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Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip - Confessions of a Cynical Waiter | [The Waiter]

Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip - Confessions of a Cynical Waiter

According to The Waiter, 80 percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining 20 percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths.

Waiter Rant offers the server's unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places.

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Publisher's Summary

According to The Waiter, 80 percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining 20 percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths.

Waiter Rant offers the server's unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places.

Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age 38, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he's really thrived.

(P)2008 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"The other shoe finally drops. The front-of-the-house version of Kitchen Confidential; a painfully funny, excruciatingly true-life account of the waiter's life. As useful as it is entertaining." (Anthony Bourdain)
"I really enjoyed Waiter Rant. The book is engaging and funny, a story told from my polar opposite perspective." (John DeLucie, chef of The Waverly Inn)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.7 (606 )
5 star
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3.8 (219 )
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Story
3.9 (218 )
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Manmit Abu DhabiUnited Arab Emirates 11-15-09
    Manmit Abu DhabiUnited Arab Emirates 11-15-09
    HELPFUL VOTES
    10
    ratings
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    3
    1
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    Overall
    "Read the blog first"

    If you're looking for funny customer stories or gory details of what actually happens in a kitchen, you might be disappointed.

    Although it does feature a few stories, the book is mainly about the waiter psycho-analysing himself and everyone around him. The narrator does a good job narrating what can be a somewhat boring (at times) autobiography. But if you dive into this knowing what to expect, it could be a very enjoyable 9 hrs.

    Good, but could be better.

    10 of 10 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jennifer Santa Barbara, CA, USA 04-29-09
    Jennifer Santa Barbara, CA, USA 04-29-09 Member Since 2002
    HELPFUL VOTES
    12
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    3
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    "Needs an editor"

    Either wait for the abridged version or skim the blog. The stories of annoying customers and other hassles of the restaurant business are amusing, but you have to wade through too much painfully bad dreck to reach them. Rather than focusing on what he's good at - recounting everyday incidents in the life of a waiter - the author spends most of the book trying to convince us/himself that he is now a Writer. So besides the fascinating details of his childhood library visits and the pain of a critical writing review in college, we get the flowery descriptions of sunsets, painfully artificial expository dialogues, and essays on his views on illegal immigration, the homeless, and what it feels like to be discovering his 'gift' for writing. Skip it.

    9 of 9 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Eric Bridgewater, MA, United States 08-04-08
    Eric Bridgewater, MA, United States 08-04-08 Member Since 2006
    HELPFUL VOTES
    19
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    "Could not turn it Off!"

    I am a big fan of kitchen confidential and when I saw this book hit the site I purchased it without thinking twice. An excellent listen from start to finish. The author sheds light on the other side of restaurants the front end. In this book the so called face of a restaurant is shown in many lights. The book has grit and glamour and shows you the many joys and evils of working in a high class eatery.

    An excellent read/listen for anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant in any capacity or for anyone who is simply interested in seeing a vivid behind the scenes look into this fascinating world.


    19 of 20 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Samuel Proulx Toronto, On Ca 09-15-08
    Samuel Proulx Toronto, On Ca 09-15-08 Member Since 2008

    Electric Geek

    HELPFUL VOTES
    12
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    7
    2
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    "Starts Off Fast, Ends Slow"

    This book starts off as the laugh out loud adventures of super waiter, focused on funny customer stories, and waiting misadventures. However, at about the half-way point, it begins to devolve into the psychology profile of a loser middle aged waiter and his struggles with aging. If I wanted a nonfiction psych biography of someone I'd never heard of, I'd go read livejournal. I wish the second half of the book could have been as good as the first half; the first half is worth the read, but the second half isn't.

    11 of 12 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amber Fort Collins, CO, United States 12-19-10
    Amber Fort Collins, CO, United States 12-19-10 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    201
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    98
    53
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    6
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    "Written by a blogger"

    This book isn't terrible and it's easy to listen to while doing other things - you don't need to worry about missing any of the plot! The author seems to think very highly of himself, and it's apparent throughout the book, which does get a bit irritating. Overall it's an easy listen, and a bit of an insight into the world of America's hospitality industry.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Eileen USA 11-21-08
    Eileen USA 11-21-08 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    91
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    38
    19
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    "Stories to remember while you're dining out"

    The Waiter was an interesting listen when you're hearing the stories of annoying customers, awful management, and kooky coworkers. The narrator of this book does a good job bringing personality to "the waiter" and also paints a convincing narrative of the customers he encounters. Where the book loses a few stars is the overly stylized dialogue that you'll hear when you're listening to the water recount conversations with his co-worker Beth - it sounds more like a Dawson's Creek script then how real friends would converse. I also could have skipped the waiter's psychoanalysis of customers and co-workers - he seems to think his background in psychology allows him to analyze the behaviors of others. But overall it's a good listen - it is fast paced, funny and leaves you with tips and stories you'll remember and consider the next time you're eating out!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Simone St Laurent, Quebec, Canada 07-30-12
    Simone St Laurent, Quebec, Canada 07-30-12 Member Since 2006

    Join me on GoodReads too!

    HELPFUL VOTES
    327
    ratings
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    274
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    "GOOD INSIDER INFO"

    I liked it, but am disappointed because I thought it would be funny and it wasn???t ??? sure it was entertaining, but no LOL moments for me. I think if you???ve worked in the restaurant business, you???d appreciate it much more because it???s full of ???insider??? ???nod-your-head-in-agreement??? information. I???d recommend it to anyone in ???the bizz???.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    glamazon The Coast of Rhode Island 04-18-11
    glamazon The Coast of Rhode Island 04-18-11 Member Since 2003

    glam

    HELPFUL VOTES
    4311
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    Overall
    "Good insights, clever delivery."

    I like books like this - zeroed in on a subject, not trying to contain the whole "sturm und drang" of a life in a few hundred pages. However, the story did rather deflate in the middle, as though the writer/waiter was flummoxed after the initial setup in a "what do I do now?" sort of way.

    I love the book name and writer's name, though I could have done without his frequent identification of women by their hair color - eg a "brunette" or a "redhead". I thought this kind of parlance had disappeared by now, and it seemed too retro and sexist when compared to the contemporary feeling of the story.

    Still a good read, though!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Nikolaj Holbaek, Denmark 05-24-09
    Nikolaj Holbaek, Denmark 05-24-09 Member Since 2007

    Appreciate Audibles many different books and l like to try new things out. Love a good story - in real life or in books. Live in Denmark, Europe.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "A surprising and interesting listen"

    Coming from Denmark, Scandinavia, Europe I find the book informative, entertaining and well told. American culture seen from a certain personal and funny viewpoint. Lots of insights worth knowing before visiting the US.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ron Sydney, Australia 05-21-09
    Ron Sydney, Australia 05-21-09 Member Since 2008

    Literary graduate and published columnist turned glorified grease monkey.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    135
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    "I wish it was longer!!"

    This is a fantastic book! It is not a 9 hour whining session like some people may lead you to believe. It is thoroughly entertaining. The waiter is actually a brilliant writer. The only section I had trouble with was towards the end where he states that all waiters do is complain, which some people may think is a bit hypocritical. But I don't think of this book as a rant. I think of it more as a report of what goes on in the food industry. There is a tonne of invaluable behind-the-scenes stories that we really need to know. I don't think I'll treat wait staff any differently after reading it, maybe just tip more. But it is brilliantly written, very funny in most of the book, and the narrator has the perfect voice for this story, very well executed. This is a must read for any food show fans, especially fans of Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares.
    I would listen to it all day if there was more of the same.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
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