When 12-year-old Gratuity (Tip) Tucci is assigned to write five pages on The True Meaning of Smekday for the National Time Capsule contest, shes not sure where to begin. When her mom started telling everyone about the messages aliens were sending through a mole on the back of her neck? Maybe on Christmas Eve, when huge, bizarre spaceships descended on the Earth and the aliens called Boov abducted her mother?
"Funny, exciting, and fun. Mesmerizing narration."
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
"Tons of laughs"
After Tip and J.Lo banished the Gorg from Earth in a scheme involving the cloning of many, many cats, the pair is notorious - but not for their heroics. Instead, human Dan Landry has taken credit for conquering the Gorg, and the Boov blame J.Lo for ruining their colonization of the planet. Determined to clear his name, J.Lo and Tip pack into Slushious, a Chevy that J.Lo has engineered into a fairly operational spaceship, and head to New Boovworld, the aliens' new home on one of Saturn's moons.
Not a significant source of vampires. May contain nuts. Daily values based on individual interest. Reader's estimation of value may be higher or lower, depending on your tolerance for this sort of thing....
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident... attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and 15 forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her - hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated.
"I had to give up..."
Chu is a little panda with a big sneeze. When Chu sneezes, bad things happen. Will Chu sneeze today?
"I want to be a child again!"
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and Guys Read, you already know what you’re in store for: an hilarious story.
"The boys enjoyed it..."
Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich, by acclaimed children's-book author Adam Rex, is a collection of uproarious poems about everyone's favorite spooky monsters, including Dracula, Wolfman, Bigfoot, and Godzilla.
Adam Rex, author of critically acclaimed Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich, brings back Frankenstein - and the monster is getting married! But Frankenstein and his undead bride will have many things to deal with before this monster bash.
For thousands of years and in many countries around the world at the end of the calendar year, people have reviewed areas of their lives and their own performances to ascertain sections that need improvement and have drawn up New Year resolutions. It is interesting that globally the end of the year is seen as linked with review and change. Fresh beginnings and improvements for the year to come are something to shoot for.
Es ist Weihnachten, als überall auf der Welt Aliens landen. Erst benennen sie die Erde in "Smekland" um und dann entführen sie auch noch Gratuitys Mum. Das will sich die Elfjährige nicht gefallen lassen und macht sich auf, ihre Mutter zu retten. Unterwegs trifft sie auf den tollpatschigen Alien J.Lo. Gemeinsam reisen sie in einem schwebenden Auto quer durch die USA und schmieden unterwegs den ungeheuerlichen Plan, die Erde zu retten.