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Narrado por:
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Cassandra Arnold
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De:
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Jeff Strand
Acerca de esta escucha
"You want to pay me to sleep with your wife?"
Kirk is extremely surprised by Ralph's proposition. He's even more surprised by the next part: Kirk is supposed to perform badly, to make Ralph look good by comparison. And Julie isn't supposed to know that any of this was planned.
It's the kind of offer any smart, sane person would turn down. But this is not a book about smart, sane people. This is "bad decisions spiral out of control" all the way.
From the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of Pressure and Dweller comes something lighter, goofier, and way, way smuttier.
©2019 Jeff Strand (P)2022 Jeff StrandLos oyentes también disfrutaron...
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Corey is falling in love with his co-worker Quinn. This is a problem. Not only because Quinn is married, but because her husband is a serial killer known as the Toledo Trasher, who has been forcing her to participate in his savage crimes.
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Demonic
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This novel is the tale of Stanley Dabernath, zombie. A regular guy who dies, is brought back to life as a ghastly walking cadaver, and becomes the international sensation hailed by the press as The Amazing Mr. Corpse. Fame! Wealth! Groupies! Despite his ghoulish appearance, Stanley finds himself living the dream. But in many ways, it’s harder to be a celebrity than a zombie. The suits behind Project Second Chance want to tell him how to behave in public. There’s constant pressure coming at him from all sides—not to mention that many people consider him a vile blasphemy.
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Completely different take on the zombie story
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Benjamin's Parasite
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At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one. Benjamin Wilson was having a lousy month even before the stomach pains began. He was about to turn 40. One of his students had been shot while on a homicidal meat cleaver rampage. And, shortly after the funeral, Benjamin didn't feel so good.... Now, everything is changing. His body is being affected in some very unpleasant ways.
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Jeff Strand is warped
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Candy Coated Madness
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A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual-reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies...sort of. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!
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So good!
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Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
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After a series of bizarre and increasingly horrific attacks from pulpy, red, seeded fruit, Mason Dixon finds himself leading a "crack" team of specialists to save the planet. But will they be quick enough to save everyone? To save you? You can't run! You can't swim!
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Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
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The Sinister Mr. Corpse
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Historia
This novel is the tale of Stanley Dabernath, zombie. A regular guy who dies, is brought back to life as a ghastly walking cadaver, and becomes the international sensation hailed by the press as The Amazing Mr. Corpse. Fame! Wealth! Groupies! Despite his ghoulish appearance, Stanley finds himself living the dream. But in many ways, it’s harder to be a celebrity than a zombie. The suits behind Project Second Chance want to tell him how to behave in public. There’s constant pressure coming at him from all sides—not to mention that many people consider him a vile blasphemy.
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Completely different take on the zombie story
- De Anonymous User en 04-05-23
De: Jeff Strand
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Benjamin's Parasite
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- Duración: 6 h y 4 m
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General
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Historia
At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one. Benjamin Wilson was having a lousy month even before the stomach pains began. He was about to turn 40. One of his students had been shot while on a homicidal meat cleaver rampage. And, shortly after the funeral, Benjamin didn't feel so good.... Now, everything is changing. His body is being affected in some very unpleasant ways.
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Jeff Strand is warped
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Candy Coated Madness
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- Duración: 7 h y 53 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual-reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies...sort of. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!
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So good!
- De kathy pappas en 04-21-23
De: Jeff Strand
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Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
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- Narrado por: Joe Hempel
- Duración: 4 h y 58 m
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
After a series of bizarre and increasingly horrific attacks from pulpy, red, seeded fruit, Mason Dixon finds himself leading a "crack" team of specialists to save the planet. But will they be quick enough to save everyone? To save you? You can't run! You can't swim!
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Great fun
- De timj26 en 05-24-23
De: Jeff Strand
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I Have a Bad Feeling about This
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- Narrado por: Aaron Landon
- Duración: 5 h y 56 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
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Frank knows that he's creepy. There's nothing he can do about it. His creepiness - along with the fact that his father once killed 11 people in an office shooting - has kept him from ever having a girlfriend. When he finally works up the nerve to ask Abigail out on a date, after buying flowers from her every day for the past three months, he's sure she'll say no. But she accepts. These two kindhearted but weird souls have found each other, and Frank thinks his life is about to change for the better. But this is not a love story. This is a tale of revenge and madness.
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Fun like always!!
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Pressure
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Alex stared at the red pocketknife shown to him by his daughter. A pocketknife owned by somebody he hadn't seen in years. They met first in boarding school at age 12. Alex Fletcher, shy and scared. Darren Rust, always furiously scribbling away in a private journal. It was not an immediate friendship, but then one night Darren convinced his roommate to sneak off school grounds to see something glorious.
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Refreshingly Riveting GrittyThriller! LOVED IT!
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Autumn Bleeds into Winter
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Somebody has been abducting children in Fairbanks, Alaska. One of the victims was 14-year-old Curtis Black's best friend, Todd. Curtis saw it happen. He knows exactly who did it. But he can't prove that it was his neighbor, Gerald Martin. The authorities find no evidence of the crime. There's nothing they can do. So he's going to confront Mr. Martin himself. And this is just the beginning of the terrifying story.
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Jeff Strand will have you laughing the whole time!
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Wolf Hunt Trilogy
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All three of the hilariously bloody and action-packed werewolf novels in one collection!
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Three times the fun, a triple Strand Treat!
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Graverobbers Wanted: No Experience Necessary
- An Andrew Mayhem Thriller, Book 1
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General
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Historia
When you’re desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren’t the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, a married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key - a key buried with a body in a shallow grave. But what he finds in the grave isn’t quite what he expected, and what begins as a simple evening of morally questionable manual labor turns into a really good way to die.
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Tried to get through it.
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The Troop
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Once every year, Scoutmaster Tim Riggs leads a troop of boys into the Canadian wilderness for a weekend camping trip - a tradition as comforting and reliable as a good ghost story around a roaring bonfre. The boys are a tight-knit crew. There’s Kent, one of the most popular kids in school; Ephraim and Max, also well-liked and easygoing; then there’s Newt the nerd and Shelley the odd duck. For the most part, they all get along and are happy to be there - which makes Scoutmaster Tim’s job a little easier.
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Seriously Messed Up Gruesome Horror
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John Dies at the End
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
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The Hospital: The First Mountain Man Story
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A survivor of undead suburbia, mountain man Augustus “Gus” Berry is extremely careful when it comes to his actions and movements. He takes no chances and painstakingly weighs every decision—until he sets out for the hospital at the edge of town, hoping to discover a treasure trove of essential supplies. Soon, Gus will experience terror the likes of which he's never encountered before . . .
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40 ROLLS OF ASS CLEANING GOODNESS
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Killing It
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- Narrado por: Joe Hempel
- Duración: 8 h y 20 m
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Since the late 1980's, The Square had been one of the most important clubs in New York for the alt-comedy scene. But before that it was something much darker and is now a place where evil lingers, waiting for a chance to spill blood. After a night of killing on stage, four comics find themselves in a desperate situation as the spirits of the past come out to play, and a fight for laughs becomes a fight for survival in the most unlikely of places.
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A struggle to get through.
- De robert and valeries en 07-12-23
De: Mike Bockoven
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The Slob
- De: Aron Beauregard
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General
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Raised in a household so filthy it was stomach-spilling, Vera involuntarily evolved into a neat freak. Upon discovering she and her disabled husband, Daniel, are expecting, she needs fast cash. Her obsession with cleanliness sprouts the concept that her skills can be put to use in a unique way. She takes a stab at the booming door-to-door vacuum sales business of 1988. All is going well until she arrives at the steps of a house that will change her forever. The steps of an evil that resurrects the ghastly memories she so desperately tried to wash away.
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I don't know why this was written.
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De: Aron Beauregard
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Yellow
- De: Aron Beauregard
- Narrado por: John Wayne Comunale
- Duración: 5 h y 7 m
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Oliver Fitch has a troubling issue: He lives in a state of constant terror. After purchasing a convenience store in a once civil society, the streets around him have rapidly devolved into utter lawlessness. They're now festering with sinister gutter scum that live only to harass and intimidate him. His pathetic profits are gouged under the threat of violence, and there isn't a damn thing he can do about it. Because in a city with no rules, where the sun never shines, the authorities are no help. In fact, they're an equal part of the problem.
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So disturbing that it pulls you in
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De: Aron Beauregard
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The Guilty One
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- Versión completa
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Every town needs a hero, and Detective Cal Farrell fits the bill. He stopped an active shooter six months earlier, and now he’s become the darling of the Alexandria press. The problem is that Cal remembers nothing from that day. He’s working with a psychiatrist to recover his memories, but hasn’t had much luck. Then, on one of his morning runs, he is once again the first on scene for a grisly discovery—a body hanging impossibly high on a tree. Soon there’s another victim, killed by a blade and dumped in a ravine.
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Simply excellent!
- De Richard S. Swol en 06-16-23
De: Bill Schweigart
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre Bang Up
Calificaciones medias de los clientesReseñas - Selecciona las pestañas a continuación para cambiar el origen de las reseñas.
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Total
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Ejecución
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Historia
- lsmdtb5
- 04-01-23
Funny sex filled romp
I so enjoyed this book. I snort laughed a few times. Jeff Strand can make anything funny. Even if you’re cringing it’s still funny.
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