For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs gives an honest, straight comparison of face-to-face and online anger management programs. Whether you've been Googling your options, looked at a few programs or just aren't sure where to start, this episode cuts through the confusion and helps you make a decision that actually moves you forward.

Rather than giving a vague "it depends" answer, Alastair draws on 30 years of running both formats to tell you clearly which works better for most people and why. And the good news is that with the right format and the right support, change happens faster than most people expect.

Key Takeaways:

1. Face-to-face programs can be powerful — but retention is the real problem. When you learn something once a week, life takes over and most of it fades before the next session.
2. Online programs work because of repetition. You can pause, rewind and revisit lessons until things stop being ideas and start becoming habits you actually live by.
3. In a face-to-face group, you learn alone and go home to a partner with no context. Online, many couples go through the program together, and that shared understanding changes everything.
4. Research backs this up. A Swedish study found that a well-designed online anger management program reduced anger and aggression significantly, with results better than traditional face-to-face interventions.
5. The best program is the one you'll actually complete. If you need the accountability of showing up somewhere in person each week, face-to-face may still be the right fit for you.
6. Whatever format you choose, the most important decision is to start now. Anger doesn't tend to improve on its own. But with the right tools, it changes faster than most people expect.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you'd like support choosing the right path and taking your first step toward controlling your anger:

1. Visit angersecrets.com
2. Book a free 30-minute phone call
3. Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven of the most common anger management mistakes that keep people stuck, even when they're genuinely trying to change. Whether you've read all the books, tried breathing exercises or sat through a course or two, this episode explains why the effort often doesn't stick and what to do differently starting today.

Rather than offering surface-level fixes, Alastair goes deeper - looking at the root causes of why anger keeps coming back and giving you practical, honest tools to finally break the pattern. And the good news is that recognising these mistakes is often all it takes to start seeing real change.

Key Takeaways:

• Most anger management treats the symptoms, not the root cause. Until you address what you're thinking, not what's happening, you'll keep fighting the same battle.
• Suppressing anger doesn't make it disappear. It builds. Learning to catch it early and deescalate is far more effective than pushing it down.
• When you blame others for your anger, you hand them all the power. Taking responsibility for your own responses is one of the most liberating shifts you can make.
• Anger doesn't arrive out of nowhere. Your body gives you signals before things escalate. Learning to notice them gives you a window to make a different choice.
• Negative self-talk pours fuel on the fire. Shifting from "I can't handle this" to "This is hard, but I've handled hard things before" can be the difference between escalating and staying in control.
• Rigid expectations about people or about life create a relentless sense that everyone is letting you down. Loosening that grip creates more peace than most people expect.
• Trying to change deep-seated patterns alone is genuinely difficult. The right support makes change happen far faster than most people ever expect.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you'd like support working through any of these patterns and building calmer, more loving relationships:

• Visit angersecrets.com
• Book a free 30-minute phone call
• Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven signs that anger may be a real problem in your life - and what you can do about it. Whether it's a short fuse, constant irritability or a partner who walks on eggshells around you, these signs are worth taking seriously. And the good news is that recognising them is the first step toward change.

This episode is for anyone who suspects their anger is affecting their relationships, their wellbeing or the people they love most, but isn't quite sure where to start.

Key Takeaways:

1. Anger itself isn't the problem. The problem is when it starts expressing itself in ways that hurt you or the people around you.
2. Your body knows you're angry before your mind does. Learning to read your physical warning signs early is often the difference between staying in control and losing it.
3. Regularly regretting what you say or do after an anger episode is a clear signal your anger is getting ahead of you.
4. Holding grudges hurts you more than anyone else. Forgiveness benefits the person who gives it far more than the person who receives it.
5. If your partner walks on eggshells around you, that's a sign - and it's fixable, faster than most people expect.
6. Constant low-level irritability is often anger simmering beneath the surface. Gratitude is a genuine and practical antidote.
7. If someone who cares about you has told you that you have an anger problem, take it seriously. It took courage for them to say it.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you'd like to understand whether anger is an issue for you:

1. Take the free Anger Quiz: angersecrets.com/anger-quiz
2. Visit: angersecrets.com
3. Book a free 30-minute phone call
4. Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs talks with Fiona - a small business owner and mother who grew up surrounded by family violence and spent years struggling with anger in her marriage. Just seven weeks into the Complete Anger Management System, Fiona has already made remarkable progress. Her husband has noticed. She has noticed. And the insight that changed everything for her was surprisingly simple.

If you've ever felt stuck in patterns that stretch back to your childhood, Fiona's story will show you what's possible, and how quickly things can shift when you focus on what you can actually control.

Key Takeaways:

1. You can't change other people, but you can change how you respond to them. That single realisation was Fiona's turning point.
2. Learning to use the Tension Scale early is one of the most powerful anger management skills. Catching anger before it peaks creates a window for a different choice.
3. The thoughts and feelings model works beyond just anger. It helps you respond differently in all kinds of difficult situations.
4. Change doesn't have to be public. Fiona worked through the course privately, on her own schedule, without anyone needing to know.
5. Progress isn't perfect, but it is real. Seven weeks in, Fiona hadn't had a significant anger episode since starting the course.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you'd like support controlling your anger and building calmer, more loving relationships:

1. Visit: angersecrets.com
2. Book a free 30-minute phone call
3. Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares five practical ways to respond when someone else's anger is directed at you. Whether it's a partner who explodes, a colleague who unloads or a family member who pushes your buttons, how you respond in those moments matters more than you might think.

Rather than fighting back or shutting down, Alastair explains how staying calm, using empathy and setting clear boundaries can completely change the dynamic, without accepting blame or tolerating abuse.

Key Takeaways:

1. You staying calm is the most powerful thing in the room. Responding with your own anger only escalates the situation. Managing your nervous system first changes everything.
2. Most of the time, someone else's anger isn't really about you. Recognising this creates distance from the heat and prevents unnecessary conflict.
3. Anger is usually just the surface. Underneath it is almost always something softer - hurt, fear, or feeling unheard. Empathy shifts the conversation faster than any argument.
4. Boundaries aren't threats. A calm, clear statement of what you will and won't accept creates more safety in a relationship, not less.
5. If what you're experiencing crosses into abuse, verbal, emotional, or physical, these tips aren't enough. Real support is needed, and your safety always comes first.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you'd like support handling anger, yours or someone else's, and building calmer, more loving relationships:

1. Visit: angersecrets.com
2. Book a free 30-minute phone call
3. Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three practical steps to help you control your anger before it takes over. If you've ever said something you regret in the heat of the moment, or felt like your anger erupts before you even realise what's happening, this episode explains exactly why that happens and what you can do about it starting today.

Rather than offering generic advice like "count to ten" or "take a deep breath," Alastair breaks down the real mechanics of anger: why it escalates so fast, what's actually driving it beneath the surface and how better communication can transform even the most stuck relationship patterns.

Key Takeaways:

1. You can't control your anger if you don't know it's happening. Learning to spot your personal early warning signs before anger peaks is the most important first step.
2. Your anger isn't caused by what happens to you. It's caused by what you think about what happens to you. Changing the thought changes the response.
3. Beneath every repeated trigger is usually a rigid belief, and once you can see it clearly, you can begin to shift it.
4. Active listening is one of the most powerful anger management tools in relationships. When people feel truly heard, defensiveness drops and real conversations become possible.
5. These are skills, not personality traits. They get easier with practice.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you'd like support controlling your anger and building calmer, more loving relationships:

1. Visit: angersecrets.com
2. Book a free 30-minute phone call
3. Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever promised yourself you’d stay calm with your kids only to find yourself yelling anyway when your patience runs out? You try the usual parenting tips, counting to ten or staying positive, but in the moment none of it seems to work.

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most discipline advice fails when emotions are already high, and what actually works instead.

You’ll learn how your internal emotional state plays a bigger role than your child’s behaviour, and how small changes in awareness, communication and structure can transform discipline from reactive to calm and effective.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

-Why your child’s behaviour isn’t the real cause of your anger

-How stress and unprocessed emotions influence your reactions

-The importance of clear expectations instead of vague rules

-How noticing positive behaviour reduces conflict over time

-Why empathy helps children calm down faster without removing boundaries

-When and how to take a timeout yourself to prevent escalation

Want help with this?

If you’re tired of yelling and want practical tools to stay calm and connected with your kids, support is available:

-Watch the free training on Breaking The Anger Cycle

-Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call

-Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever felt like small frustrations slowly build up until suddenly you’re snapping at the person you care about most? You tell yourself you’ll do better next time, but the same pattern keeps repeating, leaving you feeling frustrated, guilty or stuck.

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks with Matthew, a husband who found himself caught in a cycle of escalating arguments that were damaging trust in his relationship. Although he didn’t see himself as someone with a major anger problem, underlying stress and unprocessed emotions were turning everyday situations into conflict.

You’ll hear how Matthew learned to recognise his early warning signs of anger, slow down his reactions and use practical tools to shift from conflict to cooperation, rebuilding calm communication and creating positive change at home.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

-Why anger often shows up through small moments rather than big events

-How frustration can build quietly until it suddenly explodes

-The importance of recognising where you are on the Tension Scale

-Why thoughts don’t have to become actions

-How changing your perspective can transform your relationship dynamics

-Simple tools that help you slow down and respond more intentionally

Want help with this?

If you recognise yourself in Matthew’s story and want practical support learning how to control your anger, help is available:

-Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle

-Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call

-Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System