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If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 25 mins
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Publisher's summary
New York Times best-selling author Jason Pargin’s hilarious and horrifying John Dies at the End series continues with If This Book Exists, You’re in the Wrong Universe.
"Pargin once again delights with scathing social commentary thinly disguised as an outrageous action novel.... This is a feast." (Publishers Weekly)
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Did I mention the possessed toy? It’s a plastic football-sized egg that’s supposed to hatch an adorable, colorful stuffed bird when a child “feeds” it through a synchronized smartphone app. What’s actually inside is an otherworldly monstrosity that’s enticing impressionable wayward youth into murdering folks and depositing their body parts inside the egg as if it’s a hungry piggy bank to trigger the end of the world.
That’s where Dave, John, and Amy come in. They face supernatural threats so the rest of us don’t have to—and sometimes even earn a couple of bucks to so do. But between the bloody ritual sacrifices and soul-crushing nightmares, our trio realizes this apocalypse is way above their pay grade.
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Ever come across a situation that simply wasn't right - where someone was getting the dirty end of the stick and you wished you could make things right but didn't know how? Fourteen-year-old Jack knows how. Or rather he's learning how. He's discovering that he has a knack for fixing things. Not bikes or toys or appliances - situations...It all starts when Jack and his best friends, Weezy and Eddie, discover a rotting corpse - the victim of ritual murder - in the fabled New Jersey Pine Barrens. Beside the body is an ancient artifact carved with strange designs.
By: F. Paul Wilson
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We Are All Completely Fine
- By: Daryl Gregory
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Harrison is the Monster Detective, a storybook hero. Now he’s in his mid-30s and spends most of his time not sleeping. Stan became a minor celebrity after being partially eaten by cannibals. Barbara is haunted by the messages carved upon her bones. Greta may or may not be a mass-murdering arsonist. And for some reason, Martin never takes off his sunglasses.
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original and unique
- By Midwestbonsai on 03-22-15
By: Daryl Gregory
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The Vanishing Season
- By: Joanna Schaffhausen
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Ellery Hathaway knows a thing or two about serial killers, but not through her police training. She's an officer in sleepy Woodbury, Massachusetts, where a bicycle theft still makes the newspapers. No one there knows she was once victim number 17 in the grisly story of serial killer Francis Michael Coben. The only victim who lived. When three people disappear from her town in three years, all around her birthday - the day she was kidnapped so long ago - Ellery fears someone knows her secret. Someone very dangerous.
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Engaging mystery debut!
- By robbie mcgraw on 06-15-18
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Lost and Found
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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That's the question that has haunted 14-year-old Ezekiel Blast all his life. But he's not a thief, he just has a talent for finding things. Not a superpower - a micropower. Because what good is finding lost bicycles and hair scrunchies, especially when you return them to their owners and everyone thinks you must have stolen them in the first place? If only there were some way to use Ezekiel's micropower for good, to turn a curse into a blessing. His friend Beth thinks there must be, and so does a police detective investigating the disappearance of a little girl.
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Good book from a great Author
- By Jim on 03-30-21
By: Orson Scott Card
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The Creepypasta Collection
- Modern Urban Legends You Can’t Unread
- By: MrCreepyPasta - editor
- Narrated by: Heather Costa, Jeffrey Kafer
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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A terrifying, thrilling collection of must-listen horror stories chock-full of nightmarish supernatural beings and the murderously disturbed that are sure to keep you up all night long.
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creepy definitely
- By Danh on 01-16-22
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Drawn
- By: James Hankins
- Narrated by: Gabrielle De Cuir, Paul Boehmer, Christian Rummel, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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In Drawn, a mysterious little boy has begun appearing in the paintings of an artist who can't remember ever actually seeing him. A partially blind, disfigured agoraphobic who suffers crippling panic attacks if he even tries to leave his apartment is forced out by an unseen entity. A lonely widower begins to suffer terrifying nightmares that his long-missing, presumed-dead son is still alive and in mortal danger. A young runaway realizes that a man he thought was his traveling companion is actually his captor...and a predator.
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So Worth a Credit!!!
- By Jan on 07-23-14
By: James Hankins
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Of Mice and Minestrone
- Hap and Leonard: The Early Years (Hap and Leonard)
- By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, Kasey Lansdale - contributor, Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is Black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing - all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food.
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Wringing every last drop
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 04-08-23
By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, and others
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The Last Place You Look
- By: Kristen Lepionka
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
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Performance
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Story
Nobody knows what happened to Sarah Cook. The beautiful blonde teenager disappeared 15 years ago, the same night her parents were brutally murdered in their suburban Ohio home. Her boyfriend, Brad Stockton - black and from the wrong side of the tracks - was convicted of the murders and is now on death row. Though he's maintained his innocence all along, the clock is running out. His execution is only weeks away when his devoted sister insists she spied Sarah at an area gas station.
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Alcoholic PI
- By Karwyn on 05-17-18
By: Kristen Lepionka
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When a Stranger Comes to Town
- By: Michael Koryta
- Narrated by: Cindy Kay, Janina Edwards, Fajer Al-Kaisi, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
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It's been said that all great literature boils down to one of two stories—a man takes a journey, or a stranger comes to town. While mystery writers have been successfully using both approaches for generations, there's something undeniably alluring in the nature of a stranger: the uninvited guest, the unacquainted neighbor, the fish out of water. In the newest collection of stories by the Mystery Writers of America, each author weaves a fresh tale surrounding the eerie feeling that comes when a stranger enters our midst, featuring stories by prolific mystery writers.
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The narrators are outstanding here.
- By Jennifer Baratta She/Her on 05-16-21
By: Michael Koryta
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Immoral
- By: Brian Freeman
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 13 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
In a riveting debut thriller that has drawn comparisons to masters of the genre like Dennis Lehane and Michael Connelly, Brian Freeman weaves obsession, sex, and revenge into a story that grips the reader with vivid characters and shocking plot twists from the first minute to the last.
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Intrigue in Minnesota.
- By Byron on 08-25-13
By: Brian Freeman
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Histories
- A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Short Story Collection (Quincy Harker Collection)
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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An attack in the dark. The loss of a love. Waking up hung over in a ditch. These are the things that make a hero, especially if that hero is Quincy Harker, immortal wizard, snarky bastard, and general badass. Histories collects two short stories and one short novella giving a peek behind the curtain at the man, the myth, the legend that is Quincy Harker, as well as the origin story of one of his most popular cohorts, Jo Henry.
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Great for newcomers and Harker fans
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-11-22
By: John G. Hartness
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Growing Things and Other Stories
- By: Paul Tremblay
- Narrated by: Sean Crisden, Graham Halstead, Cassandra Campbell, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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A chilling collection of psychological suspense and literary horror from the multiple award-winning author of the national best seller The Cabin at the End of the World and A Head Full of Ghosts. A masterful anthology featuring 19 pieces of short fiction, Growing Things and Other Stories is an exciting glimpse into Paul Tremblay’s fantastically fertile imagination.
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Paul Tremblay is totally nuts.
- By Gary & Jay on 07-07-19
By: Paul Tremblay
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Radicals
- By: Nik Korpon
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Isabel Keating
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Jay Brodsky is an enigma. To his fellow agents at the FBI’s cybercrimes division. To his new partner. Even to himself. For someone whose skills are beyond question, he often seems just on the edge of losing control. He seldom speaks about his family and his personal life, but he seems to be hiding something. And he has an unusual obsession with even the most obscure punk rock. So when a mysterious cyber-terrorist organization begins erasing Americans’ medical debt, Jay must put his personal issues aside to focus on an attack that threatens to destabilize the US economy.
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Punk rock, anarchy, hacking and an FBI investigat
- By col2910 on 11-24-20
By: Nik Korpon
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The least helpful review of Roadkill
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In the final days of World War II, the Allies ransacked Berlin. Third Reich scientists were highly sought-out prizes for Americans and Russians desperate to possess Nazi nuclear knowledge. But they failed to capture one of the most vital members of Adolf Hitler’s inner circle, Hans Kammler, a liaison with the Nazis’ silent partners whose technological wonders nearly helped the Axis win the war - the alien species the Germans called the Eidechse. More than seven decades later, US Navy SEAL Mark Hunter witnesses the impossible in North Korea....
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Excellent
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The year is 1876. Warring Indian tribes still populate America's western territories, even as lawless gold-rush towns begin to mark the landscape. In much of the country, it is still illegal to espouse evolution. Against this backdrop two monomaniacal paleontologists pillage the Wild West, hunting for dinosaur fossils while surveilling, deceiving, and sabotaging each other in a rivalry that will come to be known as the Bone Wars.
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Exceptional Surprise!
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A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson.
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I wish I could chain Drew to a desk and make him write for me 24/7... j/k... kind of...
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What listeners say about If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-20-22
Dafilthy
remember always check your meat and don't be an asshole it's says so everywhere people are try to not to be miserable.
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- Tim Woodbridge
- 10-29-22
a fan since JDATE
Always a perfect blend of cheesy (and legitimate actual scary) horror, teenage boy humor, and Mark Manson wisdom. Love Jason’s writing. I look forward to the next Zoey Ashe book.
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- Jessie Hawkins
- 11-07-22
another hit
If you've ever read anything by David Wong or Jason Pargin then you know the this is and you won't be disappointed. If you haven't, welcome to the club and enjoy
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- Anonymous User
- 11-26-22
my opinion
in my humble and inexperienced opinion in which I must reach 15 words, it's da filthy.
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- Kindle Customer
- 12-09-22
Read These Books
No matter the name on the book, they are hilarious. sarcastic and irreverent stories delivered by the perfect reader. I highly recommend all of Wong/Pargin books.
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- Cody
- 12-03-22
Pargin nails his universe once again
Jason has been one of my favorites for awhile and for anyone who enjoys this particular blend he’s been cultivating this will be another great experience!
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-26-23
4th book in a series
John dies at the end, is the first. Kinda like Dr Who met it’s always sunny in Philadelphia, F***ed, and this is the baby. Sci-fi comedy horror, with enough di*k jokes to make Neil Patrick Harris blush.
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- J.
- 01-12-23
Excellent!
Best book in the series! Could not stop listening to this one. Very well done!
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- Arley
- 12-21-22
Good book
Good very good very good book enjoys the book very good book very cool book da filthy book
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- Adam Rast
- 03-28-23
Perfectly surreal
I don't know what the heck was going on, but the meaning was pretty clear: don't join a cult.
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