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President Me
- The America That's in My Head
- Narrated by: Adam Carolla
- Length: 6 hrs
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President Me
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Publisher's summary
Imagine a world where New York Times best-selling author, comedian, actor, television, and podcast host Adam Carolla is the President of the United States. Can’t do it? You don’t have to! Adam has done it for you!
Podcast king Adam Carolla first shared his unique, but always funny world view in his New York Times best seller, In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks - but he’s not done.
In President Me, Carolla shares his vision for a different, better America free from big issues like big government down to small problems like hotel alarm clock placement. Running on an anti-narcissism platform, President Carolla calls for a return to the values of an earlier time when stew and casserole were on every dinner table and there were no “service dogs” on airplanes. President Me hits right at the heart of what makes our country really annoying, and offers a plan to make all of our lives, but mostly Adam’s, much better.
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 361
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 356
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 364
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 324
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Story4 out of 5 stars 321
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
-
Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,981
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,656
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,649
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
-
The Death of Cool
- From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
- By: Gavin McInnes
- Narrated by: Gavin McInnes
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,189
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,050
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 1,050
This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
-
Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,934
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,452
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,402
Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
-
Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 357
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 321
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 318
The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
-
The Kings of Cool
- A Prequel to 'Savages'
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 797
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 712
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 716
In Savages, Don Winslow introduced Ben and Chon, twentysomething best friends who risk everything to save the girl they both love, O. Now, in his high-octane prequel, Winslow reaches back in time to tell the story of how Ben, Chon, and O became the people they are. Spanning from 1960s Southern California to the recent past, it is a tale of family in all its forms. As the younger generation does battle with drug dealers and crooked cops, they learn that their future is inextricably linked with their parents' history.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The truth always come home...
- By Darwin8u on 09-28-17
By: Don Winslow
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Lawn Boy
- By: Jonathan Evison
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 285
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 254
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 254
For Mike Muñoz, a young Chicano living in Washington State, life has been a whole lot of waiting for something to happen. Not too many years out of high school and still doing menial work - and just fired from his latest gig as a lawn boy on a landscaping crew - he knows that he's got to be the one to shake things up if he's ever going to change his life. But how?
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2 out of 5 stars
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CATEGORY AND SUMMARY MISLEADING
- By Gretchen on 05-01-18
By: Jonathan Evison
-
I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 464
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 405
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 403
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
-
I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 410
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 367
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 363
New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
-
The Upside
- A Memoir
- By: Abdel Sellou
- Narrated by: Ray Chase
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 45
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
In 1992, Count Phillippe Pozzo di Borgo, on the heels of his wife's diagnosis with a terminal illness, suffered a paragliding accident that left him a quadriplegic. Forty-two years old, trapped inside his luxurious Paris town house, he was an outcast for the first time in his life. Abdel, an unemployed Algerian immigrant who had been an outcast for his entire existence, would become Phillipe's unlikely caretaker. Quick-thinking, unsentimental, and more than a little wild, Abdel surprises both himself and his employer.
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5 out of 5 stars
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loved it
- By RockyDog on 01-31-19
By: Abdel Sellou
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Be a Man
- The Ultimate Guide
- By: The Be a Man Guy
- Narrated by: The Be a Man Guy, John Fiore
- Length: 3 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 51
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 46
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 46
On Tik Tok, Instagram, and his podcast, The Be a Man Guy discusses what it takes to be a man. Now, this funny and insightful book showcases all new stories, vignettes, anecdotes, and pearls of wisdom.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I didn't find much lasting value.
- By I Ate Your Pug For Lunch and It was Tasty on 07-07-23
By: The Be a Man Guy
-
Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,040
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 953
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 949
From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
-
The Winter of Frankie Machine
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Dennis Boutsikaris
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,060
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,675
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,671
Frank Machianno is a late-middle-aged ex-surf bum who runs a bait shack on the San Diego waterfront. An affable Italian with a love of people and life, he's a stand-up businessman, devoted father, and a beloved fixture in the community. He's also a hit man - specifically, a retired hit man. Back in the day when he was one of the most feared members of the West Coast Mafia, he was known as Frankie Machine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Five stars straight across the board
- By Eric Taylor on 06-28-12
By: Don Winslow
-
Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 128
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 116
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 116
Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
-
Please Ignore Vera Dietz
- By: A. S. King
- Narrated by: Lynde Houck
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 107
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 91
Vera’s spent her whole life secretly in love with her best friend, Charlie Kahn. And over the years she’s kept a lot of his secrets. Even after he betrayed her. Even after he ruined everything. So when Charlie dies in dark circumstances, Vera knows a lot more than anyone - the kids at school, his family, even the police. But will she emerge to clear his name? Does she even want to? Edgy and gripping, Please Ignore Vera Dietz is an unforgettable novel: Smart, funny, dramatic, and always surprising.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Moving, disturbing, and humorous
- By Julie on 08-26-11
By: A. S. King
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Ever wonder what you would say or do if you didn’t give a f--k? Adam Carolla can tell you. In his sixth book, the comedian, podcaster, and provocateur does what he does best—doles out advice and opinions with utter disregard for our politically correct, self-righteous, virtue signaling, woke times.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I tried.
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In I’m Your Emotional Support Animal, Adam Carolla examines how our culture went careening off a cliff. We used to have one that created real warriors who fought world wars. Now it spawns social justice warriors who fight Twitter wars. He takes on those who are traumatized by Trump and “emotional support animal” owners who proclaim their victimhood at every airport. He stands up for the collateral damage of the #MeToo movement and for freedom of speech on “safe space” filled college campuses.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A little more crass than I was expecting
- By Brian Sachetta on 08-12-20
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Not Taco Bell Material
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- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,192
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Funnyman Adam Carolla is known for two things: hilarious rants about things that drive him crazy and personal stories about everything from his hardscrabble childhood to his slacker friends to the hypocrisy of Hollywood. He tackled rants in his first book, and now he tells his best stories and debuts some never-before-heard tales as well. Adam Carolla started broke and blue collar and has now been on the Hollywood scene for over 15 years. Yet he never lost his underdog demeanor.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Must have for any Adam Carolla Fan!
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Adam rips parenthood a new one, telling it straight about what adults must do if they don't want to have to support their kids forever. Using his own crappy childhood as a cautionary tale, and touting the pitfalls of the kind of helicopter parenting so pervasive today, Daddy, Stop Talking is the only parenting book you should ever read.
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More than just hilarious
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Adam Carolla’s signature “rage” bits have become an integral part of his act, most recently as a recurring segment (“This Week in Rage”) on CBS Radio’s morning talk program The Adam Carolla Show. He is known as the co-host of the radio television show Loveline, co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central’s The Man Show, co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV’s Crank Yankers and former contestant on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars.
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2 out of 5 stars
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NOT A BOOK
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3 out of 5 stars
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NOT A BOOK
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What listeners say about President Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- MichaelQuaMan
- 03-05-15
Funny and Insightful
Only if it were true, could it be better. Adam would make a great president. Read it before it is banned and/or burned.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Michael Plant
- 07-02-15
Adam Carolla makes some great points
I've been listening to Adam Carolla for several years and this book is a pretty good summary of the points he's been making for years. You don't have to agree with everything he says to enjoy this audio book. It's a clever format for his common sense rants on the major issues facing our society.
It's a shame he couldn't get elected on a platform of telling it like it is - it's a testament to how broken our political system is. What gives him credibility is that most (if not all) of his success has come from him busting his butt to make things happen. Unlike what seems to be a frighteningly large percentage of our our society, he expects and is willing to work hard for what he gets.
Regardless your political affiliation, this is a funny look at many of the tough problems we face and a dose clever and humorous (if not overly practical) solutions we could apply.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Adam Stewart
- 11-24-16
Classic Adam
All the rants you love and more. Some are more prophetic than others. I enjoyed it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- WhoDo
- 06-26-20
Exactly
When you are right you are right. If the world made sense Adam would be president.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- bytorbytheshore
- 11-17-22
Funny & Heady Reveal of Lack of Quality Leadership
Adam’s sharp & heady parsing of today’s political arena would absolutely apply to the state of healthcare. I’ve got 46 yrs of being a patient and am in my 50’s. This format would make an even greater book. Call it “Doctor Me”. Contact me somehow if you’d like & we could hit one out of the park! Everyone is ultimately going to ride on the healthcare train. (Coming train wreck that is)…
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Robert
- 08-13-14
Started off a bit slow but picked up
When he got to the UN part it was laugh out loud funny. That alone was probably worth the purchase.
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- r14578923
- 05-14-14
Awesome audio book
If you could sum up President Me in three words, what would they be?
Funny, interesting, observational.
What was one of the most memorable moments of President Me?
Service pelican.
What about Adam Carolla’s performance did you like?
Adam does not just read the book. The audio book has some extra material.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Yes
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Fuzzy Dunlop
- 03-11-15
Adam is Adam
I've been a Corolla fan for a long time but I must say that after many years of listening to him it does growth lately all the time. Well he does have fresh take in this book there are also many of the same opinions that you've heard before on his podcast. Corolla I would still recommend this but for the casual audiobook listener who's looking for something new I would recommend his first or second book before this one.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- John A. Ferrante II
- 04-02-15
Another Funny Book from the Ace Man!
I enjoyed listening to President Me. There were several laugh out loud moments and lots of funny ideas to contemplate about how we can improve this country. Very well produced by Mike Dawson and well spoken by Adam Carolla himself. If you enjoyed Adam's first two books you'll love this one too!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Art
- 09-03-15
one of the best audio books in my library
this is one of those that the audio book is far better then the actual book..
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