
I’m Glad You’re Dead
Preternatural Chronicles, Book 1
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Narrado por:
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Luke Daniels
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De:
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Hunter Blain
Acerca de esta escucha
My name is John Cook, and my life began the day my heart stopped beating.
You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full.
And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.
Granted, at the time, I was listening to the dying screams of my mother and father being burned and eviscerated alive just outside the rusty bars of the prison cell, and my new best friend was offering me my only real chance at saving my own life and avenging my parents’ murderers - some day.
Except, my first chance at vengeance took about 500 years, and I had to wade through oceans of sin and violence, blackening my soul - and my already dark sense of humor - beyond redemption until I met Father Thomes, a Roman Catholic priest, in present-day Houston.
Papa Thomes taught me how to use my dark curse to fight for the good guys. Like Alfred and Robin did for Batman - except we straight up murder Jokers and Two-Faces.
Biteman and Pope’n.
We stand up for the downtrodden, the forgotten, and the neglected.
By ex-sanguinating the wicked in horrific, truly imaginative ways and having a grand ol’ time doing it. You know what they say about doing what you love...
But our party is soon cut short when we learn the End of Days is just around the corner, and that the fine print of my contract might have hidden a few other tidbits. Like the fact that I was central to kicking off the apocalypse and that the archdemons will stop at nothing to make sure the dude abides by the terms of his contract.
I guess I need a lawyer.
Get ready to laugh at extreme violence. I know I will. If you’re not laughing, you’re learning.
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Historia
Artemus Steele's life was weird enough before he started juggling flaming swords and battling creatures from the pit. Now he's part of a ragtag team trying to stop Armageddon, armed with nothing but newfound powers they can't control, a book of prophecies they can't read, and a hellhound who keeps eating the furniture. As Chicago becomes the flashpoint for celestial warfare, Artemus and his misfit crew must master their abilities, decipher ancient riddles, and save the world—all while dodging fireballs, demon claws, and the occasional hellhound temper tantrum.
De: A.D. Starrling
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Stitched
- Kozlov Chronicles, Book 1
- De: Elena Sobol
- Narrado por: Scully Fyfe
- Duración: 5 h y 12 m
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Hi, I’m Dmitry, Baba Yaga’s grandson—but don’t tell my boss at the bar. For a guy who makes great beer, a lot of people want to kill me. Ever since my grandma hid me and my magic daggers in Utah, I’ve kept a low profile with my metalhead roommates. ‘Cause that’s what you do when your demigod cousins want to burn you alive.
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fantastic story 👏
- De Marcus en 11-02-24
De: Elena Sobol
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Testament
- De: Richard W. Kelly
- Narrado por: Alex Zonn
- Duración: 6 h y 2 m
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Talk about seeing the sunny side of things: when Thomas is turned into a vampire, he sees the terrifying transformation as a gift from God. Being a vampire is not a death sentence but a second chance at life for him, and he sets off to do God's work in his new role. Too bad there are older vampires who do see their transformation as a curse and resent God. A battle ensues, pitting vampire against vampire and threatening the existence of everyone.
De: Richard W. Kelly
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Hidden
- The Immortal Doc Holliday Series, Book 1
- De: M.M. Crumley
- Narrado por: Michael Cummings
- Duración: 8 h y 12 m
- Versión completa
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Meet the the Immortal Doc Holliday. Over a hundred years ago, notorious gambler Doc Holliday chose immortality over death, not knowing the price, but damned if it hasn’t been fun. Partying, playing, killing; yes, eternal life has been good. But now, Doc must repay his debt by saving Sofia, the last descendant of the beautiful shaman who granted him immortality.
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So good until the end.
- De Anthony en 06-07-21
De: M.M. Crumley
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Devil's Dream
- Shade of Devil, Book 1
- De: Shayne Silvers
- Narrado por: Charles Lawrence
- Duración: 9 h y 50 m
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Before the now-infamous Count Dracula ever tasted his first drop of blood, Sorin Ambrogio owned the night. Humanity fearfully called him the Devil. Cursed by the gods, Sorin spent centuries bathing Europe in oceans of blood with his best friends, Lucian and Nero, the world’s first Werewolf and Warlock - an unholy trinity if there ever was one. Until the three monsters grew weary of the carnage, choosing to leave it all behind and visit the brave New World across the ocean. As they befriended a Native American tribe, they quickly forgot that monsters can never escape their past.
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inconsistent but not a horrible experience.
- De Maddaily en 01-02-20
De: Shayne Silvers
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Bloody Business
- De: Autumn Dawn
- Narrado por: Virtual Voice
- Duración: 5 h y 10 m
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Ever do a good deed that came back to haunt you? Julep should have left the injured goblin by the road. Instead, she finds herself changing bloody bandages and dodging assassination attempts while her patient's equally dangerous henchmen 'guard' her. Artur's found gold, and not the kind hidden in the bottom of Julep's cart. When her greedy family decides to cash in on their suddenly valuable relative, he does the logical thing: steals her right back and adds her to his treasure hoard. But the Goblin City's a nasty place for humans who don't know the rules. Between rival crime lords, ...
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charming story
- De mu4rue en 08-12-24
De: Autumn Dawn
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Twisted Luck Bundled Set: Books 1-3
- De: Mel Todd
- Narrado por: Autumn Juliet
- Duración: 32 h y 43 m
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Things have gone wonky around me most of my life. I often find dead or dying people, and if something freakish happens, I'm usually in the middle or nearby. My luck dumps me into the weirdest situations. College is expensive. Nothing is going to stop me. I will have a good life, I will be a great EMT, and I will keep looking for why my twin died. But with my luck, anything and everything might happen.
De: Mel Todd
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Gateway to Dark Stars
- The Vincent Temple Trilogy, Book 1
- De: Kate Haley
- Narrado por: Tom Kereama
- Duración: 6 h y 27 m
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In the age of jazz and bootleg liquor, black magic is making a big comeback. Luckily, the scourge of demons and cultists are keeping Doctor Vincent Temple in business. Even the Mafia are having trouble with monsters, and they’ve hired Temple to sort it out. Cash is cash, and the old Doctor has never been one to turn his nose up at a job, no matter who’s paying. This time luck is smiling on him. The gangsters are tangling with a cult Doctor Temple has been stalking over a personal matter, but when reconnaissance turns into rescue can he save the world before things become too personal?
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A Dark Vigilante
- De Laura en 11-21-24
De: Kate Haley
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Divine and Dateless
- Eternally Yours, Book 1
- De: Tara West
- Narrado por: Hollie Jackson
- Duración: 8 h y 2 m
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What can be worse than electrocuting yourself while getting ready for your internet date? Realizing the hot stud you've been fondling is the Grim Reaper? Being chased by a sex-crazed bloated, naked corpse? How about an eternity of more bad hair days and horrific dates? Or lusting after the one guy in all the afterlife whose hydrophobia rivals his fear of commitment? Yeah, that's a whole lot worse.
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Annoying
- De Katie Benvenga en 04-05-24
De: Tara West
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In Plain Sight
- Arcane Casebook, Book 1
- De: Dan Willis
- Narrado por: Vic Mignogna
- Duración: 9 h y 24 m
- Versión completa
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When a magical plague is released in a Depression-era New York soup kitchen, private detective Alex Lockerby finds himself in a desperate hunt to catch a madman before he can strike again. His investigations lead Alex to a famous thief, a daring heist, and the search for a mythic book of ancient magic, but none of that brings him any closer to finding the man responsible for the massacre. With the police and New York’s Council of Sorcerers desperate to find the culprit, Alex becomes a suspect himself, thanks to his ties to the priest who ran the soup kitchen.
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Good story but the narration...
- De SCOTT en 06-29-20
De: Dan Willis
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Midnight Rider
- Midnight Rider Series, Book 1
- De: D.V. Wolfe
- Narrado por: D.V. Wolfe
- Duración: 9 h y 48 m
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Always read the fine print. Especially when you’re making a deal with the devil. Because demons are sneaky bastards. That’s how they got me. Well, and the rest of my hometown. A few hours of what I asked for and then we were all dragged to Hell. Luckily, those jokes about lawyers and Hell are pretty accurate. After a lengthy court case downstairs, I’ve been released on Hell’s very first work-release program with a time limit and a quota. All I have to do is hunt down and kill the things that go bump in the night.
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New Author, New Series, Read!
- De Watson H. Rhodes en 09-27-21
De: D.V. Wolfe
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ImPerfect Magic
- The imPerfect Cathar, Book 1
- De: C. N. Rowan
- Narrado por: C.N. Rowan
- Duración: 9 h y 55 m
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One moment I'm a heretical priest in the twelfth century, hunted, hated...the next, I'm waking up in the nearest corpse. Stuck in a cycle of instant reincarnation, popping back up like a tarnished penny.
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Hire a narrator!
- De Janny R en 08-22-23
De: C. N. Rowan
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre I’m Glad You’re Dead
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- richard henney
- 06-26-20
warning do not eat while listening to this book
This book is amazing,funny and beyond entertaining. Half way through book 1 I went and bought the rest of Hunters book.
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- chris
- 01-26-22
6 STARS
MC is a vampire who fights for good. MC has cool magical powers, that are more than most vampire types have, but are still in line with a vampire: NO SPLOILERS.
Setting: our modern world, but with daemons, vamps, etc.
LOTS of action & smart assz comedy. Fast paced story, but it also has depth. GREAT performance, with MANY different voices / accents.
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- Bennah
- 03-13-20
Vampire Deadpool
This was a fun story that grabbed my attention right away. There were some very laugh out loud moments as well as some "get ya in the feels". Going to look for hook 2 now
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- J.Guys
- 02-04-22
This book is for all Vampire Nerds!! It’s Solid Gold!!
Spectacular!!! A fun new look at The Vampire Nerd!! Luke Daniels brought these characters to life in the best way possible!! I’ll be spending time with the funny and sarcastic “Jon” as I devour this series. This is the Male Version of Betsy the Vampire Queen in all the best ways!!
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- Surgecj7
- 01-03-21
Refreshing
I loved this book and am hooked. The “wit” of John gets a little much at times, but I can look past that. It was refreshing to read a book with almost as much foul language that I use on a daily basis. Lol!!! I can’t wait to delve further I to this new universe I have stumbled across!!!
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- ken
- 10-05-23
gave it a shot
so glad I did.....absolutely one of the funniest books I have listened to yet.....one to the next one in the series
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- Robin
- 09-08-24
Great read
Very entertaining, it's like a Deadpool movie, a lot of irrelevant humor and interesting storyline
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- spicyringlets
- 10-08-20
Entertaining and Exciting
This book was fun with its sarcastic and sometimes spastic main character. Even in the most serious moments, he added a little humor. There was plenty of excitement and intrigue to keep me interested the whole time.
The narrator did a perfect job! I usually gravitate toward female main characters and stories with a little romance, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I'm interested to see what happens next!
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esto le resultó útil a 2 personas
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- Ryan
- 03-02-21
Luke Daniels’ Best Work
I’ve always been impressed with Mr. Daniels voice talent. But here we get the full range across the spectrum. If you’re a Luke fan, sink your fangs in and indulge your self on this sweet sexy morsel.
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- Ron
- 06-11-20
Not your Sparkly Vampire
This is a fun light hearted series set in a world where all kinds of supernatural creatures exist. If you like Kevin Hearne’s Iron Druid Chronicles then I would say this is must read. This series has lots similarities in that the characters are sassy and full of life. Plus it has Luke Daniels who has quickly become one of my favorite narrators on audible. So far there are 4 books and 2 novellas in the PRETERNATURAL CHRONICLES series.
Book 0.5 DELIVERANCE
Book 1 I’M GLAD YOU’RE DEAD
Book 2 DAWN AND QUARTERED
Book 3 SHADOW OF A DOUBT
Book 3.5. MOONLIGHT EQUILIBRIUM
Book 4. MOUTH OF MADNESS
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