If I am Missing or Dead

A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation

By: Janine Latus

Narrated by: Shelly Frasier

Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins

Publisher's summary

In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."

That same spring, Janine Latus was struggling to leave her marriage - a marriage to a handsome and successful man. A marriage others emulated. A marriage in which she felt she could do nothing right and everything wrong. A marriage in which she felt afraid, controlled, inadequate, and trapped.

Ten weeks later, Janine Latus had left her marriage. She was on a business trip to the East Coast, savoring her freedom, attending a work conference, when she received a call from her sister Jane asking if she'd heard from Amy. Immediately, Janine's blood ran cold. Amy was missing.

Helicopters went up and search dogs went out. Coworkers and neighbors and family members plastered missing posters with Amy's picture across the county. It took more than two weeks to find Amy's body, wrapped in a tarpaulin and buried at a building site. It took nearly two years before her killer, her former boyfriend Ron Ball, was sentenced for her murder.

Amy died in silent fear and pain. Haunted by this, Janine Latus turned her journalistic eye inward. How, she wondered, did two seemingly well-adjusted, successful women end up in strings of physically or emotionally abusive relationships with men? If I Am Missing or Dead is a heart-wrenching journey of discovery as Janine Latus traces the roots of her own, and her sister's, victimization with unflinching candor.

©2007 Janine Latus (P)2007 Tantor Media Inc.

Critic reviews

"Unforgettable, unsentimental, and profoundly affecting, Latus' book resonates long after the final page is turned." (Publishers Weekly)

Expecting a true crime story, not a autobiography.

I was expecting the story of Amy Latus, the library book group had it as "True Crime" Story with the title: "If I am missing or dead." Amy was mentioned here and there. Long distance phone calls, as the author moves out of state to attend college. Amy moves in to Atlanta with her mother, who has got a divorce. Amy finishes high school, eventually marries and she works full time, pays the bills and he drinks and gets fired from job after job. She gets beaten from time to time, but he is always sorry after. Later after leaving and returning, she eventually divorces. I was expecting a story of Amy, and how she meets her boyfriend, their relationship, her going missing, the police investigation and the eventual discovery of her body. How her boyfriend, a convicted goes on trial . A little more than 3 hours in and I could stand the thought of another six hours of the author's life. I had heard less than twenty minutes about Amy, if that. Yes, both sisters were in abusive relationships, emotional and physical one got out. Sadly, Amy didn't. I have seldom not finished listening to a book, I wish I had got the book at the library, rather than waste the credit, it was certainly not worth it.