Dyscalculia

A Love Story of Epic Miscalculation

By: Camonghne Felix

Narrated by: Camonghne Felix

Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins

Publisher's summary

“Powerful . . . a poetic meditation on how love or attempts at loving can drive us to madness.”—The Boston Globe

“We learn about the cracks in Felix’s upbringing, the hurt from the breakup itself, and a pain that spans a lifetime, all through a sharp millennial voice.”—Time

A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR: Time, Chicago Public Library, Electric Lit

When Camonghne Felix goes through a monumental breakup, culminating in a hospital stay, everything—from her early childhood trauma and mental health to her relationship with mathematics—shows up in the tapestry of her healing. In this exquisite and raw reflection, Felix repossesses herself through the exploration of history she’d left behind, using her childhood “dyscalculia”—a disorder that makes it difficult to learn math—as a metaphor for the consequences of her miscalculations in love. Through reckoning with this breakup and other adult gambles in intimacy, Felix asks the question: Who gets to assert their right to pain?

Dyscalculia negotiates the misalignments of perception and reality, love and harm, and the politics of heartbreak, both romantic and familial.

©2023 Camonghne Felix (P)2023 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“Powerful . . . a poetic meditation on how love or attempts at loving can drive us to madness— [Dyscalculia is] the perfect antidote to the pressure, societal or personal, to perform love or even lust . . . Felix’s voice is confident and uninhibited, so direct and full of candor . . . Felix captures the essence of emotional unraveling with raw, heartbreaking beauty . . . Dyscalculia describes emotional miscalculation with precision.”—Boston Globe

“Stunning . . . gorgeous.”—BookRiot, 10 Riveting New Nonfiction Books to Read in February 2023

“We learn about the cracks in Felix’s upbringing, the hurt from the breakup itself, and a pain that spans a lifetime, all through a sharp millennial voice.”—TIME, Here Are the 12 New Books You Should Read in February

Misconception, this was a bad chick

This story leaves you with real life situations through someone else's eyes. Wow, the thoughts and feelings that a person has when suffering with mental illness and how they have to go through life trying to figure it out especially at a young age where there is not a lot of help for children.

Masterpiece

Dyscalculia: A Love Story of Epic Miscalculation by Camonghe Felix is poignant. Her testimony gave me goosebumps. I feel hesitant to comment because Felix lets us readers know our judgment is for ourselves as she’s reconciled and sorted through the murkiness of her life. I am often amazed at how much weight people carry. It made me wonder about how many folks I know who walk around “passing for well” in moments when wellness feels like cuts against their skin.

Honestly, I had to check to see if I was reading a memoir or a well-written fictional account of a character’s life. I loved the poetry. I enjoyed the storytelling, and I got a kick out of needing to refer to a dictionary to understand words I hadn’t yet encountered. This love story felt like a beautiful collection of mathematical concepts as expressions to describe a journey of self-discovery.

I admire Felix and thank her for unmasking a world I find hard to comprehend but desperately want to empathize with in nurturing and supportive ways. Although I cannot relate to much of her experiences, I can see how disconcerting it was to live in an unknown place and try to function. I think about individuals I’ve known who might have faced similar disassociations with parts of themselves as a survival tactic. And who might have encountered life-threatening behaviors to cope?

I send them love.

Dyscalculia is something only God has had a hand in creating. I wish Felix nothing but joy. I definitely recommend you read it. Thank you, This Browne Girl Reads, for another excellent book recommendation.

Shonda Moore

Stunning

This book was stunning. It’s an honest exploration of trauma, a learning disability, and mental illness. Hard to read at times, but hopeful too
.

Mind blowing

Just ordered the hardcover because I need to see these sentences over and over. This is a master class in memoir writing and in living.

Brief, beautiful memoir from a brilliant poet

Camonghne is a writer’s writer, and her attention to breath, image, and the poetic line in this experiment is wonderful. Often heartbreaking, always striving to be as honest as the page allows, this is a memoir I’ll be thinking about for a while.

What a memoir!

I first became aware of Camonghne Felix while she was working on Elizabeth Warren’s presidential campaign. I followed her on twitter (still do 😉) and then read Build Yourself a Boat. It’s hard to put into words how stirring but accessible Dyscalculia truly is! For anyone who’s ever struggled & gotten a diagnosis later in life— this memoir will feel all too familiar. The validation/self actualization comes not just for Camonghne but, too, for all of us. Felix though, is a poet and masterful orator/storyteller so, she’s able to share her tale lyrically, with brutal, beautiful honestly— just as if it came up organically in casual after dinner conversation on a backyard patio. Only when it ends do you realize the time and, truly appreciate what a tour de force Dyscalculia really is. My only hope is for it to be a one woman, Broadway show next 🤞🏻

Great!

The book was awesome and left me wanting to know more about our main character’s story!

Not Really About Life and Love with Dyscalculia

I sincerely wanted to like this book, I really did. As someone who has suffered from Dyscalculia all of my life, I understand that the disorder is not a monolith, but I don't feel as though this story embodied the experience. I know it's meant to be a poetic memoir of sorts so I can't take anything away from the authors experiences, but I know very little people with this disorder (myself included) who use math or a lack of its understanding as metaphors for life. Most of us are just struggling with the basic concept of it, so why would we literally use it in a way that complicates our lives even further? If I'm having relationship issues with my partner or parenting issues with my child, I'm not going to use the Pythagorean Theorem for a life a reference. Once again, this is not being said as a way to discredit the authors life experiences, but it is to say that I found no commonality with it.

That said, the writing style is a bit of a put off. If you have read any of the books in the Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi, then you'll know what I mean. This book is either a sea of similes or a river of symbolism. Either way, the unprepared reader drowns in all of the seemingly baseless comparisons and untethered references. Now I say 'seemingly' because I, once again, do acknowledge that this is the author's personal rendering of events in her life, so I'm sure for her and those who know her, the comparisons that she alludes to make perfect sense. But, for someone who is unfamiliar with the author, the writing comes across as unnecessarily flowery, and steals away any perceived meaning or understanding for what is being conveyed.

All in all, I had hoped for a relatable representation in this title that I just did not get. I feel as though if someone was reaching for this book in an attempt to understand a loved one or colleague with Dyscalculia, they would end up even more confused than when they'd started.