Summary
Dr. John Gottman's The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a groundbreaking book that has revolutionized the field of marital research. Published in 1999, this influential work is the culmination of Gottman's extensive studies on married couples at his renowned “Love Lab” at the University of Washington. The book offers practical, science-based strategies for couples to strengthen their relationships and navigate the complexities of married life.
Based on over 14 years of research involving more than 650 couples, Gottman's book outlines seven key principles for maintaining a healthy and lasting marriage. These principles range from enhancing “love maps” to creating shared meaning, providing couples with actionable steps to improve their relationships. Additionally, the book introduces the concept of the “Four Horsemen” —criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—which Gottman identifies as behaviors that can predict the end of a marriage.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has gained widespread recognition and acclaim since its publication. It has been a New York Times bestseller and has been incorporated into the U.S. Army's Comprehensive Soldier Fitness program. The book's impact extends beyond the realm of self-help literature, as it has also been praised for aligning with feminist principles regarding shared power in successful marriages. Despite some criticism regarding its scientific rigor, Gottman's work continues to be a cornerstone in the field of relationship counseling and marital therapy.
Plot
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman PhD presents the culmination of the author's extensive research on marital relationships. Based on observations of over 650 couples in his “Love Lab” over 14 years, Gottman identifies key principles that can help couples build a strong, lasting marriage.
The book emphasizes the importance of a deep friendship and mutual respect as the foundation for a successful marriage. Gottman introduces the concept of “love maps,” which involve knowing and understanding one's partner intimately. He also stresses the significance of nurturing fondness and admiration, as well as turning towards each other in daily interactions.
Gottman outlines seven principles for couples to follow: enhancing love maps, nurturing fondness and admiration, turning towards each other, letting your partner influence you, solving solvable problems, overcoming gridlock, and creating shared meaning. These principles are designed to help couples strengthen their relationship and navigate challenges effectively.
