Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

30 True Things You Need to Know Now

By: Gordon Livingston

Narrated by: James Jenner

Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins

Publisher's summary

From a psychiatrist who has spent the past 30 years listening to other people's most intimate secrets and troubles comes an eloquent, incisive, and deeply perceptive book about the things we all share, and which every one of us grapples with as we strive to make the most of the life we have left.

After service in Vietnam as a surgeon for the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment in 1968-69, at the height of the war, Dr. Gordon Livingston returned to the U.S. and began work as a psychiatrist. In that capacity, he has listened to people talk about their lives, what works, what doesn't, and the limitless ways (most of them self-inflicted) that we have found to be unhappy. He is also a parent twice bereaved. In one 13-month period, he lost his eldest son to suicide, his youngest to leukemia.

Out of a lifetime of experience, Livingston has extracted 30 bedrock truths: We are what we do. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Only bad things happen quickly. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas. Livingston illuminates these and 24 others in a series of carefully hewn, perfectly calibrated essays, many of which emphasize our closest relationships and the things that we do to impede or, less frequently, enhance them. Again and again, these essays underscore that "we are what we do", and that while there may be no escaping who we are, we also have the capacity to face loss, misfortune, and regret and to move beyond them, that it is not too late.

©2004 Gordon Livingston (P)2005 Recorded Books, LLC

Critic reviews

"Among the many blithe and hollow self-help books available everywhere, this book stands out as a jewel." (Publishers Weekly)

Not for the

This book isn't for victims. It's for people who are looking for solid, no nonsense, insight on how to move on and move ahead. I felt that the author wasn't judgmental...just extremely factual. It's a great book and I highly recommend it.

Big time bonus points to the reader. His voice is perfect for the material. He doesn't read too quickly, and his inflections are a fantastic addition to the words.

Pointing Out All Peoples' Shortcomings

I see what another reviewer meant about this book being "depressing". The author seems to point out all the shortcomings of people - failings, bad habits, unhappy relationships, etc. At first I found it funny. But, then I found it hard to listen to, and it started to sound like whining. I was hoping to hear more insights versus his spending so much time pointing out or whining about all the problems about people that I already know.

Great book. I want more!

Great book covering many aspects of choosing to be happy in life. I would have taken more details or depth in some parts, but perhaps it was the author intention to let us do some part of the work.

I will read more from this author.

No Nonsense, but a bit boring

The other reviewers are accurate in that the author doesn't cut you any slack nor allow you to be a victim - I am all for that, but even I found the author to be a bit judgemental. If you are already hard core about being self accountable, then this book has some good ideas and things to consider. If you have your feelings easily hurt, I suggest something from the Oprah Book Club.

Good overall Points

The points made are a little depressing in the way it is presented. However, seemed quite accurate. Talks a lot about positivity and optimism but conveys the opposite. Definitely had me thinking about the things.

Critical for our modern era

It clearly delineates our need to take personal responsibility and how to use that to improve our mental health and personal lives.

This guy is a straight shooter

I really liked that this guy does not buy into the whole victim approach to looking at our problems. He favors taking responsibility. Imagine -- suggesting that children aren't responsible for their aging parents. Parents need to age gracefully, stop griping, keep up some interests, and not drag everyone down into their often-self-created pool of misery. What a concept! This is just one of the eye-opening suggestions this guy makes. It meanders a little bit here and there, but overall it is a nice concise group of essays.

Very concise on information

Probably one of the better of the books that I have listened too. The information presented here is clear, concise and accurate for those looking to move on from old haunts and hurts. Some may find it a bit harsh since it makes you look at yourself and have your excuses taken away. All in all a great book that I listen to over and over.

Real Philosophy

Smarten up before you are too old. Jaw-dropping reality from an inspiringly courageous man. Performance is superb.

Necessary information

What did you love best about Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart?

I was taken immediately by Livingston's writing and honesty. No platitudes, no telling in anyone he has the answers to life's questions. His writing is like having a conversation with some one who has been there. One opening sentence tells us if the map doesn't agree with the map, the map is wrong. I highly recommend this book, for it's pin point view of life.

What other book might you compare Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart to and why?

If you have read Mr. Livingston's book Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, you will find the latest A Year of Magical Thing another insightful book by the wonderful Joan Didion. She is as precise as always and you can feel her pain and then her growing out of her pain.