Dr. Wes Crenshaw offers thirteen principles for successful living with ADD and ADHD drawn from twenty-two years of experience and 23,000 hours of clinical discussions with hundreds of interesting clients. Written in an entertaining, conversational style for readers aged fifteen to thirty, Dr. Wes pulls no punches in confronting the cognitive, social, emotional, and academic pitfalls people with ADD face every day. He also helps families, friends, and romantic partners understand a diagnosis of ADD not as something to fear or an excuse, but as a first step on the path to a better tomorrow.
His principles include accepting here and now, living intentionally, making mindful decisions, recognizing and taking the right path and not just the easy one, wanting rather than wishing, finding and following life's instructions, managing crises, taking responsibility, attaining character through radical honesty, and creating sustainable happiness through organized thinking and living. Finally, Dr. Wes guides you and your loved ones in how to better manage relationships, seek a good diagnosis, utilize therapy, and become your own expert on medication management.
©2014 Wes Crenshaw, PhD (P)2014 Wes Crenshaw, PhD
This is by far the best book on the market for ADD today. Dr. Wes breaks down ADD and ADHD in a way that is easy to understand and easy for a person with ADD/ADHD to relate to, follow and absorb.
I can't compare this book to anything else out there. I've read a lot of self-help books, and I've never read a book like this before or since. I cringe to call it a self-help book, what with all the hokey, new-age baggage that term brings with it, but I'll call a duck a duck for what it's worth. This book, along with a good deal of therapy, has helped me more than I can say.
It's so hard to pick just one...but if I had to, I'd have to pick Chapter 5 - "Follow Your Heart?" Not only is the vignette at the beginning one of the funniest in the book, but for me, reading about the perils of following your heart as a person with ADD, changed my life. This chapter was a wake up call, and it came exactly when I needed it. It was not long after finishing that chapter that I finally filled out the FAFSA, enrolled back into school and started getting my life on track for the first time in my almost thirty years on Earth.
I went through the entire range of emotions relating to the characters in the vignettes. I Always Want To Be Where I'm Not is both hilarious and heart-wrenching, in equal measure.
I couldn't recommend this book more highly for anyone who is dealing with ADD/ADHD, either personally or with a close friend or relative (or, as in my case, both)! Dr. Wes provides amazing insight into not only the psychology of ADD, but the impacts on a person's job, friendships, love life, surroundings...he touches on every aspect of how ADD affects a person and their ability to deal with, cope with, and interact with life. From the seemingly insurmountable clutter in your living room to the maddening clutter in your mind, he provides advice and strategies to clean up your life and your mind. This book is insightful, thought-provoking, educational, and incredibly inspiring.
As someone who needed more info on ADHD, I found the content of this book to be wide ranging and helpful. My only complaint was the narration of the author. Choppy. No rhythm. Annoying really.
I found the book to be extremely informative. However, the pace of the narration was off-putting. I've ordered the book for my ADHD teen because I know if she were to listen to it, her focus would be on the narrator, not the content.
All my life I have been told, “you’re lazy, just do it”. Now Wes is telling me, “I know you have ADHD, but just do it”. This book just outlines how we ADHD'ers need to meet our responsibilities, which is something we already know. Knowing what to do is not our problem, actually doing it is. If we could “just do it”, it would already be done. Given ADHD is a deficiency with a neurobiological basis, rather than a moral shortcoming, strategies, preferably based in scientific research, would be much more helpful. Unfortunately, I did not get one useful strategy from this publication. I don’t think any were offered. I actually found it rather condescending, and full of religious overtones and moral judgements. Some of the patient stories were good and they did resonate with me. That is not what I need though. In all honesty there is a lot better information available on the net with useful strategies for helping you actually do the things someone with ADHD may struggle with. Do not waste money on this.
The narrator was hard to hear, and overall was not easy to listen to. The content of the material seemed to just tell the listener about the patients. I was expecting to learn ways to help deal with or change ways of thinking or living with ADD and ADHD. It was a bad purchase.
Only if it were free.
Disappointment in the lack of information.
Before I begin my review, I think its important to know a little about me. I have been diagnosed and treated for ADD since I was 6 years old and I am now 28. I was tested three times throughout my life and all three times it was concluded that I have ADD. My father and younger brother are also diagnosed with ADHD. Since, I have been treated pretty much all my life and have made considerable steps to overcome my ADD tendencies, I have achieved great success and life accomplishments. Some of these accomplishments include graduating college, going on to earning a Master's degree with a 3.7 GPA, earned two professional licenses, maintained a well respected career and getting married to a wonderful man. However, none of my accomplishments came easy; it took A LOT work and a very strong support system to get to where I am today. Although, I made tremendous strides in overcoming my ADD tendencies...my work is far from finished. I still need make a conscious effort everyday to overcome my tendencies and I do take medication during the work week to help me accomplish daily mundane tasks.
I decided to read the book "I Always Want to Be Where I'm Not: Successful Living with ADD and ADHD" by Wes Crenshaw as I really want to make a stronger effort in regulating my ADD...Especially since I plan to have children in the next few years. Overall, I found the book to be beneficial. Dr. Wes highlighted from the beginning that the book will address a variety of issues that ADD and ADHD people may or may not struggle with. Hence, I related with some stories and chapters much more than others. Knowing his clientele, Dr. Wes made his book ADD friendly by providing a checklist on what each chapter will cover so that readers can decided whether or not the chapter is for them. I personally read every chapter out of curiosity even if I didn't necessarily relate to the chapter or story. I found the book to be very eye opening to listen to how the rest of the world sees people with ADD/ADHD. The book was difficult to listen to at times as it hit on some touchy issues. However, It was good for me to hear so that I can continue to address these issues. I also did think he gave some great feedback in addressing some of the negative tendencies that comes with ADD/ADHD.
I recently read one review on this book that said that they felt that Dr. Wes was condescending. Although, I did not feel that he was condescending throughout this book, I would have certainty felt that way 10 years ago. Growing up with ADD can take a significant toll on your self-esteem and self-worth. I think if I were to have read this book as a teen, I would not receive this book very well. I would have felt worse about my diagnosis and hopeless. I believe positive encouragement and a strong support system is key for a teen with ADD/ADHD. Since this book wasn't just a informational book about ADD/ADHD and it was geared specifically to people with the diagnosis, I felt that it should have been a little more encouraging to inspire positive change. Although, with that said, it was nice to hear some of positive endings of the stories throughout the book in the epilogue. However, since the book is geared for the ADD/ADHD audience, who has a quick attention span, they may not read to the end so I think it may be better to put the ending of these stories in the chapters which they started.
Overall, I think this was a good book and I would recommend it to people who have loved ones with ADD/ADHD and adults who have ADD/ADHD who are committed to treatment.
The cadence used by the narrator made following along impossible. It's almost as if the reader goes out of his way to underscore how add affects listening.
In Depth over view of ADD/ADHD.
I learn helpful information regarding some magament skill and medication treatment.
The different types of medication treatments, how they are use, and how they work.
The book was very informative. However it seemed to but a negative spin or light on the condition. The case studies examples were, for the most part, focused on the negative attributes of ADD/ADHD.
I've never written a review for anything...ever but here it goes.
Dr. Wes provides a gentle, humorous and honest path to consider...for anyone with or without add. This audiobook is by far the best in my library on this topic. If you are suspecting, diagnosed already, struggling or not, listen to this book. I hope someday to give this dude a big hug! Thanks Dr. Wes!
He is insightful and sensitive to his reader's feelings. Read it over and over to fully grasp his testimony.
I've been diagnosed with adhd recently as an adult, the condition that severely affected my life. After listening to this book I feel uplifted and hopeful. feels great to know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel.
"Food for thought"
This book if full of excellent advice on how to live life well, whether you got ADHD diagnosis or not. It is also very helpful in opening eyes to how many people around us behave in odd ways, what we can do or sometimes not do about it. I am in the wondrous world of music and 'normal' people are rather unusual. So this was just perfect listen.
I found the tone of the book to be very patronising and written in a parent-child communication style (despite the stories) which did not work for me. Not sure I got that many ideas/techniques from it either. The story is quite focused on pushing the point that one has to accept rules, systems etc., they are good for you in the long run etc. Barely managed to listen to the end. I don't doubt thought that the author helps a lot of the people with ADHD/ADD looking for a stable parental figure. My main take-away from the book was that there are two polar conditions: anxiety and ADHD and that many people can lean more or less either way and that anxiety is the motor behind wanting to get things organised, done on time etc. So that bit was interesting.
"Learnt too much about myself"
First, the way he reads is clear and easy to listen to. Not too slow!
I learnt so much about myself, literally felt like this guy knew me and he's never met me!! crazy.
definitely reccomend this book, it really makes you realise what holds you back and how to deal with it.
"Very practical and helpful"
Thirteen principles are useful are approach and has some pleasantly progressive and innovative views on solving some issues e.g monogamy might not suit everyone
"Excellent book for any reader who wants to improve"
As someone with ADD it is an excellent way to get the info by listening
listening to other people's stories and relating to them
ADD is an explanation not an excuse
It may me feel human
Everyone should read this book! It has wonderful down to earth practical advise
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