Leaving the Saints

How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith

By: Martha Beck

Narrated by: Bernadette Dunne

Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins

Publisher's summary

Leaving the Saints is an unforgettable memoir about one woman's spiritual quest and journey toward faith. As "Mormon royalty" within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Martha Beck was raised in a home frequented by the Church's high elders, - known as the apostles - and her existence was framed by their strict code of conduct. Wearing her sacred garments, she married in a secret temple ceremony - but only after two Mormon leaders ascertained that her "past contained no flirtation with serious sins, such as committing murder or drinking coffee". She went to church faithfully with the other brothers and sisters of her ward. When her son was born with Down syndrome, she and her husband left their graduate programs at Harvard to return to Provo, Utah, where they knew the supportive Mormon community would embrace them.

However, soon after Martha began teaching at Brigham Young University, she began to see firsthand the Church's ruthlessness as it silenced dissidents and masked truths that contradicted its published beliefs. Most troubling of all, she was forced to face her history of sexual abuse by one of the Church's most prominent authorities. This book chronicles her difficult decision to sever her relationship with the faith that had cradled her for so long and to confront and forgive the person who betrayed her so deeply.

This beautifully written, inspiring memoir explores the powerful yearning toward faith. It offers a rare glimpse inside one of the world's most secretive religions while telling a profoundly moving story of personal courage, survival, and the transformative power of spirituality.

©2005 Martha Beck (P)2005 Books on Tape, Inc.

Critic reviews

"The book is full of Beck's laugh-out-loud hyperbolic wit and exquisitely written insights." (Publishers Weekly)

“Martha Beck’s riveting memoir teaches us more about love, spirituality, trauma, truth telling, and hope than all the self-help books combined. It is one of the bravest, most achingly honest books I’ve read in years. Leaving the Saints is a priceless gift.” (Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger)

“A courageous, touching, and beautifully written spiritual journey of the heart. I applaud Martha’s candidness and perseverance in her steadfast pursuit of the power of love.” (Judith Orloff, M.D., author of Positive Energy and Dr. Judith Orloff’s Guide to Intuitive Healing)

Decide for yourself

I found this to be a riveting story and as a third generation Utah Mormon I found her depiction of Mormon culture to be right on. I was raised in Utah, graduated from BYU and served a mission for the LDS Church, and in my opinion, Martha Beck is just telling it like it is. Anyone wanting a glimpse inside the faith will find her account interesting and perhaps disturbing, but just because you don't like the message why shoot the messenger? I found her personal revelations believable and backed up with strong physical evidence despite family denials. I think people should listen to her well written story and decide for themselves.

Why the split in ratings?

I found the book enlightening and a little scary. Riveting story, effective and engaging narration. In short, exactly what I seek in a recorded book.

I'm also not a Mormon. As a reader/listener of this book without an ax to grind, I wonder about the negative reviews I saw here. Was there a separate agenda? Hard to say, but worth consideration.

Order the book and decide for yourself.

Fascinating

This is one of my favorite topics and only one of many books I've read. I admire this author and her dealing with some difficult personal and spiritual dilemnas.

Amen!

I thought this book was fantastic. Brilliantly written and expertly read I found it hard to put it aside. As a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who has begun to seriously question the authenticity of the organization, I found several parallels between my experiences and those of Mrs. Beck. Like the author, my doubts began when I experienced the endowment and marriage rituals in the temple. Also, as time went on I began to realize that the church was organized and run more like a giant corporation whose purpose was to create and sustain a false image rather than a self-sustaining religious organization based on truth. It can be argued that the LDS church was founded with lies and is sustained by lies, hence the great ongoing efforts required by its leaders to sustain it's momentum. This message comes across clearly in this book.

If you are considering becoming a member of the LDS church or if you are currently a member who wants to experience a non-church endorsed viewpoint I highly recommend this book. Also, I would recommend "No Man Knows my History" by Fawn S. Brodie.

Excellent book!

I loved this book so MUCH!! it is very well written and pulls you through her life as if you are watching a movie.

Martha Beck is a treasure

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Because it deals with faith transitions and truths within the LDS faith

What was one of the most memorable moments of Leaving the Saints?

I laughed when her husband was leaving the church and the stake president said that all his power, priesthood and blessings were being taken away--however--you can still pay your tithing and receive those blessings--also her findings on incest within the Provo area and her research outside of Happy Valley

What does Bernadette Dunne bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Nothing--would have loved it if Martha read it herself

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

yes--In fact couldn't stop--listened at home on my Echo as well

Any additional comments?

Highly recommend..best book I have read and listened to in the last six months. Beautifully written and forthright

Great book

Loved it, so many memories of my life and leaving the cult. reprogramming my brain, telling myself daily that Iam good enough!!

The most helpful post Mormon book I’ve read!

Thank you for your courage and the important work that you do! You helped my younger sister in her transition out of the church many years ago, and she recommended this book as I have been transitioning out for a couple of years now. Your insights and insider information in this book were extremely helpful in my own excruciating process of transition at 56 yrs old. Out of all the voices, books, and podcasts of support, yours has been one of the most important. I honor each soul’s journey. However, as a mystic/spiritual type, I have felt a dearth of support in the spiritual arena. It is understandable that with people transitioning out of high demand religions there is a tendency to sort of detox from all things spiritual or religious. I went through this phase myself, only to return to the longing for some spiritual practices and nourishment. Perhaps it is our western culture, but some seem embarrassed by spirituality, especially after being duped into the cult life for so long. It’s hard to trust ourselves and others in the spiritual arena after living in such deception. It is refreshing to see someone so clearly intelligent as you, unapologetically pursuing spirituality, especially after all you’ve been through. And shame on those patriarchal bastards, and the women who support patriarchy (understandably so) for discounting your experiences. It is only further evidence of the inherent sickness that still pervades our culture. I actually hesitated in reading your book because of the rumors of lack of credibility with repressed memory therapy. However, from your book, it appears that you retrieved those memories all on your own, at least initially. I saw this happen with my own father’s PTSD. He also fought in World War II and his memories started to emerge 40-50 years after the war. Bless you and thank you again for your courage and your work!

Been there

X Mormon Utahan here to tell you this is a very, very accurate and not at all exaggerated account of what it’s like to exist in Utah. The oppression and abuse of women is very real. Martha’s telling of her story is validated to so many of us.

Beautiful, heartbreaking, healing

honest representation of what its like to confront an abuser and leave the mormon religion. i needed this book, listened to it on a 10 drive after being disowned by my father. i left mormonism with my husband and four kids 6 years ago. I listened to this book for the first time while healing the devastating loss of my religion. i knew right where to turn when my family of origin left me. thank you martha your bravery and sense of humor saved my sanity. ❤️