• F*cking History

  • 111 Lessons You Should Have Learned in School
  • By: The Captain
  • Narrated by: The Captain
  • Length: 4 hrs and 7 mins
  • 3.8 out of 5 stars (349 ratings)

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F*cking History  By  cover art

F*cking History

By: The Captain
Narrated by: The Captain
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Publisher's summary

History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life.

Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born.

The entries in this compulsively listenable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great.

You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy - like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women - from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra.

People in the past were just like us - so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.

©2020 The Captain (P)2020 Penguin Audio

What listeners say about F*cking History

Average customer ratings
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Badass Brain Power!

Awesomeness!!!! To The Captain! En hora buena... congrats to you on this journey and thanks for sharing your badassery with the world - Gracias 💗

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The plan yet humorous terminology used in the narration.

I learned a lot, and it felt like I was learning from a friend because of the way it was written 

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Probably a better read

The stories are great, and the underlying message is something we should all get behind. However, it was delivered like a bad Best Mans speech, with (pause for laughter) written into the notes. I would purchase the hard copy though.

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Great stories

Loved it. Absolutely hilarious at times. I'm glad that I listened. I have already suggested it to others.

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Because History should be fun!

I thoroughly enjoyed the humor throughout while learning strange facts that I can now share at inappropriate moments with friends and family. Thanks Captain!

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    4 out of 5 stars
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A Little Trashy.. But Worth It

Short and quick historical stories.. Great for those who like to hear some interesting stuff.. on the way to work.. NOT FOR KIDS..

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As informational as it is entertaining

I'm going to recommend it to any and everyone. We should never stop learning and this was quite possibly one of the most pleasant learning experiences yet. Thank you!

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Motivational Badass

The Captain's spirited take on history creates a badass motivational book for our time. "Knowledge is the best form of mutiny."

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Oh Captain My Captain!!!

Like many of you, I came to know The Captain via social media, enjoying his witty, snarky and genuine humor delivering life lessons on ig. &I'm a better & stronger human for it! He brings that same inspiring humor into this book as well. Telling f*cking history you may or may not know and seamlessly weaving in some modern life lessons. He has a unique insight and the brilliant ability to deliver it well.

Now stop reading f*cking reviews and get the f*cking book!

You won't regret it!

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Who knew so many women in history were badass.

I must read (or listen to). So much history we were never taught in school. I’m also glad Kyle narrated his own book. He’s a great story teller and the history of these women is fascinating. I’ll be listening to it again and bringing my hardcopy on our camping trip to read to my friends around the fire.

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