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You Are All Diseased
- Length: 1 hr and 1 min
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Performed by George Carlin himself, and filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny.
New! Don't miss our AudibleComedy combo, featuring original humor from standups Greg Proops and Steve Marmel.
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Editorial reviews
You Are All Diseased by the Grammy Award-winning American standup comic George Carlin was recorded for HBO on February 6, 1999, but the material remains fresh and funny today. His textured voice and top-notch delivery create an unbeatable listening experience as he covers topics such as airport security, terrorism and religion. The audiobook includes: "Fear of Germs", "Cigars", "Angels", "Harley Davidson", "House of Blues", "Minority Language: A-Happens to Be; B-Openly; C-Urban; D-Girlfriend", "Man Stuff", "Kids and Parents", "TV Tonight", "Names", "Advertising Lullaby", "American Bullshit", "Businessmen", "Religion", and "There Is No God".
Publisher's summary
Tracks:
1. How's Everybody Doin'
2. Airport Security
3. Fear of Germs
4. Cigars
5. Angels
6. Harley Davidson
7. House Of Blues
8. Minority Language: A-Happens to Be; B-Openly; C-Urban; D-Girlfriend
9. Man Stuff
10. Kids and Parents
11. TV Tonight
12. Names
13. Advertising Lullaby
14. American Bullshit
15. Businessmen
16. Religion
17. There Is No God
Explicit Language Warning: You must be 18 years or older to purchase this program.
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Story
If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
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Like a Cast of Thousands
- By Rick on 07-16-12
By: George Carlin
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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.
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I nice pragmatic view of life.
- By Aaron on 10-19-04
By: George Carlin
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Life Is Worth Losing
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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George Carlin's 18th album. It was recorded simultaneously with the live broadcast of his 13th HBO special.
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classic
- By Brad on 02-13-09
By: George Carlin
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Complaints & Grievances
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 54 mins
- Original Recording
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If you missed the HBO special, it's all here and it's all hysterical. George goes off on every subject under the sun and a few other planets too. Be the first one on your cell block to buy this great performance.
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Funny
- By M on 02-21-17
By: George Carlin
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Parental Advisory
- Explicit Lyrics
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Okay, you might want to remove children under the age of nine from the room before listening to this brilliant album. When they turn 10, you might want to reconsider. Kids are going to learn this language sooner or later, so why not from George? It's Carlin's 12th comedy album, and most of it comes from his seventh HBO special Doin' It Again.
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George Carlin- The Greatest Observer of Mankind.
- By BusDriverNYC on 03-23-19
By: George Carlin
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Last Words
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: Tony Hendra, Patrick Carlin
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Abridged
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As one of America's preeminent comedic voices, George Carlin saw it all throughout his extraordinary 50-year career and made fun of most of it. Last Words is the story of the man behind some of the most seminal comedy of the last half century, blending his signature acer-bic humor with never-before-told stories from his own life.
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Outstanding insight... Well read
- By Joe Crescenzi on 01-10-12
By: George Carlin
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George Carlin Reads to You
- An Audio Collection Including Grammy Winners 'Braindroppings' and 'Napalm & Silly Putty'
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
-
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Like a Cast of Thousands
- By Rick on 07-16-12
By: George Carlin
-
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.
-
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I nice pragmatic view of life.
- By Aaron on 10-19-04
By: George Carlin
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Life Is Worth Losing
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
George Carlin's 18th album. It was recorded simultaneously with the live broadcast of his 13th HBO special.
-
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classic
- By Brad on 02-13-09
By: George Carlin
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Complaints & Grievances
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 54 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
If you missed the HBO special, it's all here and it's all hysterical. George goes off on every subject under the sun and a few other planets too. Be the first one on your cell block to buy this great performance.
-
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Funny
- By M on 02-21-17
By: George Carlin
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Parental Advisory
- Explicit Lyrics
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Okay, you might want to remove children under the age of nine from the room before listening to this brilliant album. When they turn 10, you might want to reconsider. Kids are going to learn this language sooner or later, so why not from George? It's Carlin's 12th comedy album, and most of it comes from his seventh HBO special Doin' It Again.
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George Carlin- The Greatest Observer of Mankind.
- By BusDriverNYC on 03-23-19
By: George Carlin
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Classic Gold
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 2 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
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This set contains three of George Carlin's classic albums from the 1970s in their entirety: FM & AM, Class Clown, and Occupation Foole.
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Don't listen and drive
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-12
By: George Carlin
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Napalm & Silly Putty
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
- Length: 2 hrs and 28 mins
- Abridged
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Yes, George Carlin is here with more of what he did better than any other comic: uproarious observations, laser-targeted crankiness, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness. ("If the shoe fits, get another just like it." "When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.") Napalm & Silly Putty is just what his fans have been waiting for—another generous helping of notions, nonsense, assertions, assumptions, mockery, merriment, silliness, sarcasm, and, to be sure, plenty of disturbing references and toxic alienation.
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Good, but not like the stand-up
- By Anonymous User on 10-10-21
By: George Carlin
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Class Clown
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 48 mins
- Original Recording
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Comedian George Carlin's definitive monologue was delivered on this 1972 album, his third, in the form of Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Television. The FCC and Supreme Court held the routine as the epitome of tastelessness, threatening to yank the license of any station that dare play it over public airwaves. So you know it has to be funny. Buy it today and shock your parents!
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Top 5 comedy album of all time
- By Kent on 06-24-08
By: George Carlin
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A Place for My Stuff!
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 51 mins
- Original Recording
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Classic Carlin all the way. His eighth comedy album after a five year break. Unlike earlier releases, A Place For My Stuff contains a number of studio tracks in addition to live performances, and he pokes fun at the format and candor of community radio, commercials, and television with aplomb.
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Comdedy Classic
- By Jill on 06-27-08
By: George Carlin
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Brain Droppings
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
- Length: 2 hrs and 27 mins
- Abridged
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Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
Performed by George Carlin himself, and filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny.
New! Don't miss our AudibleComedy combo, featuring original humor from standups Greg Proops and Steve Marmel.
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If you like the Carlin of late...
- By Rod A. on 12-12-11
By: George Carlin
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Seven Dirty Words
- The Life and Crimes of George Carlin
- By: James Sullivan
- Narrated by: Alan Sklar
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In Seven Dirty Words, journalist and cultural critic James Sullivan tells the story of Alternative America from the 1950s to the present, from the singular vantage point of George Carlin, the Catholic boy for whom nothing was sacred.
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Carlin's CV with no Depth or Insight
- By Dubi on 01-23-14
By: James Sullivan
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Carlin on Campus
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 47 mins
- Original Recording
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This fourth HBO special by George Carlin was recorded on April 18 and 19, 1984 and features mostly new material. The opening features Carlin in Catholic school with a short version of "Class Clown" and animation shorts. The ending features Carlin playing piano to an original song called "Armadillo Blues".
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A legend
- By Jewels88 on 03-26-21
By: George Carlin
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Jammin' in New York
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 56 mins
- Original Recording
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George Carlin's eighth HBO special, taped on April 24 and 25, 1992, at the Paramount Theater, on the grounds of Madison Square Garden in New York City. Topics include the recently ended Persian Gulf War, similarities and differences among average Americans, language used at airports and more.
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Nothing new here.
- By J. Miller on 03-06-13
By: George Carlin
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Back in Town
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 1 hr and 1 min
- Original Recording
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George Carlin's ninth HBO special, it was recorded in 1996 at the Beacon Theater in New York City, his first of many performances there. Carlin said it featured the best writing and performing he'd done in 36 years.
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George Carlin is Irreplaceable!
- By Tracy P. on 07-24-18
By: George Carlin
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Still Foolin' 'Em
- Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys
- By: Billy Crystal
- Narrated by: Billy Crystal
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Billy Crystal is 65, and he's not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt. In humorous chapters like "Buying the Plot" and "Nodding Off," Crystal not only catalogues his physical gripes, but offers a road map to his 77 million fellow baby boomers who are arriving at this milestone age with him. He also looks back at the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life.
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Disarmingly Honest
- By David Shear on 09-12-13
By: Billy Crystal
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More Napalm and Silly Putty
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
- Length: 2 hrs and 28 mins
- Abridged
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A companion to the best selling Napalm and Silly Putty, George Carlin's More Napalm and Silly Putty picks up where the original left off, with more laser-sharp observations, tough questions, philosophical musings, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness in these unabridged excerpts from the thinking man's comic - and three-time Grammy winner!
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Entry-Level Carlin
- By Charles Elmore on 12-23-03
By: George Carlin
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Occupation
- Foole
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 47 mins
- Original Recording
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What clever insights about growing up on the Upper West Side of New York City in the 1950s! Everything from gang culture to school life! This is George Carlin's fourth album. It was recorded on March 2 and 3, 1973, at the Circle Star Theater in San Carlos, California.
By: George Carlin
What listeners say about You Are All Diseased
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- RIP IT UP!
- 11-10-17
another classic Carlin
will never cease to amaze and get you questioning everything. we miss you George. thank you
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- Ramon
- 09-17-23
Disappointing
I expected a more witty performance it was overall just too angry for my humor
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- Anonymous User
- 05-08-21
This Taping Is Amazing
Great recording, and you’ll be sure to remember it. But this is all on YouTube. Look it up.
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- Carol Martorelli
- 01-16-18
Disappointed
Always loved George but not this time. Usually funny because it's relatable but this was nothing more than vulgar anger.
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