The Mamas

What I Learned About Kids, Class, and Race from Moms Not Like Me

By: Helena Andrews-Dyer

Narrated by: Helena Andrews-Dyer

Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins

Publisher's summary

Can white moms and Black moms ever truly be friends? Not just mom friends, but like really real friends? And does it matter?

“Utterly addictive . . . Through her sharp wit and dynamic anecdotal storytelling, Helena Andrews-Dyer shines a light on the cultural differences that separate Black and white mothers.”—Tia Williams, New York Times bestselling author of Seven Days in June

Helena Andrews-Dyer lives in a “hot” Washington, D.C., neighborhood, which means picturesque row houses and plenty of gentrification. After having her first child, she joined the local mom group—“the Mamas”—and quickly realized that being one of the only Black mothers in the mix was a mixed bag. The racial, cultural, and socioeconomic differences were made clear almost immediately. But spending time in what she calls “the Polly Pocket world of postracial parenting” was a welcome reprieve. Then George Floyd happened. A man was murdered, a man who called out for his mama. And suddenly, the Mamas hit different. Though they were alike in some ways—they want their kids to be safe; they think their husbands are lazy; they work too much and feel guilty about it—Andrews-Dyer realized she had an entirely different set of problems that her neighborhood mom friends could never truly understand.

In The Mamas, Andrews-Dyer chronicles the particular challenges she faces in a group where systemic racism can be solved with an Excel spreadsheet and where she, a Black, professional, Ivy League-educated mom, is overcompensating with every move. Andrews-Dyer grapples with her own inner tensions, like “Why do I never leave the house with the baby and without my wedding ring?” and “Why did every name we considered for our kids have to pass the résumé test?” Throw in a global pandemic and a nationwide movement for social justice, and Andrews-Dyer ultimately tries to find out if moms from different backgrounds can truly understand one another.

With sharp wit and refreshing honesty, The Mamas explores the contradictions and community of motherhood—white and Black and everything—against the backdrop of the rapidly changing world.

©2022 Helena Andrews-Dyer (P)2022 Random House Audio

I feel heard

The writer is absolutely amazing with words—the way she describes the details of her life in a way that is both witty and relatable. I shared this book with so many in my mom gangs and now off to start some of her other books! Definitely recommend!

For the Mamas!

I enjoyed every moment of this book. So much of the author’s narrative aligned with my own. I truly appreciate her transparency and witty sense of humor. If you’re a mama trying to navigate the complexity of motherhood and the emotional roller coaster that it brings, this is the book for you.

Enlightening, engaging, and humorous

This was one of the best books I have read in a long time. Hearing the author’s experience was not only validating as a mother but also really helped to illustrate the intersectionality of race, class, gender, parenthood, and era in a manner that helps you understand the experiences of many moms and particularly moms of color on a more visceral level. I’d recommend this book for anyone who wants to have a deeper understanding of these societal issues and enjoy an engaging and humorous writing style along the way.

Also the only mama

Totally recommend it’s so relatable, good research about several topics.
A support group is necessary but also important to know and trust ourselves and be kind to us.

Much More and Then Some

Wow!
This was open and honest to the point of a gift. It spans the spectrum of very personal internal and external truths including the ugly and the funny- all w candor and a deeply compelling voice. So well done. Bonus points for excellent research and DC history! Listen and share along!

A personal and universal story

The Mammas is a great read. While it is the personal story of the author I felt like she knew parts of my story.

All Black mama in Predominantly White Neighborhood can relate

Wow this book touches on so many things that I’m personally going through. Being the only one in our school, our street, our ballet, gymnastics,swimming classes makes you wonder sometimes if you belong. If this experience is what’s best for your kid. I like how this book was not an answer to these questions, but an outlook on a shared experience. Love it! My only reservation is on the chapter about gentrification and history of the neighborhood. I felt like it was too long and not totally related to the Mamas. In general I really love the book, and selfishly happy I’m not the only one going through this.

boring

can’t identify with this kind/class of parent group to ever want to be accepted into it.