxHarkins

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/brendacoxharkins/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/brendacoxharkins/

Podcast music from: https://app.soundstripe.com/

Produced by KB Podcasts

Episode 27 Show Notes: Take a Pause

The world is a lot right now. A lot of pain. A lot of fear. A lot of anger, confusion, and accusation. A lot of misunderstanding. A lot of violence. A lot of hate. So what do we do about that? The temptation is to disengage. Or attack. Neither seems the answer. How do we make an impact? A positive difference? Is it even possible? I believe it is, if we go where our hearts lead us. Where the God that lives in us guides us. With love. And wisdom. Where we are faithful to what is in front of us. And detach from the outcomes we can’t control. So that they don’t control us. Take a deep breath. Step back. Just pause. As you do, focus your intentions to: Get in the right heart and head space. Check your internal world for courage, humility, authenticity, integrity and respect. Engage with love and wisdom as you charge forward. I look forward to being Around the Table with you today. Enjoy the journey!

Brenda

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Brenda is a Texas girl who loves God and people and big skies and great coffee. She is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power–with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend. She is also a speaker, author, mediator, and coach...helping people discover, embrace, and live out their God-given superpowers.

Check out the websites:

https://loudisnotalanguage.com/

https://brendaharkins.com/

Follow on socials:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/BrendaCoxHarkins

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/brendacoxharkins/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/brendacoxharkins/

Podcast music from: https://app.soundstripe.com/

Produced by KB Podcasts

Episode 26: Your Dreams Mean Something

We all dream.

Some of us remember our dreams in vivid detail.

Some barely remember having a dream at all.

But we all dream.

This episode shares a dream I had last year, in July of 2024, that is still just as important and impactful as it was then. It had a message for me, but it also has a message for you.

I want to share this dream for two reasons.

First, I want you to see how to analyze different parts of a dream to help you think about:

• What messages you might be receiving through your dreams
• The importance of what specific objects/colors/people in your dreams represent
• What you might receive from other people’s dreams (in this instance...mine)

Second, I want to share how the message of this dream applies to us all, not just me.

The message of this specific dream conveys:

• The importance of an invitation
• The power of listening hearts
• The effectiveness of pure motives
• The impact potential of each person

I hope you will join me Around the Table as we talk about our dreams and the wonderful insights they can bring when we take the time to intentionally decipher them.

Enjoy the journey of discovery!

With love,

Brenda

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Brenda is a Texas girl who loves God and people and big skies and great coffee. She is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power–with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend. She is also a speaker, author, mediator, and coach...helping people discover, embrace, and live out their God-given superpowers.

Check out the websites:

https://loudisnotalanguage.com/

https://brendaharkins.com/

Follow on socials:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/BrendaCoxHarkins

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/brendacoxharkins/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/brendacoxharkins/

Podcast music from: https://app.soundstripe.com/

Produced by KB Podcasts

Episode 25 - Overcoming Defeat

The difference between those who give up and those who overcome often comes down to the community we have. Or don’t. We take pride in “doing it myself”, and yet what if our best achievements come by doing it with a team? The right team, of course. Not just any team. A supporting cast, if you will. After all, every great story has a great supporting cast. Doing things in community provides perspective, many of which we don’t see on our own. Different perspectives broaden our scope and help us see a bigger picture rather than the one we are stuck in. Who is your community? Your supporting cast? And are they who you need? How do you even know what you need?

Join us for this episode and discover:

• The Myth of the Lone Wolf
• The Isolation Cycle
• Characteristics of a Healthy Community

Join me Around the Table as we talk about the need to align, or possibly realign, with the right people God has for you in this season.

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Brenda is a Texas girl who loves God and people and big skies and great coffee. She is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power–with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend. She is also a speaker, author, mediator, and coach...helping people discover, embrace, and live out their God-given superpowers.

Check out the websites:

https://loudisnotalanguage.com/

https://brendaharkins.com/

Follow on socials:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/BrendaCoxHarkins

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/brendacoxharkins/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/brendacoxharkins/

Podcast music from: https://app.soundstripe.com/

Check out the other shows from KB PODCAST PRODUCTIONS:

Kingdom Bringer Podcast with Darin Eubanks

Next Level Podcast with Michael McIntyre

Super-Natural Living with Beth Packard

The Well Life Podcast

Fan the Flame Podcast with Scott Tilley