We Were Once a Family

A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America

By: Roxanna Asgarian

Narrated by: Suehyla El-Attar

Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins

Publisher's summary

National Book Critics Circle Award—Winner, 2023

Long-listed, Barnes and Noble Best New Books of the Year 2023

L.A. Times Book Prize—Finalist, 2023

Long-listed, NPR Best Book of the Year, 2023

Short-listed, Helen Bernstein Book Award, 2024

Long-listed, New Yorker Best Books of the Year, 2023

Long-listed, Carnegie Medal, 2024

Long-listed, Publishers Weekly Best Books of the Year, 2023

Long-listed, CPL: Chicago Public Library Best of the Best, 2023

Long-listed, Audible.com Best of the Year, 2023

Long-listed, Washington Post Best Books of the Year, 2023

One of Literary Hub's most anticipated books of 2023

"Narrator Suehyla El-Attar gives an impassioned performance that enhances the touching, terrifying tale of social injustice and systemic failure. Her delivery is compelling and clear, evoking a captivating listening experience from this true-crime tragedy."—Library Journal

The shocking, deeply reported story of a murder-suicide that claimed the lives of six children—and a searing indictment of the American foster care system.

On March 26, 2018, rescue workers discovered a crumpled SUV and the bodies of two women and several children at the bottom of a cliff beside the Pacific Coast Highway. Investigators soon concluded that the crash was a murder-suicide, but there was more to the story: Jennifer and Sarah Hart, it turned out, were a white married couple who had adopted the six Black children from two different Texas families in 2006 and 2008. Behind the family's loving facade, however, was a pattern of abuse and neglect that went ignored as the couple withdrew the children from school and moved across the country. It soon became apparent that the State of Texas knew very little about the two individuals to whom it had given custody of six children—with fateful consequences.

In the manner of Adrian Nicole LeBlanc's Random Family and other classic works of investigative journalism, Roxanna Asgarian’s We Were Once a Family is a revelation of vulnerable lives; it is also a shattering exposé of the foster care and adoption systems that produced this tragedy. As a journalist in Houston, Asgarian became the first reporter to put the children’s birth families at the center of the story. We follow the author as she runs up against the intransigence of a state agency that removes tens of thousands of kids from homes each year in the name of child welfare, while often failing to consider alternatives. Her reporting uncovers persistent racial biases and corruption as children of color are separated from birth parents without proper cause. The result is a riveting narrative and a deeply reported indictment of a system that continues to fail America’s most vulnerable children while upending the lives of their families.

A Macmillan Audio production from Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

©2023 Roxanna Asgarian (P)2023 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"Asgarian debuts with a comprehensive and searing look at systemic issues within the foster care and adoption systems . . . Emotional and frequently enraging, it adds up to a blistering indictment . . . Sensitive, impassioned, and eye-opening, this is a must-read."—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

“Roxanna Asgarian’s stunning debut, We Were Once A Family, paints a stark picture of the systemic failures of our child welfare system. Asgarian shows the myriad ways in which the very institutions charged with our children's safety often exacerbate their predicaments—and sometimes, as with the Hart family, can end in unmitigated and unnecessary tragedy. This book is sobering, but also urgent, advocating for change with the strength of a howl in the wild.”—Rachel Louise Snyder, author of No Visible Bruises

"Roxanna Asgarian could have written another sensational account of the six Black children murdered by the white couple who adopted them. Instead, We Were Once A Family is not only the most in-depth investigation of the tragedy, but also a devastating exposé of the unjust and inhumane child welfare system that caused it to happen. Asgarian shatters the dominant rosy adoption narrative popularized by the government and media by telling the forgotten experiences of foster children, adoptees, and birth families—all traumatized by the forcible separation from their loved ones. This riveting book will raise public awareness of the urgent need to end our disastrous approach to struggling families by radically reimagining child welfare policies and building community-based supports that truly keep children safe."—Dorothy Roberts, author of Torn Apart: How the Child Welfare System Destroys Black Families—And How Abolition Can Build A Safer World

A devastating story of families torn apart

Deeply researched and sensitively told. This is investigative journalism at its finest. A must read.

Devastating

A really powerful look at the child welfare system and the human cost of splitting up families. I binged the whole book as is it was incredibly compelling and well written

Must read for all Americans

The author uses in depth reporting, empathy, and a riveting story to examine the complex cruelties of the systems of racism and control destroying lives through the CPS structure. She does so with grace and transparency, distilling a hard topic to an easy to understand narrative. For those white adults who grew up understanding a much different tale about CPS and the foster system, a much needed explanation that will hopefully spark change. Great reporting and a great work.

A must read

A must read if you want to understand the child welfare system and it’s consequences for birth families and children. Well written and performed. I was deeply moved by the back stories of everyone involved, the births families, the children, and the adoptive mothers.

We once were a family

What a tragic tale. The writer has laid open one of the worst child neglect stories of our Government.

Tragic but important

The story was incredibly sad and eye-opening to how child protective services work. Although we know, systemic racism has been it play, it is rampant in that at target, black families, and takes children from their homes.

Very interesting and depressing - feel the book could have been broader

This was very interesting and engaging. I do recommend the book. I wish the book had been more in depth about their life with the mothers and the murder itself - I understand it was supposed to be the childrens’ back story but I was left feeling like I needed more.

Depth of research.

When this news story broke I couldn’t fathom how a lesbian couple could murder their 6 adopted children! This book reaches out and tells the story of the mothers and the birth families in an attempt to answer that question.

Incredible.

This is not a sensational true crime book. It's investigative journalism that puts a tragedy into social and historical context. The author's background is in reporting on the foster care system.

But it's not didactic at all and deeply rooted in human experiences. I only do non-fiction audiobooks and this is the best I've heard and the only book I've read/listened to to bring tears.

There are more than one side of a story

I found the book interesting and well written. I respect the author for paying attention to the birth families. There is no doubt that they suffered and continued to be mistreated. I would like to add, however, that the matter of a child removal often involves court. The description of how children were removed from their parents in the book comes from the parents, may or may not be how it actually happened. I also felt the author paying less attention to the impact of having parents with substance use and mental illness but blaming so much on poverty. Finally with so much emphasis on racism, which I agree, I wonder if this book could have been narrated by an African American mother. It is a little disappointing that this book could come across as the white people's story when African American person is not included in the book production.