When Linda Babcock asked why so many male graduate students were teaching their own courses and most female students were assigned as assistants, her dean said: "More men ask. The women just don't ask." It turns out that whether they want higher salaries or more help at home, women often find it hard to ask. Sometimes they don't know that change is possible--they don't know that they can ask. Sometimes they fear that asking may damage a relationship. And sometimes they don't ask because they've learned that society can react badly to women asserting their own needs and desires.
By looking at the barriers holding women back and the social forces constraining them, Women Don't Ask shows women how to reframe their interactions and more accurately evaluate their opportunities. It teaches them how to ask for what they want in ways that feel comfortable and possible, taking into account the impact of asking on their relationships. And it teaches all of us how to recognize the ways in which our institutions, child-rearing practices, and unspoken assumptions perpetuate inequalities--inequalities that are not only fundamentally unfair but also inefficient and economically unsound. With women's progress toward full economic and social equality stalled, women's lives becoming increasingly complex, and the structures of businesses changing, the ability to negotiate is no longer a luxury but a necessity.
Drawing on research in psychology, sociology, economics, and organizational behavior as well as dozens of interviews with men and women from all walks of life, Women Don't Ask is the first book to identify the dramatic difference between men and women in their propensity to negotiate for what they want. It tells women how to ask, and why they should.
©2003 Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever (P)2012 Audible, Inc.
I would not listen to this book again only because I felt it was very repetitive. I did, however, bookmark some points I will most likely revisit in the future.
The scientific research and studies that prove how women are paid less and expected to be paid less. It really encouraged me to ask more for what I want in all aspects of my life without being defensive, but understanding that just because it is expected for me to accept less, does not mean that I have to do so.
The whole book had the same effect for me.
I was really moved when hearing the stories of different women that either benefited from asking or were too afraid to ask for what they wanted and ended up settling for less.
This book is really motivating. I purchased it when I started the interview process for a new job. I wanted to make sure I knew to how to negotiate since I was very nervous about the entire topic. I received some really good ideas and was able to negotiate my offer from a 7% increase to a 9% increase. I felt I would not have had the courage to do so without this book! I only gave it 4 stars because it was a bit too repetitive and the narration had a complaining tone at times. Other than that a great read!
You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. —Wayne Gretzky
To begin I'd like to say that I believe that the disparity between sexes is a growing issue in the modern world. And the reason I bought this book was to learn ways I could negotiate better deals with women understanding more how they approach negotiation.
I got what I was looking for, partially; because the author spends the first 2/3 of the book just talking about how bad the society views women when they take a more aggressive approach.
After every point the author tries to get across she emphasizes it by giving example after example. It gets pretty boring after sometime since they are all the same. These examples could be very well be removed entirely from the book since it gets very repetitive and does not contribute at all besides filling pages.
To save your time, go straight to the important part of the book; simply go directly to chapter 7. From that point onwards is the best part of the book
However much of what the author says about negotiation is pretty basic stuff! If you are going to buy this book only to know more about negotiating, I would recommend skipping this one, even if you are a woman.
Recommended for every woman out there. All the points indicated resonated with me, and I am sure it would for most of you. Negotiating has always been a problem for me, the impact is being way too huge now that I have started my own business and stepped away from the corporate world. I am hoping this book will help me gradually change that.
This book should be mandatory for all humans. It describes the problem (that women do not negotiate for themselves nearly as often as men do, offers potential explanations for the reasons why this is the current state of the world, and describes the consequences that it has on the world. Many scientific studies and experiments are referenced, as well as many (non-scientific) anecdotes. It does a great job of making its case, and inspired me to negotiate more for myself in my life. It helped give me the confidence to negotiate a 42% raise and a new job offer for myself. The book does not go much into strategies for negotiating, but I plan to read Linda Babcock's next book, which promises to go into more detail on this.
A great read, and an important one. For both women and men.
I LOVE SciFi ! I'm also a PhD student in Engineering and can only find the time to read using Audible!
My favorite part about this book is that it blames no one, but instead explains the current situation with examples, statistics, and a discussion of what in our society may have caused these ideas in the first place. Then it offers specific advice in how to do your part through actions at home and in the work place (not rallies or writing to your representative) that will not only make your situation better in the current society, but how to start changing society's mind about women for the future. Now get out there and negotiate!
Mother, Wife, Cultural Anthropologist, always a scholar and lover of books!
Eye-opening, inspiring and well-written (and well-narrated), this book is a treasure in Women's studies, and in preparing women to ASK for what they want.
This book is full of lots and lots of data to back up the description of the sorry state women's rights. Fairly depressing to listen too but I do think it is very important for women to be exposed to this information!
In the beginning three quarters of the book, the author promises to uncover the secret to successful negotiation for women. Unfortunately they only present vague descriptions of successful negotiators. The how-to is lacking.
Good insight especially for men who never thought about this concept at all! I always wonder why women never said what was on their mind and/or ask what they deeply wanted
I thought I was a pretty good negotiator and my work associates scored that skill in my top 5 in a recent 360 degree feedback. However, this book illuminated circumstances where it didn't occur for me to ask and showed how deeply rooted and unconscious some of my own self-perceptions were, based on gender-based childhood experiences and cultural influences. My actions and therefore my results in the future will now be different and more impactful as a result of this book and I am paying it forward to other women by my hearty and almost fervent recommendation of it. Read it, you will be grateful that you took the action!
make time to listen even snapshots at a time. much useful info. my 18 year old daughter enjoyed listening with me. when I would swop to the radio she'd say no leave it on ...its interesting and I would love to hear more...its helpful.
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