Scrolling idly through social media in May 2022, a thread of posts that had already garnered tens of thousands of likes caught my eye. Posted by Brandon Stanton’s popular street interview photoblog , the story featured a man named Jonathan Conyers, who spoke to an oft-difficult upbringing and the luminous influence of his high school debate coach, K.M. “DiCo” DiColandrea. It resonated with me on multiple levels: firstly because I’d been a fervent participant in my high school's forensics community, attending weekly tournaments across New York and beyond with our speech and debate team, and remaining involved in the circuit for years after I graduated as a mentor and volunteer. I’d experienced firsthand the deeply powerful process of discovering and honing my own voice.
But more importantly, what struck me foremost was Conyer’s skill for storytelling—vulnerable and open-hearted, with an emphasis on building spaces of belonging, his recollections stuck with me long after I’d read and shared each installment of the thread. Thankfully, he isn’t done sharing his story: His debut memoir, , just arrived on September 5th. We spoke with Conyers about his audiobook, as well as empathy, luck, trauma, and his own most anticipated listen of the year.
Alanna McAuliffe: In I Wasn’t Supposed to Be Here, you detail how community wasn’t just vital to your success, but to your survival. What advice would you give to listeners who may be similarly struggling or searching for their own village, a place where they feel supported, challenged, and encouraged?
Jonathan Conyers: I always emphasize that wisdom can originate from a multitude of individuals through diverse avenues. Embracing various perspectives, life experiences, and mindsets is pivotal in fostering a robust community. It's equally important, when forming your own village, to acknowledge the significance of representation. No guilt should accompany the desire to connect with those who share similar backgrounds.
Lastly, remember that receptiveness to others and reciprocal support are vital. Often, people fear burdening others or believe they must give all their time to be part of a village. Small acts of kindness and being present during tough times can be transformative. Many individuals aspire to make a positive impact and extend a helping hand, and once you open up, these connections will naturally unfold.
Listeners may recognize you from a viral Humans of New York feature in which you recounted the lasting influence of your high school debate coach, DiCo. In your memoir, you expand further on this and other relationships that left a lasting impact. Drawing on your own experiences as both a mentor and a mentee, what are some qualities and behaviors we can all embrace to better uplift one another?In my view, the paramount attributes for mutual upliftment are love and perspective. Often, we impose our beliefs and societal standards onto people and circumstances, obscuring our perception and preventing us from appreciating the inherent beauty within individuals. We miss the opportunity to perceive people authentically and to broaden our horizons by gaining fresh viewpoints into different lives. By prioritizing love and empathy, one can foster enduring connections and serve as a beacon in the lives of others.Storytelling stands as a pivotal force that enables us to comprehend both others and ourselves. It holds significance due to its ability to convey information, emotions, and experiences in an engaging and relatable manner. By captivating the audience, it simplifies the understanding and retention of complex concepts. Stories forge connections, arouse empathy, and ignite action, rendering them a potent tool for communication and shaping perspectives.
