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What Were You Thinking? Audiobook

What Were You Thinking?: $600-Per-Hour Legal Advice on Relationships, Marriage, and Divorce

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Publisher's Summary

Wouldn't it be nice if you could sit down with an attorney who normally charges $600 per hour and receive expert legal advice on what is no doubt one of the biggest decisions you will ever make in your life?

Here is your chance. Mark A. Barondess has written an absolutely indispensable guide for anyone considering coupling, or uncoupling. Filled with hilarious anecdotes, solid legal advice and tricks of the trade you will not find anywhere else, this is THE must-have guide to what everyone needs to know when it comes to the legal ramifications of relationships, marriage, and divorce.

Not only will you get the benefit of Mark's 20 years as a top family law practitioner, you will also receive exclusive candid advice from some of Mark's friends including Larry King, Dr. Phil, Montel Williams, legal legend Robert Shapiro, comedic great Lewis Black, and even rock star Gene Simmons. They all weigh in with their unique thoughts and advice on marriage and divorce.

"Many of life's greatest rewards are bestowed upon those who take the biggest risks. However, before you take any great risk, you should at least have a basic appreciation of the potential consequences of your decision. So pull up a seat, and let's have a conversation. No need to rush, the clock isn't running. Tell me, honestly...what were you thinking?"

©2005 Mark Barondess; (P)2005 Phoenix Audio

What the Critics Say

"Barondess' informed and occasionally raucous examination of the institution is cheaper than consulting a divorce attorney or hiring a wedding caterer, and is well-worth a look before doing either." (Publishers Weekly)
"Marriage and divorce are two very serious and expensive decisions (trust me, I know). At $600 per hour, this hilarious but sobering book contains approximately $44,000 worth of legal advice from one of the top lawyers in the country. If only I had read this book first." (Montel Williams)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.3 (86 )
5 star
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Overall
3.3 (29 )
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Story
3.1 (32 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Becky Auburn, NY, USA 05-14-07
    Becky Auburn, NY, USA 05-14-07
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "What the book is really about"

    Plan and simple. This book will not recommend ways to better relate to some one you care about. It will list many reasons NOT to get married, and very few reasons as to why you should get married. It offers NO advice as to how to fix what is currently wrong with a relationship. Do not give this as a wedding gift, but it would be good to give to someone contemplating a divorce.

    5 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ginger Milford, DE, USA 09-15-06
    Ginger Milford, DE, USA 09-15-06
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    "Currently Going Through a Divorce"

    I am currently going through a divorce and found this audiobook absolutely WONDERFUL! The author is very intersting and the content was useful. This would be a great gift for any young person even contemplating marriage. They may indeed change their mind!

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    T. Combs 12-03-08
    T. Combs 12-03-08
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    "good material with a few caveats"

    Interesting material. It's not for or against marriage, but rather a sobering perspective on what you are getting into when you say "I do." It's not boring, as the legal material is interspersed among stories from both the author and others. Overall, this book made a good, if not outstanding, listen as the hours along I-80 continued for what seemed like eternity.

    My two complaints would be the lower production value and the reader. The production value is not as good as it should be. The sound volume fluctuates periodically and you can occasionally hear the reader turning papers...Now the reader...He wrote a good book, but he isn't a professional voice and it really shows. He's not horrible, just not good. I strongly recommend listening to the sample before buying this book to make sure you are okay with his reading.

    Other than that, listen and learn...



    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Stuart Garden Grove, CA, USA 11-04-06
    Stuart Garden Grove, CA, USA 11-04-06
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    "I recommend this to everyone"

    In the many years I have listened to audio books - this is one of the best. This guy really 'nails' it. The information is not just complete but at times moving. The delievery is well paced and easily understandable. This is a must hear for anyone going into or moving out of a relationship. This has positively changed my life and I remain grateful to the author. This audio book is long but really worth it and it's not boring but interesting, well paced and complete. Wow!!! Thank you Mr. Barondess.

    Sincerely, Stuart

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Christy Salt Lake City, UT, United States 02-13-12
    Christy Salt Lake City, UT, United States 02-13-12
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    "Entertaining, but not $600 advice"
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    If you're looking for entertaining thoughts on marriage and divorce, you might enjoy the ruminations of celebrities; Mr. Barondess is rather fond of name dropping.


    What was most disappointing about Mark Barondess’s story?

    Although this book was enjoyable, it wasn't anything close to providing serious, straightforward $600 legal advice. There was nothing I didn't already know. (Example: the best advice to avoid divorce? Don't get married.) If this is the kind of thing he's charging $600/hour for, might as well go with the cheap divorce lawyer.


    Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Mark Barondess?

    Mark was a fine reader; he was enjoyable to listen to. The production quality was fairly low. You could hear papers shuffling, a handful of mis-reads and startovers, and some weird pronunciations. But I wouldn't disregard the audiobook for that reason.


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Blah. Okay to listen to, but I got nothing out of it. If you marry the right person, you can be happy. If you don't, divorce is miserable. No surprises here.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kourosh Los angeles, CA, USA 06-17-09
    Kourosh Los angeles, CA, USA 06-17-09 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "A must read before you get married"

    Take his advise very seriously. I have experienced everything he says personally.
    I was hoping for some legal advise but it's missing.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Phil O. San Diego, CA, United States 01-04-16
    Phil O. San Diego, CA, United States 01-04-16 Member Since 2011
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    "Some wisdom, bits of law, snark & name-drops"

    When I did my divorce (I was actively practicing law at the time), I paid a divorce attorney by the hour for specific, fast answers to my main questions. The responses were specific to my state jurisdiction and quite precise. Of course, my questions were pretty precise too. Great, I thought upon seeing this book, and with a good memory of that attorney consultation, I could use some more background (as I have not remarried and have zero intention to). But this book doesn't, largely, hit the same mark, or even have the same aim. Halfway through this book, I have heard all of 30 seconds of that form of advice. And even that is hedged by saying some states do this, some do that. Instead what I have mostly heard are some cynical (if useful) sort of broadly prudent remarks about marriage (OK, this is useful for a lot of ordinary suckers I meet everyday who could have used this advice going in, and who quite frequently wind up with years and hundreds of thousands of bucks worth of unnecessary grief and squandered resources). And of course there is a certain snarkiness which might be to the liking of some. So, there is some use to it, if one lacks this wisdom or is in a pink cloud of a relationship such that his/her thinking is impaired (as humans are wired to experience, quite powerfully. That's where babies come from!). And it could be, for some, a major list of things (especially for those not very analytical or logical by training) to think through first, before putting one's assets and life, as this author analogizes it, all on a bet on red or black at a roulette table representing the 50 percent failure rate in marriage. That could have been useful before my own marriage. But by this time, I'm already there. And in this book there are some artfully put pieces of description scattered here and there about things like prenuptual agreements. I think this author does have a way of talking sense to the average Joe or Jane in the throes of rosy-tinged love, that might be life-saving, or at least cost-avoiding. That might be PART of a lawyer's job, if a sort of counseling rather than, to my thinking, "legal advice." And simple names and definition of some legal tools are sprinkled through. However, this book IS explicitly marketed as "legal advice" (a phrase I would never put in a book title myself, despite its allure to book buyers and potentially, the feedback to an author's wallet). Much of this book is digression into all sorts of more or less irrelevant stuff -- how relevant are the choices of the very rich Gene Simmons of Kiss in his own cohabitation relationship with the also well-off Shannon Tweed? Hearing that in a law office, I would demand some refund on my $600 per hour, if that is the "advice" I'm getting! Sure, Hollywood types can easily have designer or disposable relationships with kids, etc., having big bank accounts and staffs of helpers and so on. Maybe too the lawyers they hang out with. How does this narrative trip to hookups at the Playboy Mansion present a path for Joe six-pack just trying to make some durable plans? And yeah, there are "swinger clubs" where some (possibly, hypothetically) happily married people go, wow, folks are different in a pluralistic and permissive society? Thanks a lot. And how wonderful for the author that he found some survey he made of the swingers' clubs disgusting. Is the $600/hour meter still running on all this? "Legal advice" in my opinion is normally thought of as particular to a person's situation. But some Hollywood/celeb or very exotic, odd story is, to my thinking, primarily relevant to this author crowing about who he knows, and making himself feel good about it and maybe trying to impress or amuse the reader. I'm not quite so easily impressed. It's sort of a fun listen, but not in my opinion at the caliber ("$600 per-hour" it is touted) it purports to be. I'm dubious about having paid the one-credit cost. BTW, I paid that very effective divorce attorney $250 per hour for many fewer hours than this book's length, to get the actual kind of tailored advice and substance of the sort I wanted to get here. (And to see it in book length and of course somewhat more generalized would be good. If such a book exists, and it probably does.) The rest of my divorce I worked out myself with other resources, including my own study and drafting time, but I was after all an attorney myself. However I would recommend this book, for example, to a young person in love and contemplating (through a haze of hormones) the venture to eternal love. Come to think of it, some older people I know are foolish enough to warrant a listen to this too. It is the sort of talk your cynical uncle the lawyer might give you, and really mean it and have your interests at heart (never hesitating, however, to make you sit through some war stories from left field). But charge $600? Meh.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    mdvx 09-12-14
    mdvx 09-12-14 Member Since 2016
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    "Good Lawyer arguing for lawyering"
    What did you love best about What Were You Thinking??

    The best decision I make in my divorce, was to fire my lawyer after 24 hrs, represent myself, and hire a consultant lawyer; for me taking charge produced the desired outcome. Know what you want from your council.
    PS: my Ex is a lawyer


    What three words best describe Mark Barondess’s voice?

    A little too fast, and my sofware would not let me slow him down by 10%


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    yes


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    robert AMHERST, NY, United States 11-28-12
    robert AMHERST, NY, United States 11-28-12
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    "A MUST LISTEN"
    What did you love best about What Were You Thinking??

    Getting divorced you need this


    What other book might you compare What Were You Thinking? to and why?

    don't know


    Which scene was your favorite?

    Material Money


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    A smile and a oh sh-t


    Any additional comments?

    a must

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 08-14-12 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Good advice. Somewhat harsh as the truth often is."
    Where does What Were You Thinking? rank among all the audiobooks you???ve listened to so far?

    Middle


    What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?

    Victoria's Secret purchases being brought up in a divorce..lol


    Which character ??? as performed by Mark Barondess ??? was your favorite?

    Not sure I had a favorite character.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    Both


    Any additional comments?

    Good advice but be warned it's brutally honest.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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