The Man They Wanted Me to Be

Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making

By: Jared Yates Sexton

Narrated by: Jared Yates Sexton

Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins

Publisher's summary

Based on his provocative and popular New York Times op-ed, The Man They Wanted Me to Be is both memoir and cultural analysis. Jared Yates Sexton alternates between an examination of his working class upbringing and historical, psychological, and sociological sources that examine the genesis of toxic masculinity and its consequences for society.

As progressivism changes American society, and globalism shifts labor away from traditional manufacturing, the roles that have been prescribed to men since the Industrial Revolution have been rendered as obsolete. Donald Trump's campaign successfully leveraged male resentment and entitlement, and now, with Trump as president and the rise of the #MeToo movement, it's clear that our current definitions of masculinity are outdated and even dangerous.

Deeply personal and thoroughly researched, The Man They Wanted Me to Be examines how we teach boys what's expected of men in America, and the long-term effects of that socialization-which include depression, shorter lives, misogyny, and suicide. Sexton turns his keen eye to the establishment of the racist patriarchal structure which has favored white men, and investigates the personal and societal dangers of such outdated definitions of manhood.

©2019 Jared Yates Sexton (P)2019 HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books

Shocking Mirror

My inner thoughts, brought out and vocalized. We're not alone. Thank you Jared Yates Sexton.

Interesting, insightful

Jared’s story of the abuses he and his mother suffered at the hands of men subscribed to the myth of masculinity is often difficult to listen to. It is a story well told, though, and Sexton does a great job of making it easy to understand how the patriarchy exploits many and is exploited by others. I saw people I know in this story, and my guess is that you will, too. Sheds light on the rise of the malignant force in the White House. Highly recommended.

Exceptional Insight

I learned a great deal about the underlying internal emotional conflict and social pressures for men. The book provides understanding and compassion without denying responsibility for harm caused. It also provides some ideas for social progress to move forward in a thoughtful, deeply humanistic way.

Great storytelling

I know many men in my life that had similar experiences. It takes a truly strong human being to admit that things should change. Thank you Jared for sharing your journey.

outstanding

i finally understand why half of the USA follows what to me is an anti-social path! Well done.

Thought-provoking

A powerful mix of personal narrative and societal observation. It gave me new perspectives. Only critique: drags a little at certain points.

#TruthMedicine

One of the most universally accessible books I have encountered this speaks to all men around the world.

Thoroughly enjoyable

Recommend to any baby boomer who wants to understand how the view of gender and male protection is being examined.

Great book

I so enjoyed this book it explains so much about trump supporters . Highly recommend it .

Powerfully True

Fear drives much of what humanity does. Ironically, men use threats to make fear more prevalent. Fear of being ‘less than’ encourages men to threaten those around them. Jordan Peterson is the egghead of this group. Again ironically, the group (men) who despise ‘eggheads’ (experts) the most think he has all the answers. Ironically men are ironic. Setting up straw man (and other fallacies and phallicies) to defend their inane and insane straw man (aka stuffed shirt) arguments has created a bloated and bloviated monster of anger and animus, which at some point must come crashing down. Unfortunately every one of these implosion results in hurting everyone around it, from world war and gun toting totter heads to domestic (ie. in the home) and international terrorism. Men need to grow up. … I know I’d like to be farther along. 😕 60+’years of pushing and punishing through it.