While You Were Out

An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence

By: Meg Kissinger

Narrated by: Meg Kissinger

Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins

Publisher's summary

Long-listed, Barnes and Noble Best New Books of the Year 2023

From award-winning journalist Meg Kissinger, a searing memoir of a family besieged by mental illness, as well as an incisive exploration of the systems that failed them and a testament to the love that sustained them.

Growing up in the 1960s in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg Kissinger’s family seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, the Kissingers radiated a warm, boisterous energy. Whether they were spending summer days on the shores of Lake Michigan, barreling down the ski slopes, or navigating the trials of their Catholic school, the Kissingers always knew how to live large and play hard.

But behind closed doors, a harsher reality was unfolding—a heavily medicated mother hospitalized for anxiety and depression, a manic father prone to violence, and children in the throes of bipolar disorder and depression, two of whom would take their own lives. Through it all, the Kissingers faced the world with their signature dark humor and the unspoken family rule: never talk about it.

While You Were Out begins as the personal story of one family’s struggles then opens outward, as Kissinger details how childhood tragedy catalyzed a journalism career focused on exposing our country’s flawed mental health care. Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies.

Powerful, candid and filled with surprising humor, this is the story of one family’s love and resilience in face of great loss.

A Macmillan Audio production from Celadon Books.

©2023 Meg Kissinger (P)2023 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"Meg Kissinger is a world-class reporter and a rip-roaring storyteller. Her heartfelt, eviscerating, deeply introspective investigation of long-held family secrets will leave you quaking with rage about our broken mental-health system—and grateful that writers like her are on the case."—Robert Kolker, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Hidden Valley Road

"As a journalist, Meg Kissinger has long been shining a light on our broken mental health care system by telling the stories of people struggling with mental illness. In While You Were Out, she tells the more personal and painful narrative of the people in her own family who have struggled with mental illness. A gifted storyteller, Kissinger reminds us, in the words of her deceased brother, 'Only love and understanding can conquer this disease.'"—Tom Insel, MD, Former Director of the National Institute of Mental Health

"Frank and revelatory, While You Were Out is a story of overwhelming power, chronicling the kind of American tragedy that feels both aberrant and ever-present."—Rachel Aviv, author of Strangers to Ourselves

The best lived experience memoir I have ever read

I read every book like this as I work with families struggling with mental illness. This is by far the most in depth account that so accurately describes the many levels of struggle. A must read for all loved ones!

I didn’t want it to end!

Meg Kissinger is a gifted writer, and her story is gripping, tragic and beautiful all at once.

It’s so important that this family story has been told …

… in its entirety.
I didn’t know of Meg’s journalism which stimulated significant social change. I’m very grateful for that.

The Unshakable Love and Unbreakable Bond of Family

This memoir is one of the best I’ve ever had the honor to read. If you have members of your family who struggle with bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, or other mental illness, this will resonate so fiercely with you too, but I also think it is important for everyone to read to better understand what that dynamic is truly about. I have such compassion and love for the Kissinger family. Their bond with one another is so special and it is a miracle for all they have been through, that they have made such beautiful families and lives of their own after such pain and sorrow. Thank you Meg for sharing this vulnerable and important story of your life.

Very interesting book.

This was a very good read. The book had my complete attention until the final chapters. They read more like a college lecture.. As a social worker, i've worked with many homeless people. It was heart-wrenching to go to work everyday and see people living in such squalor. Each person was different and factors leading to homelessness were complicated. it's more complex than simply finding housing. Thank you to the author for telling the story of her family and bringing insight into this human tragedy.

A wonderful listen by the author herself! WOW

Loved every word! Exceptional read. An exceptional family true story saga. Perseverance, unconditional love and family strength.

Powerful and Important

Meg’s book was heartbreaking in parts and yet there was always hope. The power of sharing and talking and listening bring clarity and understanding. This will be an important resource in mental health care.

Meg took mental illness out of the shadows.

Fantastic uplifting book that details the reality of living with loved ones who have any type of mental illness. Despite the card they were dealt, it’s incredible how all six survivors made life work. Highly recommend this great story especially in today’s insane world.

Wonderful addition to mental health writing

Excellent, sad, compelling and restorative stories. Invigorating and motivating for someone suffering from a mental illness.

Important Memoir!

One family’s personal journey through the struggles of mental illness. Meg is a tireless advocate for mental health using her experiences with her family and her investigative journalism skills to change the broken mental health “system”. I want to share this book with all of my family and friends!