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The Holy F--king Bible
- According to Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Matt Shaw
- Length: 1 hr and 23 mins
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The Holy F--king Bible
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Publisher's summary
The Holy Bible, according to Matt Shaw.
Taking the popular stories from the Bible and giving them a horror twist, this book is not intended to be used as a way of preaching your beliefs. God would probably frown down upon such usage, but if you wanted to put your feet up and chuckle along with some dark humor, then God would surely approve.
For fans of the original book, this isn't for you. You won't like this. Don't listen to it. Don't be mad at me for writing it, though because, if you think about it, I am still getting the important stories out there. Kind of.
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,622
What would happen if millions of people around the world suddenly disappeared one day? In this fascinating apocalyptic thriller, best-selling Christian inspirational authors LaHaye and Jenkins pool their considerable talents to answer that question. Narrator Richard Ferrone's unusually deep and hypnotic voice will keep you right in the middle of this not-unimaginable end of the world nightmare.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great series!
- By Shannon L Hendon on 08-03-04
By: Tim LaHaye, and others
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The Just City
- Thessaly, Book 1
- By: Jo Walton
- Narrated by: Noah Michael Levine
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 177
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 164
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Story4 out of 5 stars 164
Created as an experiment by the time-traveling goddess Pallas Athene, the Just City is a planned community populated by over 10,000 children and a few hundred adult teachers from all eras of history, along with some handy robots from the far human future - all set down together on a Mediterranean island in the distant past.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Could Not Get Past Mispronunciations
- By Martha K. on 04-22-17
By: Jo Walton
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The Ground Beneath Her Feet
- By: Salman Rushdie
- Narrated by: Steven Crossley
- Length: 27 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 123
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 85
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Story4 out of 5 stars 88
Salman Rushdie is widely considered one of a handful of truly great living writers. The internationally acclaimed, Booker Prize-winning author's storytelling shines in this epic love story, a modern retelling of the myth of Orpheus.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Okay, Salmon, We get that you're a genious already
- By Julie A Quinn on 04-23-09
By: Salman Rushdie
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Galilee
- By: Clive Barker
- Narrated by: Paul Hecht
- Length: 23 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 266
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 237
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Story4 out of 5 stars 240
The Barbarossa family’s roots are far more ancient and ethereal, but they are bound to the Gearys by a shared history of murder, insanity, and adultery. When Rachel Geary and Galilee, the seductive prince of the Barbarossa clan, fall in love, they unleash powerful enmities that could destroy both dynasties. Shorter and more conventional than some of Barker’s other work, this novel is especially rich with complex, passionate, three-dimensional characters, lush settings, and elegant language.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An Audiophile's Dream
- By Joseph on 09-01-11
By: Clive Barker
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The Kingdom
- By: Emmanuel Carrère, John Lambert - translator, Claire Bloom - director
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 16 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 62
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 52
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50
Gripped by the tale of a Messiah whose blood we drink and body we eat, the genre-defying author Emmanuel Carrère revisits the story of the early Church in his latest work. With an idiosyncratic and at times iconoclastic take on the charms and foibles of the Church fathers, Carrère ferries listeners through his "doors" into the biblical narrative. Once inside, he follows the ragtag group of early Christians through the tumultuous days of the faith's founding.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The Gospel of Emmanuel
- By Mark on 12-31-17
By: Emmanuel Carrère, and others
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Stonefather
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Emily Janice Card
- Length: 3 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,030
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,614
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,611
When Runnel leaves his mountain valley to head for the great city of the water mages, he has no idea of his own magical talents. But he soon finds that without meaning to, he complicates and then endangers the lives of everyone he comes to know and care about. For when it comes to magic, there are rules and laws, and the untrained mage-to-be must be careful not to tap into deep forces and ancient enmities. Otherwise, other people might end up paying the price for his mistakes.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Familiar and unique--a breath of fresh air
- By Scott on 03-10-09
By: Orson Scott Card
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The Red-Haired Woman
- A Novel
- By: Orhan Pamuk
- Narrated by: John Lee, Katharine Lee McEwan
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 86
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 75
On the outskirts of a town 30 miles from Istanbul, a master well digger and his young apprentice are hired to find water on a barren plain. As they struggle in the summer heat, excavating without luck meter by meter, the two will develop a filial bond neither has known before - not the poor middle-aged bachelor nor the middle-class boy whose father disappeared after being arrested for politically subversive activities. The pair will come to depend on each other and exchange stories reflecting disparate views of the world.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Drags On
- By T. Conrad on 10-25-17
By: Orhan Pamuk
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The Memory of Earth
- Homecoming, Volume 1
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,479
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,818
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,827
High above the planet Harmony, the Oversoul watches. Its task, programmed so many millennia ago, is to guard the human settlement on this planet, to protect this fragile remnant of Earth from all threats...to protect them, most of all, from themselves.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I keep hoping, but, alas, ...
- By Old Hippy on 02-22-10
By: Orson Scott Card
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Great Lives: Moses
- A Man of Selfless Dedication (Great Lives Series)
- By: Charles R. Swindoll
- Narrated by: Maurice England
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 51
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 48
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Story5 out of 5 stars 48
What can the incredible life of Moses teach us about modern Christianity? When you face your personal Red Sea, will you be prepared like Moses was? In Great Lives: Moses, pastor and bestselling author Charles Swindoll gives us the facts based squarely on the truth revealed in God's Word. He also fills in the fine-line details of Moses' life with emotion and feeling, because Moses, like all of us, was a human being with faults and frailties. And finally, Swindoll helps us apply the lessons of Moses' life to our own daily dilemmas.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great insight!
- By Amazon Customer on 11-26-20
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The Stranger House
- By: Reginald Hill
- Narrated by: Gordon Griffin
- Length: 16 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 154
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 100
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Story4 out of 5 stars 99
For years, the Stranger House has stood in the village of Illthwaite, offering refuge to travellers. People like Sam, a brilliant young mathematician, who believes that anything that can't be explained by maths isn't worth explaining. And Miguel, a historian running from a priests' seminary, who sees ghosts. Sam is an experienced young woman, Miguel a 26-year-old virgin.
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3 out of 5 stars
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an OK read
- By Jen Terry on 01-18-08
By: Reginald Hill
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Aavarana
- The Veil
- By: Sandeep Balakrishna - translator, S. L. Bhyrappa
- Narrated by: Deepti Gupta
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story5 out of 5 stars 32
Aavarana: The Veil by S. L. Bhyrappa is a story of a free-spirited and rebellious young woman, Lakshmi, who marries the man she is deeply in love with. Amir, her husband, requests she convert to Islam, and she reluctantly agrees. Despite her father being completely against the marriage, she breaks ties with him and changes her name to Razia. However, things change for the worse, and she discovers a different side to Amir. He is not the progressive and liberal person she thought he was.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent Narration
- By Vikram on 04-10-23
By: Sandeep Balakrishna - translator, and others
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The Daily Message
- By: Eugene H. Peterson
- Narrated by: Kelly Ryan Dolan
- Length: 76 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 259
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 166
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 166
The much-anticipated daily "reading" version of The Message in audio format is finally here. Designed for individuals as well as small groups, The Daily Message combines Discipleship Journal's renowned book-at-a-time reading plan with a flexible format that allows the listener to go through the Bible in one year or spread out the listening with an alternate two-year plan. This version provides monthly plans for 26 readings, and allows for reflection time, minimizing frustration.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Making daily Bible reading an attainable goal!
- By Mark and Amy Acker on 09-12-12
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He Still Moves Stones
- By: Max Lucado
- Narrated by: Max Lucado
- Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
- Abridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 90
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 75
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Story5 out of 5 stars 76
Why does the Bible contain so many stories of hurting people? Though their situations vary, their conditions don't. They have nowhere to turn. Yet before their eyes stands a never-say-die Galilean who majors in stepping in when everyone else steps out. Lucado reminds us that the purpose of these portraits isn't to tell us what Jesus did-but rather to remind us what Jesus still does.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love this book
- By Trudy Leggett on 01-05-24
By: Max Lucado
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And It Was Good
- Reflections on Beginnings (The Genesis Trilogy, Book 1)
- By: Madeleine L'Engle, Rachel Held Evans - Foreword
- Narrated by: Pamela Almand
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 41
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 35
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Story5 out of 5 stars 34
This classic work of spirituality from the author of A Wrinkle in Time offers life-transforming insights on the rich heritage of the Bible and shows how the characters of this ancient text are relevant for living the good life now. In the first book of her Genesis Trilogy, beloved author Madeleine L'Engle casts long, loving, and perceptive glances not only at the created universe but also at its Creator.
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5 out of 5 stars
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interesting book
- By Naomi Gardner on 08-21-19
By: Madeleine L'Engle, and others
What listeners say about The Holy F--king Bible
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 02-06-24
Great guy
Is he sending in his resumes
Maybe not even be able too use this
Excuse me
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kim Dietter
- 08-15-23
Different Perspective on an Age Old Tale
I have found listening to Mr. Shaw read his work is a little happy treat in my day. His version of the Old Testament was quite entertaining. Right off the back he gives you that warning that he's doing it regardless how you feel and he makes no apologies. He also tells the audience, this is for those individuals who had no intention of reading the Bible. As a person who grew up Baptist and live life as a Pagan, having this perspective that includes "The Gods" (once you read/listen you'll understand) as they work the the creations of life and the first half of the Bible. There may or may not be the introduction to the scientific explanation of creation too, but I'll never tell for certain.
This was so much fun to listen to and I learned/revisited things I was shaky on although only so much could be fit in the allotted time. But if you're on a short trip and you've got an hour, definitely give this a chance.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mel and Em
- 08-04-22
hilarious
what a fun twist on the Bible and even though it's poking fun it actually was less mean and pure comedy and Matt's performance fits it perfectly 10/10
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- sandrine Levy
- 06-15-23
Pure comedy
Matt's performance was amazing. I was expecting mean based on the intro, but was laughing out loud in the middle of the street. Great book!
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