Waiter Rant

Thanks for the Tip - Confessions of a Cynical Waiter

By: Steve Dublanica

Narrated by: Dan John Miller

Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins

Publisher's summary

According to The Waiter, 80 percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining 20 percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths.

Waiter Rant offers the server's unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places.

Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age 38, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he's really thrived.

Public Domain (P)2008 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

Critic reviews

"The other shoe finally drops. The front-of-the-house version of Kitchen Confidential; a painfully funny, excruciatingly true-life account of the waiter's life. As useful as it is entertaining." (Anthony Bourdain)
"I really enjoyed Waiter Rant. The book is engaging and funny, a story told from my polar opposite perspective." (John DeLucie, chef of The Waverly Inn)

Simply loved it

The book admirably narrated by Dan John Miller who brings it to life in all it's splendour. So much more than just a collection of waiter's anecdotes, it leads you into the intricacies of the food serving world, the delicate balance, power struggles and all aspects of the restaurant business.

" You're ready to do something when you're ready to do it. "

Most of the book takes place at a New York City restaurant named "The Bistro" (pretty generic, no?). The waiter gives us a composite picture of his life as the waiter by observing the mesh of interactions between the management, fellow workers, and customers. The good, the bad and the more than often ugly.

I enjoyed the psychological angle. I love the way the Waiter analyses his doings and feelings, manages his relationships with others, and draws a philosophical portrait of the waiter's trade. Most of which can be applied to other trades and people. I love how he balances his criticism with empathy for all and how he shares the truth about sanitation, poverty, relationships, self-confidence and bad customers. It's a tale of a man who chose an occupation out of despair and became excellent at it while preserving hope for the future by tuning out his passion.

" Cocooned inside our private dramas we often don't realize life is rolling by us like it should "

I read that a number of the weblog readers were disappointed by the book. I can't speak for them, but I've added the weblog to my blogroll since.

He's a waiter. He's really a writer. Refreshing. An engaging read (or listen).

Very informative

A MUST read for anyone who dines out.
I love these stories, and respect my servers more having read this.
The recording is over modulated, but not unlistenable.

Amazingly written

I have read this book now 5 times. I found it while deployed in Afghanistan and the book helped me through some very difficult times there. It is a very good read and I highly recommend the book and writer.

Be a cocky server vicariously and have fun

As many others mentioned, the author seems to have a big ego and his cocky tone can be grating at times. But that character trait and his quck-temper are the very elements that lead to inevitable friction which makes for intriguing stories. If he were a modest, always even-tempered waiter, this book would've been as bland as a weak cup of coffee. He's not and thanks to that, this read / listen is quite a scrumptious concoction. Nothing insipid or stale about it for sure.

Stories to remember while you're dining out

The Waiter was an interesting listen when you're hearing the stories of annoying customers, awful management, and kooky coworkers. The narrator of this book does a good job bringing personality to "the waiter" and also paints a convincing narrative of the customers he encounters. Where the book loses a few stars is the overly stylized dialogue that you'll hear when you're listening to the water recount conversations with his co-worker Beth - it sounds more like a Dawson's Creek script then how real friends would converse. I also could have skipped the waiter's psychoanalysis of customers and co-workers - he seems to think his background in psychology allows him to analyze the behaviors of others. But overall it's a good listen - it is fast paced, funny and leaves you with tips and stories you'll remember and consider the next time you're eating out!

Good but one-sided

I liked this and it certainly gives some real insight into the restaurant world (ugly insight most of the time!) It also justifiably highlights the pretentiousness of people, their demands, rudeness, etc. It even gives 40 ways to be a good customer. But it noticeably includes very little about waitstaff conduct, and therefore, 40 ways to be a good waiter. I'm not one of the jerks (20% is my standard tip) but I've had plenty of pretentious, uninterested, inflexible servers. And yes, the few that have been really bad, I've stiffed them --sorry but that's how it goes! Also, there are a lot of other jobs (in a commercial laundry as a teenager was a great one) that are just as tiring, and filled with rotten management. So my sympathy runs thin at times. Aside from those aspects, it was entertaining. Just wish he'd been a bit more balanced.

If you've ever waited tables.....

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would recommend this book for those that aren't looking for any earth shattering revelations about the food industry. It was entertaining and reminded me that I quit waiting on tables for a reason. Even though I look back on those times as key to shaping my work ethics and developing skills that have helped me deal with difficult personalities.

Want to B a waiter?

I liked the honesty in this ebook. I love restaurants and always try to be polite and give a good tip. Once someone has worked for tips they will always be generous to others.
This book interested me because I have friends in the food industry. It is Avery demanding and time consuming career. Pay is not so great so better be a calling or desperation.
I enjoyed this narration and story.

Written by a blogger

This book isn't terrible and it's easy to listen to while doing other things - you don't need to worry about missing any of the plot! The author seems to think very highly of himself, and it's apparent throughout the book, which does get a bit irritating. Overall it's an easy listen, and a bit of an insight into the world of America's hospitality industry.

Long on the Lectures - we get it already!

How could the performance have been better?

I think that if the author read this book himself he would have put in more energy into the performance. This reader sounds like he is reading the back of a penut bag at the end of a long red-eye flight to Newark.

Any additional comments?

I listened to this book as a result of listening to "Heads in Beds". I enjoyed that book so much that I wanted to see what else, like this book, was out there. While both are about the lives of men in the service industry they couldn't be more different. I wanted to like this book more but it didn't work for me on a number of different levels.

First there was the tone. This author is a bit of a know it all and spends a lot of time lecturing and explaining everything from waiting tables to the meaning of life. He even explains his own cliché analogies. Exaggeration? Perhaps, but this book is the result of a blog - 'nuff said.

Second was the plot. I know that there may be no plot in these types of stories but for me a good memoire has some character arc that shows the character moving from one point to another. Heads in Beds does this well. The character starts naïve and good and eventually is corrupted by the hotel industry until ultimately it climaxes in a way that leads to change and rebirth. This story is woven behind the vignettes and is subtle and clever. This book just reads like the author’s personal journal. There is no real arc because the author already starts perfect (see my first point).

Third was the lack of entertainment and educational value. If there is no plot then I want at least some of this. I didn’t learn ANYTHING new about the restaurant industry - hard to believe about a so called rant. People have sex in the bathroom and illegal aliens work in the kitchen. Wow. I probably could have figured that out without having to work in the restaurant biz.

OK so I have been pretty tough of this guy. Is this book really that bad? No. It is entertaining enough to listen to as you mow your lawn or wash the dishes or snake the drain or whatever other task would be hell without some droning on about something in your head. I put this on the level of reality TV. This is “reality fiction” and just like its counterpart on TV it is not worth much but can be entertaining if you're only half engaged.

(Now watch this guy go out and become the next genre fiction mega author celeb)